In_thespurofthe_mome Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 Dun dun dunnnn. Yes. It's that tragic, and dramatic too. I'm back, Love shack, and life could be better. Let me give you the background. The Story: Basically, I am in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend, have been for six months (since the 7th of this month.) School started in September, and we are both in the same year. Unfortunately, this year is the toughest, most excruciating school year, third-year, and we both have to go through it. And to my 'un-surprise', communication was lacking since September. We just didn't have as much time as we used to. Although, even if we were not able to talk for a few days at a time, every time we did talk again, we would both click back, perfectly, and happily. Our relationship did not decrease at all, despite the random 'pauses,' if you will. The Problem: I wanted to bring the fire back to the relationship. So, I decided to write a 'love letter' and include a little something in it, that something being a really cute cupcake sticker thing I drew and laminated and such, but anyway, I wrote this really nice but corny love letter, folded it neatly, added some sparkles (yes, I know.) and the sticker. I really said some genuine, heart felt things in there. Honest and loving. Then I sent it, and hoped for the best. I called him last night, and he told me..bad news. He said that his parents got it first, and apparently they have a problem with it. I mean, he's 17, I don't understand why they are so strict. He is also a guy, and where I come from, the guys in the family are so disregarded compared to the daughters / girls. His parents hate me, I think. He said they want to "monitor" his calls, or something like that. And i'm here feeling like I ruined everything. I just wanted..to bring back the happy times, times when we had a good amount of time for each other. I have been as considerate as I could be, i've given him space, and also myself, and i've been VERY patient with this whole situation. I don't know what to do, I'm powerless. What do you think? Is there hope for our relationship, or will his parents cut the ties? Please, I will be grateful for any advice.
jcster Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 Just let it blow over. If his parents are that bad, then they could have gotten upset over anything. They can't watch him all the time, and they know it. Keep a low profile, and they will forget about it soon enough.
gonetildecember Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 What exactly was in the letter that made them so upset?lol Parents (some of them) can be like that, and I guess there is nothing you can really do. Give it some time, let it calm down a bit. I guess you'll see how things go. What is their reason for not liking you?
Author In_thespurofthe_mome Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 Thanks a lot. Yeah, well they're asian parents, and I think that makes a difference. In fact, I know that makes a difference. And I don't know what could be so upsetting in it! I literally just expressed what was on my mind, nothing vulgar, nothing sexual, just overly cutesy and stuff. Maybe they just didn't realize he had a girlfriend ..? But yeah, low profile, you got it. I guess I should also mention that his mother is...a tyrant. He doesn't like her very much.
jerbear Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 Thanks a lot. Yeah, well they're asian parents, and I think that makes a difference. In fact, I know that makes a difference. And I don't know what could be so upsetting in it! I literally just expressed what was on my mind, nothing vulgar, nothing sexual, just overly cutesy and stuff. Maybe they just didn't realize he had a girlfriend ..? But yeah, low profile, you got it. I guess I should also mention that his mother is...a tyrant. He doesn't like her very much. :laugh: asian mothers are protective of their "young"; males & females. The asian family internally is mainly a matriach while externally it is a patriach. I wouldn't say he doesn't like her, but thinks of them as hinderences. I view it as just a misunderstanding of cultures and mom's being protective of their young. To them, they view you as a threat in another woman replacing her. It is similar to a father being afraid of a younger guy breaking his daugther's heart.
Author In_thespurofthe_mome Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 Ah, yes Jerbear! You might as well be right. I mean, I come from an asian family...so I know the drill. Sigh, especially with MY mother. Hmm, I wonder when i'll be in the clear? Even so.. I don't want to be viewed as a threat I want her to genuinely be fond of me also, lol. But x__x this still won't help the fact that our communications will have to be sacrificed during this time, this happened like, 2 days ago, so I think they're still alert. I suppose for the mean time i'll just chill out and do other stuff Thank you!
jerbear Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 Well the mom's aren't fond of their potential daugther in laws till they are the daugther in law. In the meantime, lay low or send him an secret love message. You know the couple has their own little code going on. Or you can always use encryption.
Author In_thespurofthe_mome Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 Hehe, that's understandable. And I think i'm just enough done with love letters for now lol We both have facebook and MSN, so we'll just deal with it from there. As long as everything between me and him is still intact, then I'm okay Although, what I was also a teeny bit concerned about was his reaction when he found out his parents read it first. I wonder if he hated me for sending it :X because I just remembered he also told me that his parents all of a sudden got strict about their dating policy... Ack..I just hope they're over reacting! I'm going to hit the hay soon, it's a bit late. But all feel free to keep on commenting! It's very much appreciated. Oh and also, he said it was a very nice letter and he loved it. So no problem there!
Author In_thespurofthe_mome Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 I just want to thank you all for your replies--I've been feeling much better, and much more confident about the situation. There goes my plan to try and be spontaneous...
LoveLace Posted November 26, 2007 Posted November 26, 2007 Sounds to me like his parents just don't want their little boy to grow up. But I think the outcome depends on what HIS attitude is about it...I mean you haven't done anything wrong, he should stick up for you. Or, is he the type to go by what his parents always say? I know my semester's almost over, so yours might be as well? When there's more time for leisure, if only he could arrange a dinner or something like that where you can be around his parents and do your best to make a good impression. But if your as sweet as you sound, something's wrong with his parents...they might think your taking away his distraction from school or something of the sort...but even then it's extreme to say you'll monitor your 17 year-old son's phone calls...ugh
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