Mylife Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 Well soo i am now into 6 weeks after the breakup and about 5 weeks of NC...as in my prev posts at numerous times i have mentioned that i am 18 rite now...and the ex is 20...and it was my first relationship, first kiss ever, first date and first guy that I had (not slept with..still a virgin) but been intimate with, as in making out, huging and kissing while lying beside eachother in bed and so on. Well thing was we were best friends for about 5 mnths b4 we started dating so we ended up kissing and making out 2 days after we started we dating. Yes it was very soon for me, since it was my first time. He had a gf b4 but was only 15 then so hadn't kissed her, so his first kiss too. Well anywayss...he attempted to plant the first kiss...and i gave into it...and it was beautiful...and then we were together for 3 months...and making out and physical part was quite strong in our relationship, jsut mebbe a little too strong and alittle all too soon than it should have been...many times we almost did end up sleeping with eachother but stopped at the right time because neither of us were ready for it. WELLL now gettingg to the point...obv...its my first break up of life...and i m not sure....like is it normal to kinda regret being physical with him?...i dont feel like reallllly bad about it...but sometimes i feel like i should have left it for someone else...but then i think that at that time i loved him a lot...i dunno...its sooo damn confusing... and well i dont think of him as much but still i do miss him...and i dunno if its part of the healing process or am i just not normal...but like sometimes these days i feel that i dont miss "him"...but i miss kissing him...i miss making out with him...and its gotten bad...i at times imagine myself kissing him...and close my eyes and feel myself lying beside him...and feel him kissing me all over...or me kissing him all over...and i feel guilty of feeling that way...i dunno what to do...i feel like its bad to feel this way...and i dunno if i am still missing "him'' or if i am just missing the physical part...or what i dunno... this is all so new for me...and i know tht since it was a very clean and mutual breakup...if he wants to i might get back with him...i dunno...sometimes i feel i will and sometimes i feel i wont...what do i do?...are all these feelings normal??..and is it bad that i got so physical with him even though we were just dating for 3 months??...
Scorpio13c Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 My dear Mylife, You are not feeling anything different than anyone who went through, what you did, at their age Believe me, we all go through/ have gone through what you are feeling. You are still so preciously young Don't worry, you'll be kissing many more cute guys in the near future & won't have any hang ups over this guy eventually. I promise you, you're just going through something we all go through! O.k.? You'll be fine! Scorp
Author Mylife Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 Aww scorpio...thanku ...it feels soo nice to hear some advice from experiencedd people...talking to my friends is great...but they are all of my age...and rite now i am more experienced than they r lol...we r all the naive type...so i am not bad if all i can think about is making out with him?...it just feels surprising to know...cuz at every second it feels like...ok stop thinking of that...and stuff...and yeah...definately i hope that my next kiss is with a cutie..hehe...this first one he was the best friend i had ever had...nicest person by heart...but not necessarily u know...the best looking...hehe...well...he was normal...not like ugly...but u know...he wasn't the guy that u'll be like oooh cute...or omg...sexy...hehe...not that i am miss beautiful...but well...it kinda makes me happy to think that my next one can be mr hot...lol...or like reall cutie type...hehe...i reallly like that line scorp...you'll be kissinng many more cute guys...brings a cute smile to my face...and makes feel happy...hehe...
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