bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Just wanted to vent - sigh - again God I want to move on, but god I am still so hurt or depressed (literally) I can't seem to get myself in a good place permenantly. I still cannot get over how much I invested with my ex, how I nearly lost my marbles to stay with the man I loved so much. That I gave my all and in return got dumped. How could someone ruin something so nice, it was really so lovely to begin with, 2 n a bit months of true happiness then bam the lies got found out. How could someone do such mean things to someone they were supposed to be head over heels in love with. Do you think he regrets his actions, do you think he even gives a flying fck? I was so stupid, I should have left him long before he dumped me. I should have not given so much of myself. I wanna get through this, but struggling still with how too. I am doing all the right things I guess still having depression somewhat, is not helping matters. Perhaps this chemical imbalance is not allowing me to progress how much my mind wants too. I wish someone had all the answers but they don't, I know this. I just wanna be happy and myself again. The person who could pretty much cope with anything. The one who was up 99% of the time and down only rarely. Is medication my only option? I donno, I kinda have this determined streak in me that says no, fck it, I AM NOT going back on them. They almost ruined my career and nothing or no one is going to do that to me, I have worked too hard for that. On a plus front I am going to see my hypnotist on Thurs and we are going to do a special thing that will work through some of the thoughts and hurt about particular events, hopefully enabling my mind/heart to ease a little with the pain I still feel. Sorry I know I come here alot, I just donno where to turn sometimes and do not want to be alone at times like this but do not want to worry my friends and family as I/He put them through enough already. I just like to come here for the company and support from those who understand what its like.
Star Gazer Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 I must have missed this, but how long were you two dating and when did you break up?
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 I sit and cry my heart out again, there clearly is something inside me that desperately need to cure/heal - whatever. Why can't someone make it go away.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 I sit and cry my heart out again, there clearly is something inside me that desperately need to cure/heal - whatever. Why can't someone make it go away.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 Well just half an hour later, given myself a bit of a talking too and had a good cry. Feel little better No one is interested but I feel it good to get my thoughts and feelings down on paper (so to speak). Don't mind me, I am just doing my, not over the depression and flip flopping routine.
Jade 02 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Hi big heart I know its tearing you apart,I went through it too with my first real love. I am very very unhappily married right now.and in my own room with my door shut reading the love shack threads. If thats your real pic your a very pretty lady so get out,and join a gym after work or something. You shoulnt have a problem meeting someone. I have been looking at some of these free online dating sites,and I have gotten about a 3 dates a day,if not more(Im too scared,cuz Im unhappily married,I still would never cheat,even tho I want to. There is too much in this world for you to be sitting,and moaning. Your not married, get out there girl, have fun,just dont get arrested HA!! (thats why I stay home too) Lifes to short,and there is plenty of fish,I would have a ball if i was not married WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Good luck,but get out!! have fun!!!
Jade 02 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Oh by the way Thanks to alcohol I have a sucky marraige.
Star Gazer Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 I must have missed this, but how long were you two dating and when did you break up? You must have me on ignore. Oh well.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 You must have me on ignore. Oh well. No I just didn't want to start getting into the it was only 7 months and I should be over it by now. I know this I just am not, unfortunately. But am trying my best.
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 Hi big heart I know its tearing you apart,I went through it too with my first real love. I am very very unhappily married right now.and in my own room with my door shut reading the love shack threads. If thats your real pic your a very pretty lady so get out,and join a gym after work or something. You shoulnt have a problem meeting someone. I have been looking at some of these free online dating sites,and I have gotten about a 3 dates a day,if not more(Im too scared,cuz Im unhappily married,I still would never cheat,even tho I want to. There is too much in this world for you to be sitting,and moaning. Your not married, get out there girl, have fun,just dont get arrested HA!! (thats why I stay home too) Lifes to short,and there is plenty of fish,I would have a ball if i was not married WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Good luck,but get out!! have fun!!! Oh by the way Thanks to alcohol I have a sucky marraige. Hey hun I have had a few dates, but I am not ready to meet anyone. My mind and mental state is just not in the right place at the moment, although making new friends would be fabulous. I do go to the gym and go out a fair bit. Guess its just time. I called up a friend tonight and that cheered my spirits so guess I should learn to do this more often when I feel low and am struggling.
Star Gazer Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 No I just didn't want to start getting into the it was only 7 months and I should be over it by now. I know this I just am not, unfortunately. But am trying my best. I still don't know when it ended...?
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 I still don't know when it ended...? July 7th??
Art_Critic Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 You sound depressed.. if it lasts much longer you might want to see someone about it.. A mild depression from a breakup can be fixed by yourself.. it isn't easy.. you have to work at it.. Get yourself out there.. working out.. go buy some new clothes etc.. etc.. then put your free time into something that makes you happy.. I love woodworking and building.. so when I get depressed I create a new project for me to use up my free time.. they have ranged from a few hours to many months... Do you have any love?.. like a hobby..
Author bigheartkindsoul Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 You sound depressed.. if it lasts much longer you might want to see someone about it.. A mild depression from a breakup can be fixed by yourself.. it isn't easy.. you have to work at it.. Get yourself out there.. working out.. go buy some new clothes etc.. etc.. then put your free time into something that makes you happy.. I love woodworking and building.. so when I get depressed I create a new project for me to use up my free time.. they have ranged from a few hours to many months... Do you have any love?.. like a hobby.. I was on meds but came off them as thought I was ok. I started taking them before the break up because of stuff happening within my relationship. So when the break up came of course I stayed on them until recently. As for hobbies and doing stuff, I do, alot hun. I go out with friends, I workout, I shop (alot!!), I have massages and pamper myself, work hard and generally looked after myself. I do think its a case of rebalancing, cause right now I feel better than I did, alot better but not 100%. It is more than moods, I think my body is trying to get used to be "up" without meds but quite clearly it takes time to adjust. In hindsight it was too soon to come off but now I have I need to just work through this. {{{hugs}}}
Rayofsunshine Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 bigheartkindsoul, It is amazing how much our situations have in common. You say that July 7th is the time that you and your ex broke up, that was the day I moved out of the house with my ex. While it wasn't a good day I look at it as a sign of good luck starting over, 777. I can't give you advice as you know what I'm going through right now but I'm here if you want to vent. Hopefully in time we can get through that resentment and truely move on to the happiness we deserve!
randuff Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Thats the day we were suppose to marry 7/7/7
Surfer Girl Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Have you heard from him at all? July 6 for me... Although I have passed him on the road... We e-mail and have had lunch a few times... Everyone's timeline is different.... If you did not experience love you would not know how painful it is... The emotions are a rollercoaster.... Certain triggers can bring it about.... Going off Meds I know is like seeing reality for what it really is.... I think Meds can help when it is to difficult to function.... But there does come a time when we just have to face it without..... There may come a time when you think of him less as you continue to be active as you are.... Hugs....
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