Simple question...

[j-dog]

You've gone out with woman once or twice (say a lunch meeting and maybe a dinner). You're realize that she's just not for you and you're not interested in seeing her again. What do you say?

 

A friend has tried to convince me that saying "I'll call" but then not doing so is an acceptable way of saying "not interested"... I don't buy it. I want to be respectful and polite while at the same time minimizing the awkwardness.

 

Any suggestions?

[Tony T]

Under the circumstances you describe, the lady probably already knows you aren't interested as is not expecting further calls from you. However, if she's not very observant she'll probably get the message if you don't call. At this early stage, you don't owe her any explanation.

 

Don't tell her you'll call if you don't plan on doing so. That's dishonest. If she asks when she will be seeing you, then just be straight up and honest and tell her you're feeling that right now in your life you need to go in other directions. That's all the explanation you owe her at this early stage.

 

Everything I have suggested is respectful and polite, as you desire to be.

 

Don't ever be intimidated to continue to see or talk to someone you're not interested in.

[clia]

Please, please, please, do not say "I'll call you" if you know you aren't going to. Just say "I had a nice time" (or something like that) and leave it at that. It's perfectly acceptable for you to decide you don't want to see her again, but if you say you'll call, then she may expect you to call and will be disappointed if you don't. If you don't say it, she may still expect it, but at least you didn't give her reason to.

 

Just don't use the words "I'll call you!" You will be a better man for it!

[ShortyBrown]

Just be honest, seriously. She might get her ego bruised a little, but she'll always remember you as the guy who showed her enough common decency to say "thanks,but no thanks."