jerbear Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 NC is "easy" just change your phone numbers, address, and job! I've done that in the past and it worked for me! I've done 5 years, 2 years, 1 month, and currently had NC broken and talking. It was an interesting chat with both the 5 year and 2 year around the same time! Talk about concidence. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 NC is "easy" just change your phone numbers, address, and job! I've done that in the past and it worked for me! I've done 5 years, 2 years, 1 month, and currently had NC broken and talking. It was an interesting chat with both the 5 year and 2 year around the same time! Talk about concidence. How and why did you get in touch? Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 right on spookie! Thanks =). Link to post Share on other sites
desertguy Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Well, sure NC is easy if one's the "dumper". I've never had any major problem when I initiated the split, other than some feelings of guilt that seems to pass fairly quickly. Often it's more a feeling of relief, to be honest. When one is the "dumpee" however, it's not always so easy, but gets easier with each iteration, IMO. Dumper and dumpee, LOL, sounds too much like a bowel movement. Link to post Share on other sites
desertguy Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Another funny thing with NC in regards to the one who was dumped, and the difficulty of maintaining it, I think part of it's just human nature to want something you can't have anymore. One gf I had, she dumped me, and I wanted her back *so* bad. I did NC, only let her initiate contact, played it cool, all that kind of stuff in "how to win them back", etc. We started hanging out again, and then she wanted to get back together. I realized that this would be hell to be with this person, and I said no and didn't look back. Now I think if someone dumps me, WHY would I want to go back to them? Of course that's looking at things logically, but emotions aren't logical, especially after someone dumps you. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 I can only say that you're unique b4r. I thought I was curious about the everything but you, you exceed me. Oh come now, chicks can be hawt too...in a hetero way of course. Yes they can. I find you extremely hot, presuming thats you in the avatar lol. I've read other stuff on other threads and it's scary we kinda parallel eachother on some things, one of which i wouldn't consider typical. On topic, i'm still NC. I dont know what day lol. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 I've always found it strange that anyone could view the severance of a relationship, no matter which side you're on, as easy, or that strong emotions don't come into play. If I didn't have strong emotions for someone, I wouldn't have entered into a relationship with them. We would have simply remained in a non-exclusive dating situation or moved on. I think NC is just as difficult for either side. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 I've always found it strange that anyone could view the severance of a relationship, no matter which side you're on, as easy, or that strong emotions don't come into play. If I didn't have strong emotions for someone, I wouldn't have entered into a relationship with them. We would have simply remained in a non-exclusive dating situation or moved on. I think NC is just as difficult for either side. in most cases, the strong emotions start to fizzle (for the dumper) well before the actual dumping takes place, because the decision is a process. that's why i think it tends to be easier for the dumper to end it and get over it without 'strong emotion'. for me, anyway, this is true. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 in most cases, the strong emotions start to fizzle (for the dumper) well before the actual dumping takes place, because the decision is a process. that's why i think it tends to be easier for the dumper to end it and get over it without 'strong emotion'. for me, anyway, this is true. Where for me, I find that if issues become an unresolvable cycle, I end it. I don't feel any less emotion at the time, sometimes even more emotion. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Where for me, I find that if issues become an unresolvable cycle, I end it. I don't feel any less emotion at the time, sometimes even more emotion. so, if i'm reading right, the first part is the same as what i said, basically. the only difference is that you would feel it more than i would, even after the same 'unresolvable cycle' that resulted in a break-up...i think...? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 so, if i'm reading right, the first part is the same as what i said, basically. the only difference is that you would feel it more than i would, even after the same 'unresolvable cycle' that resulted in a break-up...i think...? Maybe it's because I tend to make decisions pretty quickly and act on them, even when I'm still invested. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Maybe it's because I tend to make decisions pretty quickly and act on them, even when I'm still invested. okay, i see now what you mean. by 'unresolvable cycle' i thought it indicated a more lenghthy time, that's all. sorry for the confusion. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 okay, i see now what you mean. by 'unresolvable cycle' i thought it indicated a more lenghthy time, that's all. sorry for the confusion. The cycling can take time but it's usually not a great length of time. You know when something is a compatibility issue, when it crops up over and over again, regardless of discussions/agreements/resolution, within a short span of time. So, better to end it, before it gets worse. If there's huge gaps of time between cycles, you need to review what new stimulous(i) has caused a reenactment of what appears to be the same issue(s). Are these unresolved issues or new issues that have similar symptoms? Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 I've both succeeded and failed at NC (during different break-ups, of course). NC is definitely the way to go.Yes. I've done horrible things, I am ashamed to admit. Calling in the middle of the night drunk, threatening to kill myself... OK. I really didn't want to admit this. I would do NC next time. I will let my husband see and talk to the kids anytime, but I will keep NC with him. He wants to stay friends. I can't be friends until I heal and find someone else. Life is hopefully long, maybe after two years we can be friends. I am so hurting. I want to use the occasion to say how grateful I am to everyone for putting up with my uncontrollably crabby behavior lately. People normally talk back and I welcome different attitudes with open arms, but lately everyone is sensitive about my situation and I really appreciate that. Brings back faith in people. Link to post Share on other sites
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