lion234 Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 Hello guys, this is a very good website and this is my first post. So correct me if i go off track somewhere as my story is extremely complicated.Sorry for making it a long post. There is this girl A whom i met at an online chat room in 2004 and we have been chatting ever since. I wanted to meet her in person this year in February as she studies overseas in Canada and thus comes home every 4-5 months. Then as fate would have it, i broke my ankle and thus was sidelined at home.Then she met this guy at a club and he somehow got her into her first relationship with him and never treated her as a friend from the beginning.Though i had never met her before,she was a FANTASTIC person to talk to and was very different,just my dream girl. I was of course sad but well i told her i was happy for her. Then it turned out that guy would scold her,shout at her,control her life and would threaten to do bad things to her if she ever left him. And he never trusted her from the time they were attached till now. She wanted to leave him but his threats scared her and he somehow would sweet talk his way through. Recently i told her to be firm and she wants to dump him but shes scared to do so. I met her 2 weeks ago and she is as nice and sweet in person as she was on the phone and the net. But it seems like she is not really into me and it is always me who initiates phone calls,text messages and stuff. But she tells me everything. She told me she does not ever want to see him again. It happens i know the guy as well but just hello-hi friends. But when she came back he asked her to come meet him and she did ! well guess what,i told her everything and the answer was on as she said she didn't want to get into a relationship so soon and she said i was a nice guy and stuff but didn't want to be in one so soon. She said sorry to me loads of times and told me not be sad and stuff and i myself told her i won't pester her or force her. But then, she has since changed her attitude towards me. We talked on the phone and there was no more jokes that we always had,no laughter just straight talk as she was telling me that he was not letting go of her.She hardly talks and she has met him twice after that and yesterday i wanted to meet her but she said she had was busy and then 2 hours later the guy asked me to join them for as they were meeting. Wasnt she busy then? Why does she hate me so much? I never touched her or scolded her,adviced her for hours and stuff. Shes the second gal i've liked in my life as the first one was cheating on me 3 years back. I was so sad that i left halfway and found myself in tears. What wrong have i done that i am hated so much? She does not answer my calls,my messages are replied very slowly.This is really unfair. :(:(
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 The problem is that you are assuming that you have done something to make her turn on you. She decided all on her own that she did not want a relationship with you. Your best bet is to end all contact with her and move on. I think with time you'll realize that this 'dream girl' was in fact a nightmare you are better off without in the long run.
Author lion234 Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 What you say has a point but she said to me that 'i wished you had told me this earlier,how different things would had been'. But well, i did tell her when i confessed that i like her that if she rejects me,we shall still be friends and she was like 'yea how can we ever break our friendship' that kinda thing. But then,when her bf treats her like absolute dirt,tells her he sleeps with other girls,threatens to harm her family,lies ALL the time,blackmails her,why does she still wanna meet him when she has told me she wants to end everything with him and do not wanna see him anymore? So i asked her 'why do u still see him' and she started sobbing and said 'i do not know myself,i don't want to either'. And i now treat her like her a friend despite still loving her but yet,she dosen't reply my messages and stuff. I am not even 1% bad as her 'bf/ex-bf' . I have never raised my voice at her before and had/have and will always be there for her even if it means being just a friend.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 She needs him like a crackhead 'needs' crack. Some women are just drawn to someone who treats them poorly. Why? A variety of reasons. Just know that as long as she needs the sort of abuse this guy hands out, you will never have a chance with her. Her excuse? You are 'too nice'. With women like this, you just can't win. They need what you don't have the capacity to give: abuse and mistreatment. Until she works that out for herself, the best you can hope for is her continued half assed attempts at friendship, which will increase and decrease depending on how much this guy is paying attention to her.
Author lion234 Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 You have a point. It is just plain sad man. Her family disapproves her of her going out with him for other reasons,they do not know that she still sees him. Sigh. I mean i am not like him,i know if i can't have her i cant.But cant she be friends still? 2-3 other guys had been rejected by her and they are still friends. Sigh.
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