jennyfur01 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 My ex dumped me 9 weeks ago. We've been in some contact since, seeing each other a couple times a week, and talking on the phone a bit. The last time I saw him was Sunday, and things were great. We went christmas shopping and watched movies, but he told me he didn't think he could ever live with me again. Basically I took that as he didn't ever want to work things out. So i have to break myself of him. It's been the most difficult thing. It's only been 2 days, but it seems like we haven't talked in 5 days or more. I really miss him, and I keep hoping he'll miss me and call....but i'm not too sure that'll happen. So far I've been the one to always contact him, with the exception of one time. How can you love someone so much and have such a long history with them (3 years) and then one day they want nothing to do with you. Just needed to vent. It's difficult not calling him, or leaving him messages on myspace. I know there are others out there with the same problem. Good luck to you all
kitkat289 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 hi Iam going through the same.Now I've been the one who contacts most of the times and like before I also have to wait a lot sometimes and sometimes my calls are missed since he keeps his phone on 'vibration' and hardly cares to call back.He only calls in the night IFF he feels like... Yesterday I had called him thinking that he shouldnt be busy at this time but he cut my call and so I decided not to call him.How can someone do this thinking that the other person would understand that they cant talk just because he was in canteen with his hostel mates or he was watcihing some movie with them?He could have messaged me but he didnt and damn I was thinking of avoiding his call if he called 2day.But its his sleeping time and that moron hasnt still cared to call me.Dont know if he's set some rules like we shouldnt talk too much or what...But whatever Iam never gonna give a damn to it.He knows Iam busy these days and if he doesnt call me even in 4 days and then says "Oh I thought you didnt want to talk to me so I didnt call you" excuse like he did few days ago.I had been waiting for him to call me but he didnt and being a loser I called him after 5days. Afterall I also have some self-respect.If he cant care to clear the misunderstandings then why the hell should I be the one to take the initiave every time!!
josh200536 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 I'm going through the same thing.. My G/F of almost 4 yrs decided to take a break from me.. Because we spent so much time together and made her feel older.. No matter how much you care give him sometime to think about stuff.. Try not to contact him as much.. Let him think that your doing fine.. Luckily enough i've been able to hold back my feelings and have NC with her. Today she has called me and talked to me forever like nothing has happened.. I see where your coming from though. It does cause alot of pain and it hurts worst then anything to go through something like this.. I as well feel it's difficult not to contact another. It about kills me not to call her and she how's she going.. I hope the best for you.. Good Luck!
SYRACUSE03 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 jennyfur01 - same here...same issues. Kills me not to talk to my ex g/f. We started slow, things looked good then bam! she fell off the face of the earth. It's hard to initiate all the contact and not get anything in response. However, one day they will miss us...some sooner than others. Good Luck!
Author jennyfur01 Posted November 28, 2007 Author Posted November 28, 2007 Thanks for all of your notes. Now it's day 3.......*sigh*
kitkat289 Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 heya jennifur, im with you.Its my day1 of NC and I feel so good as he must not have thought that this time I'll be strong and that It would be next to impossible for him to hear from me.(though I wanna be sure of myself...wanna have a strong will power to make it possible)
Illiandra Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Im in the same boat, i stopped calling and texting him, and all he does is email @ work or text, not admitting his wrong doing. Why waste your time and energy on someone who isnt putting in the effort trying to get you back, or make you realize why things happened the way they did. Overall, i believe NC makes the other person also feel as much as **** as it does to u
Surfer Girl Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 If you are the one always making contact, you will never know if they want to make contact with you..... Make it a goal... NC... You will never know if they really miss you... if you contact them all the time.... I did it... and when I didn't he contacted me... that is when I realized, he still cared...
empress Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 but whats the point if they still call or contacted you? there are still no way that you guys can get back together right? i experience the same thing here and is miserable when he dun contact me when i went NC/MIA... he dun even care even i am not contact him when i am mad or jealous. that making me crazy too, dun you have the same experience? but if he really calls, will you accept the call? or will you just contunue not answering?
