littlepiggy1 Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Okay, here's the deal: I'm in university. In this one class, there is this girl I have begun to have an attraction towards. Originally, I noticed she was kinda cute, but didn't really bother making any effort to get to know her (even though I had chances; more in a bit). As a result, I got to know other people in the class I'd usually sit with and chit-chat with, yada-yada-yada. Now previously, I had borrowed some notes from her (I'd missed the first couple classes from illness and after the teacher called out the entire class for a volunteer, it was her). I didn't really use that as a chance to talk her (stupid I know). Then, she actually had approached me to work with me as a partner on this essay, but unfortunately, I already had a partner. Again, I guess I could have gotten to know her then, but stupidly I didn't. Anyway, the other day was the second last class. By now, I've really started to notice this girl, esp over the last couple weeks. In fact, we passed each other in the hall on break and she smiled at me (again WHY didn't I talk to her). I made a point of trying to approach her at end of class, but we ended up doing this inclass group thing and I was working with other people, and she left before I did. So I didn't get a chance. So now I have one more class and a chance to talk to her. I want to ask her if she wants to grab coffee and chat, but I'm wondering how to approach. I've had mixed advice on this. Some people suggested just being direct and just going up to her and asking her if she wants to get coffee. OTOH, I had a friend who after I described her, suggested that she might be a little bit shy (she does seem a bit quiet and reserved) and that being too direct might scare her off. So he suggested smalltalk for 5-10 minutes, figure out a vibe, then use that to ask for her number for a potential future coffee date. Or something.* For the ladies her especially, what do you think would be the best approach? If you were in her shoes how do you think you would respond? * Oh yeah, and I've already heard the "club her over the head and drag her back to your cave" approach. That's my backup if everything else fails.
Racquel Colette Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 You have it right. The direct approach is best. I would say I'm reserved, also, and this is what I would respond to best.
Author littlepiggy1 Posted November 28, 2007 Author Posted November 28, 2007 How direct is direct for you? For examle, if I made 5 mins of small talk then asked would that work for you? Or should I skip any small talk?
Leahh Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 I'd small talk for a little, then be casual about it. Bad: Hi, want to get coffee? Good: bla bla bla, hey I was thinking maybe we could go for a cup of coffee sometime?
Nezero Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Go up to her and say 'Hey did I ever thank you for lending me your notes?"
Letranger Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 and remember:its not so much what you say as to how you say it
Dynamo Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 Go up to her and say 'Hey did I ever thank you for lending me your notes?" I'd do this. You can easily turn that opener into small talk for a couple minutes, maybe make a joke or two about how you were sick (only attempt it if you are good at being funny on the spot, though ). After you talk for a couple minutes, ask her to coffee. Bingo! Good luck man!
Author littlepiggy1 Posted November 28, 2007 Author Posted November 28, 2007 I found out through the grapevine that she has a boyfriend. So I guess I won't be asking her after all. Thanks for the advice all the same. I'll file it away for the next girl that catches my eye.
Dynamo Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 I found out through the grapevine that she has a boyfriend. So I guess I won't be asking her after all. Thanks for the advice all the same. I'll file it away for the next girl that catches my eye. Ahh bummer man! Oh well, maybe you learned your lesson (to strike when you have the chance). Unfortunately thats a lesson I still need to learn...
Recommended Posts