fever to tell Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 I just got back to school after being home for Thanksgiving break. Yesterday I hung out with my friend who I hooked up with a few times. The whole night we were very flirtatious, teasting each other, giving each other piggy back rides, etc. I deff got the vibes that he wanted to hook up with me and the feeling was mutual. We were chilling with our friend who likes to be a matchmaker and he said, 'you guys like each other, if you dont hook up when i leave im going to beat both of you up' jokingly, and just because its awkward when he puts me on the spot like that i of course said noooo but anyway, after we dropped him off we drove around for like half an hour talking because he kept telling me to keep driving. however, we didnt pull over anywhere, and eventually i just dropped him off and we hugged and said bye. no hookup. WHY? does this mean he actually didnt want to hook up? he did but changed his mind? will he ratinalize it as he didnt want to and not be open to it in the future?
Leia Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 Maybe he has a girlfriend? How well do you know this friend of yours that you hook up with a few times?
oppath Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 You can't read his mind. It's equally as possible that he really likes you but wants more than to hook up, and didn't want to treat you as a piece of meat. There have been times in my life where I have not hooked up for that reason when I could. Don't ready too much into it. Do you want to hook up only, a friends with benefits, or are you interested in dating him because you like him?
Author fever to tell Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 He's someone I know very well, I used to spend every day with him in a group of people. I can assure you he does NOT have a girlfriend. I know that he can be shy/ weird about things like hooking up with girls, but I really don't think I gave him a reason to be shy. I don't want to date him at all; in the past we've hooked up, then hungout normally, then hooked up again, hung out normally again, and it was quite nice. He's one guy that I really can handle a FWB relationship with without being jealous or wanting more, even though I like him, because I understand his mentallity and know he is not boyfriend material. Really, it wasnt stressful at all.
Author fever to tell Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 hmmmm maybe i came on TOO strong or something
Author fever to tell Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 please, anyone??? im still boggled!
Trimmer Posted November 27, 2007 Posted November 27, 2007 I know that he can be shy/ weird about things like hooking up with girls, but I really don't think I gave him a reason to be shy. How have your hookups gone in the past? Is he usually the first one to make the move? Maybe he wanted to see if you would make the first move this time. I don't want to date him at all; in the past we've hooked up, then hungout normally, then hooked up again, hung out normally again, and it was quite nice. Maybe he wants to break that cycle, but it could be either in the direction of being "just friends" or being "more than friends". He's one guy that I really can handle a FWB relationship with without being jealous or wanting more, even though I like him, because I understand his mentallity and know he is not boyfriend material. Really, it wasnt stressful at all. But he may be starting to realize that the most you will see him as is a FWB. Everyone eventually wants to be wanted - by someone - for the whole of who they are, and he may be starting to test you a little bit to see if you are the one who might see him that way. If he is starting to suspect that you won't ever see him as "boyfriend material", he may be subconsciously protecting himself a little bit. Not stressful to you, perhaps, since you are satisfied being just FWB and don't see it going farther. However if he is wondering what he is worth in a relationship, it may start getting subtly stressful for him.
Author fever to tell Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 How have your hookups gone in the past? Is he usually the first one to make the move? Maybe he wanted to see if you would make the first move this time. Maybe he wants to break that cycle, but it could be either in the direction of being "just friends" or being "more than friends". But he may be starting to realize that the most you will see him as is a FWB. Everyone eventually wants to be wanted - by someone - for the whole of who they are, and he may be starting to test you a little bit to see if you are the one who might see him that way. If he is starting to suspect that you won't ever see him as "boyfriend material", he may be subconsciously protecting himself a little bit. Not stressful to you, perhaps, since you are satisfied being just FWB and don't see it going farther. However if he is wondering what he is worth in a relationship, it may start getting subtly stressful for him. Him wanting me to initiate it is a valid point, as he has initiated it in the past. And I also did deny wanting to hook up with him when his friend called me out on it. The rest is plausible, I suppose, but highly unlikely. I mean, I GUESS its a possibility, but I don't think that he's ever liked a girl as more than a hook up in his life. But who knows? Thanks for the insight!
Trimmer Posted November 28, 2007 Posted November 28, 2007 The rest is plausible, I suppose, but highly unlikely. I mean, I GUESS its a possibility, but I don't think that he's ever liked a girl as more than a hook up in his life. But who knows? Maybe he's never had a girl as more than a hook up in his life, but maybe he now finds himself wanting one - wanting more. Back to school after Thanksgiving break - sounds like college, right? People change a lot around this time of their lives. Maybe he is trying to figure out what he wants.
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