SadShamrock Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Similar situation here. I am having such a hard time understanding how my ex suddenly doesn't want me in his life after so many years of being friends and lovers. I wish I could get inside his mind and understand how he is handling this so much better than me.
kitkat289 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 Hey you know if you feel your ex loves you as much as you love him and he does crave for you then its actually true....When I had no hope of getting any good response from him and I felt like I had been clinging, I changed my life....or you can say suddenly I had many places to go to...you wont believe I stay at home or go to college and hardlyyy ever have time to go out with friends...wel life's like that for an architecture student.But that time I had gone to some online meet where I had know some people just online and there I found a guy...the most attractive one there...had a little arguement since he used to be my enemy long back...lol (we had chatted 4 years ago and I hated him like anything so I just fought always also because he thought he was a dude and was over confident...) Well things changed for some time and now we are very good friends and once I was on my way to my aunt's place which is near his place and he asked me to meet just casually(before that,we had had many plans to meet but neither of us was really that interested) He took me from there and we started talking (as usual I was making fun of him and was making him embaressed...its always so fun to pull his leg dont know why and also maybe bacause his sense of humor kind of sucks) Later on I realised he wasnt kidding by asking me for a kiss but he actually wanted to kiss...Gosh! I was so shocked...he then stopped the car and looked and I know he knew I li ked him a bit but he was expecting a lot i guess and I wasnt very interested or despo to kiss him or get kissed....I give a damn to such people.I was actually freaking out but as im easy going I just pulled his leg even then and for a while kept silent after I pushed him back gently...(he was trying to hold me and had come veryy near...it was weird but for a micro second I felt maybe we'll get carried away with the situation.It was a great moment...in 1 word "lust" lol himthough I didnt let After some days,it was my bday and my ex messaged me "6hours to go..." then messaged "5hours to go..." and so on until it hit 12am.I had messaged him "do not call me" but from his next message I felt he was feeling miserable.He said he had been waiting for this day just to hear me and he had counted every single day.So I talked and it felt great.....really great.We talked for 3 hours till 4am. He wanted me back in his life and begged for it.But then after 2 days when I asked him, he said he didnt want it now. So you see, things are so confusing.It is always better to stop thinking about him/her and live and love your life.Sometimes being single feels great....though these tears keep falling when I realise I cannot ever find such a true lover for myself.he felt like a soulmate and only he made me 'express' feelings and to weave dreams and share them with him.he still tells me how much he misses me when he sees a husband-wife with their 3 kids as he always told me he wanted 3 and wanted a smaller version of me so badly....I really miss him in my life.
Author jennyfur01 Posted November 30, 2007 Author Posted November 30, 2007 i actually broke NC last night on day 4 It didnt accomplish anything. Just made me feel weak again. He answerered his phone and was nice to me, but didnt beg for me back of course. Which is what we all want right? blah. Here we go again....
kitkat289 Posted November 30, 2007 Posted November 30, 2007 lol still keep going on jennyfur....this is my 2nd day of NC and my target it 2 MONTHS(sounds so i mpossible for me because the max. I did was 2 weeks and few more days:sick:) Just believe that you WILL make him miss you TERRIBLY so for that you gotta win.When anything reminds me of my ex or I feel I did a great job not even thinking about him then I warn myself and tell myself that this is what iam doing wrong!One should never think that by achieving your NC target you have made some good changes bc that means YOU ARE EXPECTING and it makes you the loser. I feel just talking to yourself and keeping a check on your own self helps a LOT!At the end of every day, I ask myself as to how man y times I had the temptation to look at my cell for any 'missed call' or if I missed him---If I did it,it means Iam still a loser and I would try to make the next day better.This is the surest way to feel good about yourself and also learning self-control helps in long run.
Author jennyfur01 Posted November 30, 2007 Author Posted November 30, 2007 thanks kit kat. Good luck to both of us
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