So tired of getting screwed over. (long read)

[rdnjr]

So I really didn't know where to post this, and thought this would be an ideal place for it, so I decided to post it here. It makes me feel good whenever I write down my thoughts or type them and see other peoples point of views. Anyways to sum things up in my post before I even begin, I am just tired of getting screwed over repeatedly.

 

I was a member on this website at one time a few years ago when I was about 16 or 17, but I forget my username and password since it's been so long. I typically post on the bodybuilding.com forums, since I am into weight lifting and the such. I am 20 years old now, and comparing myself to how I am now and how I was then, I am a totally different person. Now I think that I am a pretty good looking guy, I like to body build and keep in shape, confident, easy going, have lots of great friends, doing good in college in my Electrical Engineering major, I'm a hard worker and have a good job and about to take up a second one for some extra cash, and I'm pretty responsible for myself.

 

Sure I'm a little rough around the edges too; I'm a redneck, I wear boots t-shirts and blue jeans 99% of the time, it's just who I am, I'm always working on vehicles, I have a country boy accent, I cuss, party, drink with my friends, young and crazy, and will do just about anything for fun...just a part of being young I suppose..lol. I honestly don't think that I'm that bad of a guy so I really don't know what's wrong.

 

I really didn't start opening up to girls after high school, I mean I had "girl friends", but nothing I really pursued after. Just never had the guts to. I had some interested, but I really had no idea on how to read body language, approach them, know what they wanted, etc. Man if I only knew then what I know now..lol. So I didn't actually start dating until over a year and a half ago or so. My first relationship lasted about a month and a half, got my first kiss, and I felt like I was on top of the world. It ended because she wasn't ready for another relationship..whatever, I took it as a good learning experience and moved on. We are still friends to this day, we talk every once in a while to catch up, but there is nothing there.

 

The next one was a couple months later, a girl I had my eye on about a year before it even happened, but she played so many games with me it was unreal. So this time I was smarter about it and played back and it drew her in. Finally I had her. I had my first sexual experience with her, I felt great and felt like a real man and thought this was going to last a long time and thats something that I will never forget about her. That relationship lasted about a month. Supposedly there was this dude that comes into town every once in a while and she had these rekindling feelings for him whenever they hung out, but they never did anything like kissing, sexual activities, etc, and she specifically told me that whenever he was coming in the next month she was GOING to see him. Period. I dumped her after she told me that and I was devistated. I thought I would never get over her.

 

Oh and it gets better with the next one. I met this girl about 2 months after the previous one. We hit it off really well, and our first night hanging out I almost had sex with her. I should have taken this as a red flag but I didn't. A few days after that I lost my virginity to her at the age of 19. Things were going really great until I began to notice that she was getting awfully close to one of my good buddies. One saturday night we was out, everything seemed great, I took her home, and things started getting hot and heavy and we ended up having sex...well I left her house about 3 in the morning and came home. I found out the next day about 8 hours later that she was ALL OVER my buddy and she never told me a damn thing about what was going on. I was EXTREMELY fired up about it, and really hurt at the fact that she would have the audacity to do something like that. That to me is the lowest of low. Needless to say I no longer talk to her or associate with her in any way.

 

Mind you there are so much more to these stories so if you want to know more then ask. I am just giving the big details. Anyways the most recent relationship. I met this girl at the county fair through a guy I work with. She was what I have been looking for for a long time. We had so many things in common, both had our country ways engraved into us, rednecks..lol. She is one of those rare "good girls". This girl was absolutely gorgeous, physically and personality wise to me. We hit it off very well from the get go and things just seemed so right between us. I really began to fall hard for this girl, and fast, and she did for me also. Things were absolutely perfect, it couldn't have been any better. We had our spats every now and again but we were both stubborn and bull headed so that's only natural. She had an ex of a year that she talked to every now and again, but she said there was absolutely nothing there because she was over him and he screwed her over pretty bad. She hadn't been in a relationship for over a year before she met me. She was the first girl to say "I love you" too, and the first girl to say it back to me. Well her ex called her up one night and expressed his feelings to her, and about a month after that we broke up. She told me "I really can't handle a relationship in my life right now" or something along those lines. Well I find out 4 weeks later she is dating somebody else. Any guess who? Yup her ex. I was pretty ticked but I'm starting to get numb to getting screwed over so it really doesn't bother me a whole lot anymore.

 

I have been on dates with other women and stuff in between these relationships, but those are the ones with the most significance. I am so tired of getting screwed over repeatedly that I really just don't care anymore. It's starting to make me bitter. I could really care less about being in a relationship right now. Sure I do love being in one, but it's definitely not something I'm dwelling on. I'm just fine being single. I am the same person single as I am when I am in a relationship for the most part. It seems as if the most logical thing for me right now is to go out and hook up with random women. I have before. I hope someone comes along eventually and changes all of that. Really I don't understand what the problem is.

/rant

 

If you actually read all of that then grats to you ..lol

It feels good to rant and get things off of my chest. Feel free to offer any input if you have any..lol. I won't be offended.

Thanks.

[Da_1_n_OnlyN3na]

wow that was long lol but something i can relate to.. i also tend to get hurt alot in relationships...i have shed so many tears because i get hurt so much and i also had given up on love it just seemed like i wasnt meant to be happy.. and i still think so because im hurt at this moment...i guess its because im a good person i dont do no harm and im friendly.. i just dont understand why the good people have to pay when they have no fault...i dont know sometimes i believe that us "good people" are meant to suffer a lot to make us strong but the harder we get hit the weaker we get and then its hard to trust and then you get hurt because you cant trust lol....o man so much confusion...i guess im meant to behere in loveshack giving advice to those people who need it...and not being happy just pretending i am because i have no choice...maybe thats the reason i get so deppressed...when i need advice or need to see if it is just me going through those hard times i come here...it makes me feel better that i am not the only one...it sucks though...

[rdnjr]

Yeah man you aren't the only one. Don't get me wrong I have learned a lot about women and relationships...it's just that I am not willing to put in the work involved with it anymore. Like I said there is so much more to those stories but it would make the post about 5 miles longer so I left out some stuff. I have never cried over a failed relationship, I'm just not that kind of emotional person...I really don't know how to cry...lol no joke..I honestly haven't cried since I was like 7 years old...lol. Now that I look at it a relationship is a pretty simple concept but I just really don't want to deal with the crap involved in making it work. Basically I have learned not to change who I am for any woman, be myself, be a man and stand up for what I believe in, and if a woman gives me any crap about that then she is out the door, NEXT! I honestly really don't care anymore, I am just tired of getting trampled on over and over again...well it's not going to happen any more. I like to offer advice on forums like this because I have basically been there and done that through my experiences. Other people have offered me the advice that I give but I guess the only way for me to learn is the hard way anyways so a lot of it I never took, and I found out on my own. And it's damn true. I am glad that I am learning this a a young age though, so I don't have to deal with it when it comes down to finding someone to settle with a couple years down the road. Hopefully that made some sense..I just got home from my best friends 21'st birthday and I'm not the most coherent person at the moment..lol.