jennyfur01 Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 So my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years dumped me the end of September. He told me he wanted space and he even told his friend he never wanted to get back with me. Well we still talk, and see each other maybe once or twice a week. One time I asked him if he really never wanted to get back together if he could please tell it directly to me, and he was like "Well is that what you want to hear?" I said no, but if that's how it was I needed to know. Well he said he felt that way when he told his friend, but that it didn't mean maybe down the road. So anyways....I want him back really bad. I still cry all the time and I'm really upset about the whole thing. Yesterday we spent the day together and he said he wasn't sure if he could ever live with me again when we were talking about things. I asked him if he just wanted me to move on, and he said I could do whatever I wanted, but everytime we're together all i want to do is know if we'll get back together. I said that was b/c I'm having a hard time just being friends b/c I love him so whenever I'm around him I'm hopeful, then I leave and I'm depressed. Why would he still want to see me if it seems he feels there's no chance for us?
jerbear Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 He sounds unsure of what he wants. 3.5 years is a good time. Honestly I think it is time to pursue your own interests including pursuing other relationships. Don't let other opportunities pass you by. In my opinion, keep it casual with him and pursue your own interests. He might come around, he might not. If he sees you dating someone then "come back"; you two might get back together. If not you've got a new relationship and forget about him. If you keep him around, he might come on to you and cuase relationship problems in the future.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 So my boyfriend of 3 1/2 years dumped me the end of September. He told me he wanted space and he even told his friend he never wanted to get back with me. Well we still talk, and see each other maybe once or twice a week. One time I asked him if he really never wanted to get back together if he could please tell it directly to me, and he was like "Well is that what you want to hear?" I said no, but if that's how it was I needed to know. Well he said he felt that way when he told his friend, but that it didn't mean maybe down the road. So anyways....I want him back really bad. I still cry all the time and I'm really upset about the whole thing. Yesterday we spent the day together and he said he wasn't sure if he could ever live with me again when we were talking about things. I asked him if he just wanted me to move on, and he said I could do whatever I wanted, but everytime we're together all i want to do is know if we'll get back together. I said that was b/c I'm having a hard time just being friends b/c I love him so whenever I'm around him I'm hopeful, then I leave and I'm depressed. Why would he still want to see me if it seems he feels there's no chance for us? He doesn't know what he wants. He's possibly stringing you along till he's ready to decide either way. Do you want to be his "just in case" person? A real man would be honest with you and give you straight answers (especially if he knew you were hurting as much). Clearly you are dealing with a boy. You need to initiate NC with this guy. Cut him out. Move on.
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
Da_1_n_OnlyN3na Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 damn i think im in the same postion too..you should read my post...well i even though we are in the same position i know the answer to your question..some guys are like that.. look all boys are the same in different ways they do things that look the same but are different at the same time. ur ex knows you love him because you keep telling him and you always ask him if he is going to come back...dont ask him anything give him his space that he needs and dont ask him 21 questions because maybe that might stress him out and change his mind to come back...is there something that you do usually like for example being jealous, getting mad all the time at him, picking fights??? because that might be the problem ..i know thats mine...
randuff Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 It may be that he wants you around for comfort. He is familiar with you, I mean it was nearly 4 years of being together so I am sure he feels comfortable with you. Take it from me, I have been in this situation. For 7 months I spoke to the ex trying to be her "friend" even knowing we wereen't going to get back together. Being friends and having emotional feeling with the ex just doesn't work out. You feel soooooo good when you are together and the moment they leave you feel like **** again. All you will do is torture yourself each and every time you do it. Trust me you DO NOT want to feel like this 7 months down the road. The sooner you decide to let go the better. I have just decided to TRY to do that and quite frankly I hope I am strong enough to follow through. I hope you are strong enough to do it. It isn't easy I know this but I also know it is the only way to truly move forward with my life. Ran
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