How to meet people

[jmiller]

I'm a 23 year old male starting a new job in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I'm finishing off the one class and research I have left on my Masters via distance, so I should have plenty of time to go out and meet people. I have no idea where and how to meet people outside of college. Any tips on where to meet women?

 

Thanks,

Justin

[Dynamo]

I'm a 23 year old male starting a new job in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I'm finishing off the one class and research I have left on my Masters via distance, so I should have plenty of time to go out and meet people. I have no idea where and how to meet people outside of college. Any tips on where to meet women?

 

Thanks,

Justin

 

 

Hey Justin, you came to the right place.

It's a lot easier then most people think! You can meet girls at any social function. The easiest and probably most typical method would be to grab some buddies and hit the local bar or club, and just spend some time there. I don't recommend going by yourself because, lets face it, thats a little creepy (Put it this way, if you were a girl, wouldn't you rather be approached by a sociable guy?)

 

So it's really that easy - Grab some buddies and hit some bars. If you see a girl you like, and you make eye contact, GO FOR IT!

[jmiller]

You make it sound so easy. What do I say? I mean I seriously have not dated at all outside of college. I'm not unattractive, and I'm losing weight (6'2" tall and down to 200 lbs trending down), but I still have no idea what to say and how to act.

[Dynamo]

You make it sound so easy. What do I say? I mean I seriously have not dated at all outside of college. I'm not unattractive, and I'm losing weight (6'2" tall and down to 200 lbs trending down), but I still have no idea what to say and how to act.

 

 

Oh don't worry, I may make it sound easy but I'm in the same boat as you! It's just that I don't think people can give us guys step-by-step instructions on how to meet girls. You just have to put yourself out there, not be afraid to get shot down now and then, have confidence, and be fun! If you act like that, you won't have to look for the ladies, they will be looking for you.

 

Just try to get into social atmospheres that are fun for you - I'm not telling you to hang out at bars or clubs if those aren't your thing, but just find a social activity you enjoy and your bound to find some girls there that share similar interests. Heck, if a kid I know can get a date at a STAR TREK convention, it can't be THAT hard, right?

 

As for the approach.. Thats all personal, and I'm afraid I can't honestly help you out on what to say. Just be as confident and fun as possible and you wont need to worry about what to say.

[thewholeshabangg]

best thing is to be yourself! i'm sure you have a lot to offer, just believe it and show everyone that you do!

and even though you haven't done any dating outside of college, once you get your foot in that dating door and you go out and start talking to your first girl, it seems like everything gets easier. just spark up any sort of conversation.. if you are new to the area you can ask a girl if they know any good restaraunts or places to hang out, or.. ask about the holidays being that they are here.. about how you started a new job or about their place of work. all conversations will vary depending on the environment.

 

i know that i love a man to come up and just exude confidence in himself and the conversation. so just focus on the points that you are good at talking about, because i know it is hard to talk about yourself to a complete stranger, so make sure you come off strong by talking about something you have a lot of confidence in. just don't be over-confident and rude/pushy.

 

but look! you started a new job, might meet a lovely women there, or someone might know someone for you! just make sure that it is known that youre looking!

 

good luck to you, justin!

and i think you know where to go if any more questions

[JeanQueen]

Jmiller, I hear Iowa City is a pretty happening place as far as the night life goes (at least thats the way my boss talks). It's not too far from Cedad Rapids either.

 

Just get out there and talk to people though. I personally like an outgoing guy and give credit to the one's who actually come up and talk to us ladies instead of making us do all the work

[jmiller]

Wow thanks for all the suggestions folks.

 

From what I hear Iowa City does have a pretty awesome night life. I think it will be a lot easier once I get out there and just do it. For right now I'm just focusing on the move and trying to get everything in order (it's amazing how much stuff one accumulates after living on their own for six or so years). Living free of a significant other for a while probably won't be too awful bad either, lots of bowling and partying sounds like a great idea.

 

Thanks for everything,

Justin

[oppath]

the best thing to do is to be social with everyone, and do not discriminate. This means flirt lightly with all women, and hell, even men (not sexually of course). I've had the most dating success when I was focusing on increasing the number of male friends I had. Why? I guess asking dudes to hang out was a bit nervewracking, and getting that out of the way made asking out women more natural and easy. I also got to meet more people and had more social options. Often, when we want to "get out there and date" a big reason is we are not satisfied socially, as if dating were the cure. It's only one part of your social life, and it is a big part, but I've found that when I improve my social life in general, the dating part kind of falls into place.

 

So don't discriminate who you talk to and flirt with; don't turn down and possible positive experience. Turn them down when it reaches the point of actual dates and hooking up, but until that point, be as social as you can, even if it is unnatural to you.

[IpAncA]

It's just that I don't think people can give us guys step-by-step instructions on how to meet girls. You just have to put yourself out there, not be afraid to get shot down now and then, have confidence, and be fun!

 

I also agree.