Citizen Erased Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 It is pretty much standard around here that when someone asks for advice about healing after a breakup, we will all advise NC. So, for those of you with partners, could you stick to NC? Even if you don't, think about when you last did or whatever. Alot of us are guilty of not thinking of the emotions involved when we give advice. Breakup with him, divorce her, confront them etc. So, step into those shoes and think could you truthfully go NC? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I've done NC plenty of times, divorced someone and walked from relationships. Any further questions? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Citizen Erased Posted November 27, 2007 Author Share Posted November 27, 2007 I've done NC plenty of times, divorced someone and walked from relationships. Any further questions? What kind of steak do you prefer? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 What kind of steak do you prefer? Filet is nice. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Filet is nice. Cab you do a New York accent TBF? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Cab you do a New York accent TBF? A New Yowker accent defeats me. Will Bawston do? Wicked smaht... Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 A New Yowker accent defeats me. Will Bawston do? Wicked smaht... I agree that a Boston accent is easier to do than New York accent and yet there are more people in the world who speak with New York accents....I cant figure that one out... Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I think TBF is my soul mate. If only I weren't attracted to men LOL. Filet is my favorite steak too. Yum! As for NC - I've done it, currently doing it. It's not fun, but it is necessary for getting over them. Otherwise, you just keep wanting to get under them. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I've both succeeded and failed at NC (during different break-ups, of course). NC is definitely the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I've done it in short spurts, but now that the divorce papers have been signed and there are no kids or any other issues outstanding, tomorrow is day one of NC...for the rest of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
sedgwick Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Absolutely. I've blocked my ex's phone, myspace, email addresses, and IM. I can't talk to him. I'd start crying and saying stupid things. We've talked twice since the breakup in July and exchanged a few texts, but nothing whatsoever for three months. I refuse to let him think I'm pathetic. I'm really proud of myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 For me, NC seems to be easier than I thought it would be. NC with my ex-fiance since 6/25/06 (we broke up 6/19/06) Screw her! -tp been there, done that lol Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I've done NC. It is hard, and I did have relapses, but that and time really are the best way to get over someone. To just move on. Staying in contact only continues the pain. Why do that to yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
bustertypsy Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I am doing NC for 7 weeks now.It would be easier to pick up the phone and beg once more,but I won't do it.Once the other person is aware of the feelings you have for them then NC is a winner,whether you get back together or not.It just is very hard to do,but the easy road is the hard road. Link to post Share on other sites
Ocean-Blue Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 Honestly? If I believed the relationship was done and there was no chance of us reconciling, then YES, I'd stick to NC. But it would take every ounce of energy to maintain it. I don't know that I could go NC cold turkey. I think I'd most likely go from lots of contact to some contact to minimal contact to no contact. What can I say, it takes me a while to get used to change. Link to post Share on other sites
too old for this Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 NC is difficult that's for sure. I thought it would get easier as time goes on, but alas feelings keep coming up for me and I sometimes want to vent to her about them. I keep telling myself that my silence speaks volumes. I don't know what affect it really has on her if any (I wish I did) but I know it's better for me not to go around in that circle over and over. This is the first time for me to actually make the decision to do it and it was the hardest decision I've made in a long time. What I have noticed though is that my life has actually gotten better in so many ways since I've put NC into practice. I feel that I be will ready for someone new in my life soon too. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I agree that a Boston accent is easier to do than New York accent and yet there are more people in the world who speak with New York accents....I cant figure that one out... I can only say that you're unique b4r. I thought I was curious about the everything but you, you exceed me. I think TBF is my soul mate. If only I weren't attracted to men LOL. Filet is my favorite steak too. Yum! Oh come now, chicks can be hawt too...in a hetero way of course. Link to post Share on other sites
randuff Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 I am now on hour number 4 of NC! HAHAHAHA I have failed miserably at it in the past but I need to stick to it this time for my own sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 27, 2007 Share Posted November 27, 2007 That's what I feel, too. Just knowing ANYTHING about my ex - what he was doing, where he was going, that he is still with her, etc. was painful. I'm the type of person that, if you give me just a little bit of information, I'll obsess and think and draw up scenarios in my head. For instance, he said he was going "out of the country" over Thanksgiving. Well, even though he just said "I" I figured there was no way he wasn't going anywhere without her right now, so I got worked up about that since travel together was always fun and a big deal for us when we were together. He's from Canada, so I was trying to figure if "out of the country" meant up there, or if it meant a plane, margaritas on the beach in Mexico, etc. Just knowing that little tidbit really got me worked up. I had all sorts of ideas where they might have gone, how much fun they had, what they were doing, etc. I honestly can't wait until months and months have gone by and I have no clue where he's living, what's he's doing, if they are still together, etc. NOT knowing is much easier for me. It's almost as if I can just imagine him in some suspended state while my life moves on. Any information about him at all just upsets me and NC is really the healthiest thing for me personally. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 Been in NC a long time now and I plan to keep it that way. Even with her family (who insist on contacting me). The longer I am in NC, the better I feel. Link to post Share on other sites
oppath Posted November 28, 2007 Share Posted November 28, 2007 It's tough, because I want an apology from her, considering I could never treat someone the way I was treated. But ultimately, NC is for the best. There are women I have dated I can remain in contact with. But in general, I think there needs to be some space. I'm giving that to a girl I was on-off with for both of our benefits. I'm glad she is old enough to understand: a genuine friendship is unlikely so we need space so we don't end up back in bed. I could very easily use her for sex but I respect her, so therefore I will not contact her, not until some more time has passed. I usually burn the bridges with most women I have dated, in the sense that I'm not going to try to hold on to them in some way, even friendship, only because when I date someone new, I don't want them to worry about it. I'm not opposed to occassionally emailing or even seeing each other in groups, but if the breakup was non-mutual, I really want them to leave me alone. Link to post Share on other sites
desertguy Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 Man oh man is it tough, but NC is the best thing to do. I'm on the 3rd week of NC, and I've had plenty of moments of weakness, but haven't given into them. What sucks is that by sheer coincidence, her house is less than half a mile from me. It was cool when we were togther, we could walk to each other's place. But her house is very near a bike trail I like to use, and is visible from it. It's a good thing it's winter now and cold outside, as I haven't used that trail for a while. I like where I live, and wouldn't move just because of the breakup. I'm just hoping that by the time spring comes around, I'll be over her (which I should), and if I bump into her, no big deal. We parted fairly amicably, so I don't think I'd have a problem running into her and saying a brief hello and small talk. Link to post Share on other sites
spookie Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 I've maintained NC for 6 months. It's helped me find myself again and stay sane. It hasn't helped me move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Jmina Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 right on spookie! time only gives us what we give ourselves. we have to do the moving on not time itself. time allows us to have a clear state in which to go on our new lives. no more no less. Link to post Share on other sites
KenzieAbsolutely Posted November 29, 2007 Share Posted November 29, 2007 i've never had a problem with no contact. we're done. bye-bye. silence. piece of cake. although, to be fair, i've always been the initiating party. i guess that's why i never understand why it's so hard for people, because it's so simple for me, it's like, just don't. easier said than done for most, i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
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