whichwayisup Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 The excuse/reason he has given me for waiting until the holidays are over is because of his kids... He has two ~ 12,14 Because of those two kids, there's always going to be an excuse or reason why he won't end his marriage. I know you want to believe that he's going to leave, but until you actually see action, him moving out and getting papers signed for the divorce, I wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, just want you to keep your eyes open and shield your heart abit too..
nadiaj2727 Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 Because of those two kids, there's always going to be an excuse or reason why he won't end his marriage. I know you want to believe that he's going to leave, but until you actually see action, him moving out and getting papers signed for the divorce, I wouldn't put all your eggs in one basket. Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh, just want you to keep your eyes open and shield your heart abit too.. That's exactly what I was trying to say but (as usual ) WWIU said it a lot better! I agree with what she said.
Ms_Natalie Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 Go forward with him with open eyes and make sure you remove the rose tinted glasses. My partner left his cheating wife boxing day, he lived with his mam for 6 months and eventually moved in with me, all along he was honest and totally understanding of my emotions and desires. I never forced him to make any decisions and this proved of great benefit. He has still not filed for divorce, but will be next month, as in the UK, divorce proceedings are quicker and smoother if they are separated for 2 years before proceedings begin. We are so happy together and enjoying every second of life together... This could also be the outcome of your situation. However, please be careful and dont force all your energy into your potential future together. You have reason to be wary, but no reason to run and hide. Sure, there are people on this forum who have experienced the opposite of what happened to me, and what you want to happen. Dont take any reply (including mine) with 100% face value as your situation could truly be the perfect one. As long as you are happy and comfortable with the proceedings, then I see no problem in being content with what he is doing. He is doing alot more than many mm do for the ow.
Ms_Natalie Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 The excuse/reason he has given me for waiting until the holidays are over is because of his kids... He has two ~ 12,14 ~ and he told me that his parents divorced right before the holidays when he was a child and that he could never ever do that to his own kids?? I guess that sounded reasonable to me, but who ever really knows? In my mind, if he hasn't done it (officially) by the end of the year, I can't keep doing this. It's not fair to his W, his family or to me. I'm not willing to fight for someone who doesn't WANT to be with me. I don't like sharing Waiting for the holidays to end is completely acceptable and understandable...let them (your mm & his kids) enjoy christmas together...I was panicing, thinking they would be all loved up for the holidays, but it clearly wasn't that way... Please be patient (btw) my partner has 3 children...staying with them for the holidays is absolutely fine.
overandout Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 I'm going through this right now, too, except that he's already told her he wants out and they're going through the process... And no disrespect, WWIU, but I'm there for him...It isn't an easy thing to go through and that's why I am supporting him, because having went through a D, I know what it's like...No matter how much you want it, it's still sad when something ends... And we're partners...If you can't be there in your partner's time of need, what does that say about you as a partner? OP: Just take one day at a time...It's another phase of emotions...I know what you're going through... (((HUGS))) Is this the same man who forgot to tell you he was married??
overandout Posted November 29, 2007 Posted November 29, 2007 The excuse/reason he has given me for waiting until the holidays are over is because of his kids... He has two ~ 12,14 ~ and he told me that his parents divorced right before the holidays when he was a child and that he could never ever do that to his own kids?? I guess that sounded reasonable to me, but who ever really knows? Maybe the goldifish will die or the hamster will need therapy. Sorry if it's tough love, but with mm there is aways a convenient excuse on the horizon. Who believes them? The OW who have little self esteem imo There is a OW on this forum who until a few weeks ago was "happy" with her mm though he told her he wasn't leaving. Suddenly she has done another U turn and kicked him to the curb. AT long last she has realised the facts, that he has feelings for his wife but she also hates admitting it. SHE was HAPPY lol, give me strength.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 It's so sad that there are those that are so bitter and unhappy with their own life, that they have to continue stalking others... Perhaps there are those who should focus less on other's who are happy in life with their own choices...and instead focus on why they are so unhappy with the hand they have been dealt in life that they resort to stalking and needling... GEL
overandout Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 It's so sad that there are those that are so bitter and unhappy with their own life, that they have to continue stalking others... Perhaps there are those who should focus less on other's who are happy in life with their own choices...and instead focus on why they are so unhappy with the hand they have been dealt in life that they resort to stalking and needling... GEL U truly need to get on with your life. I do wonder about how into a certain OW you appear to be, always speaking for her. I do believe that other people can speak for themselves. If you had bother to check, I haven't posted for over 3 weeks and I do believe stalkers are a bit more persistent than that, although I don't know any personally. Anyway as I said, I find your posts about stalking slightly pathetic and not helpful to the poster. They seem to suggest that I am not the bitter and sad one. Just because another OW's actions have proved me right, this rankles with you. I hope you have plans for the weekend to take your mind off my posts!!
Leia Posted December 1, 2007 Posted December 1, 2007 U truly need to get on with your life. I do wonder about how into a certain OW you appear to be, always speaking for her. I do believe that other people can speak for themselves. If you had bother to check, I haven't posted for over 3 weeks and I do believe stalkers are a bit more persistent than that, although I don't know any personally. Anyway as I said, I find your posts about stalking slightly pathetic and not helpful to the poster. They seem to suggest that I am not the bitter and sad one. Just because another OW's actions have proved me right, this rankles with you. I hope you have plans for the weekend to take your mind off my posts!! I thought I was the only one that noticed. There is a fine line between supporting and being a stalking, is there not? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and everyone can speak for themselves. I don't think you should be speaking for everyone who is in the same shoes as you are because like I have been reading of your posts, not everyone's story is the same.
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