shayna Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Hey guys I'm in such bad shape right now. I'm angry cause its been 5 months and I'm feeling worse. The tears are just streaming down right now. And I'm like this every morning and evening. I live alone so that doesn't help. I just miss him so much. And to know that he seems to be out and living his life as per normal hurts even more. To know I'm not included in his plans but all of our friends are is the worst feeling in the world. I can't believe I'm out of his life after 8.5 years together. I just can't seem to move on. Nothing helps. I am sticking to NC because I don't feel there is anything more to say that could possibly bring him back. I have nothing to look forward to- the happiness I had in my life was from him.
sedgwick Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Hey guys I have nothing to look forward to- the happiness I had in my life was from him. There's the biggest problem in your whole post. What else could you do that wouldn't involve him and would make you feel proud of yourself? Travel? Learn to do something you've always wanted to learn to do? What do you do in your day-to-day life that brings you joy? About what do you feel passionate? Are you going after that wholeheartedly?
kitkat289 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 i agree 2 sedgwick....u have 2 luk deeper within u n know wat r u passionate abt n wt cud interest u...its d toughest phase of life so CHANGE ur daily routine! sometimes ppl get over in jus 1 day n for some it takes d whole life...i have seen some ppl who di n t get over even after a year or 2 n after soooo many years they r wid new partners who r so perfect 4 'em but still somwhere in thr heart they still ache 4 thr ex jus cos IT TOOK 'EM LONG 2 GET OVER....so GET OVER WID IT NOW OR U WILL NEVER....!!
SYRACUSE03 Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 YES YOU CAN!!!!!!! Bring positive things into your live and get rid of the negatives!!!!! Sorry to read that you are hurting. I feel bad for you and I hope you work through this quickly. 8+ years is a long time. My ex left after 4+ but this isn't about my issues. Tears are the way we release the pain. It's natural and human. If you feel that it's consuming you, you should really talk to a therapist. It's not a bad thing to do and an impartial ear may help you overcome this difficult time. As I stated in many of my posts, it's easy for someone to say "move on" but each situation is different and each of us is different. We cope differently and what works for some may not work for us. We need to be strong and find something to occupy our time. It's not easy but we need to do it. I live alone as well and it's tough, I know. I truly believe that we each have a plan in life and some poeple know sooner than others. Hang in there...I'll hoping the best for you!
BrianG Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Hey guys I'm in such bad shape right now. I'm angry cause its been 5 months and I'm feeling worse. The tears are just streaming down right now. And I'm like this every morning and evening. I live alone so that doesn't help. I just miss him so much. And to know that he seems to be out and living his life as per normal hurts even more. To know I'm not included in his plans but all of our friends are is the worst feeling in the world. I can't believe I'm out of his life after 8.5 years together. I just can't seem to move on. Nothing helps. I am sticking to NC because I don't feel there is anything more to say that could possibly bring him back. I have nothing to look forward to- the happiness I had in my life was from him. You are still grieving and that is a very normal process after 8.5 years. There is no timetable as to when you will feel better, but i know eventually you will. I am only a month of NC after 5 years and I know its going to be a difficult journey ahead of me. What I have realized in this time of self-reflection and You have to realize is that happiness comes from within. You are only going to be as happy as you WANT yourself to be. I know this is a very difficult time for you and its hard to see that (trust me i know and Im still trying to feel that way) but use this time to reflect and learn from it and you will become a stronger person. You cannot be happy with someone else until you are happy with yourself. I too live alone and its very difficult sometimes remembering memories of her in this apartment that we got together and I find myself crying and upset. But get all those feelings out now why you have the opportunity, whether its writing, crying, screaming, whatever. Life is a journey and it throws these bumps in the road for a reason and to make us a better person. Do not hold these feelings in or you could become full of resentment and bitter that you could prevent you from experiencing love again in the future. As long as you expressed your feelings/thoughts and emotions and told him how you felt there is not much more you can really do except work on yourself to become a better person. It takes two to tango and if he is no longer willing to dance the dance of love with you, you have to accept that and continue the journey of life without him. Trust me it hurts to hear this and i hated hearing it as well on threads on LS when she first broke up with me. There is no "how to" to get him back. I am talking to a counselor right now and it has really helped and I suggest you do the same. Maybe after some time he will miss you and get in contact with you, maybe not, there are no guarantees. Use this time alone for you to get in touch with you.
Author shayna Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 Thanks guys. I just lose it sometimes. I don't feel the need to contact him anymore because we've stated our sides as fully as possible. I have been talking to several therapists- one being a hypnotherapist. But, sadly, I find it hasn't really done anything so far. I know what I'm supposed to do but my emotional brain doesn't want to listen. I always thought we'd make it through. And I had no idea he would fill the space I left with a good friend of his so soon...I hate that they spend so much time together and have already had a fling. He denies anymore sexual involvement but once thats been done, its easy to fall back to it our of loneliness. Sigh. I'm so incredibly sad even though I have so much to occupy my time with (ie medical school). Before they got together I was doing OK but this complicates things so much and makes me feel I've been thrown to the garbage.
mcgintygirl Posted December 10, 2007 Posted December 10, 2007 Shayna, Med school makes it very hard for anyone to see things clearly. It's a really tough phase of life. I got dumped by my ex about a month into med school and he picked up a new girl there within 4 weeks and made it his girlfriend. It sucks but I know it's his issue not mine, though I tell myself otherwise all the time too. Just know that it's okay to still be hurt and sad, ever... It's normal and these people saying "get over it" really probably couldn't themselves. If anything you should be applauded for having so much on your plate and still surviving it. As for therapists, it took me awhile to find one. He basically keeps me sane weekly so I'll focus on life and goals.. I had to stick it out to feel comfortable with him actually b/c having a degree in psych. and always thinking medical and being type a didn't help me relax. haha. Hope you are doing better and med school is going okay. PM me anytime!
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