bandgeek0203 Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I will preface this by saying that I am in my early 20s and relatively new to the dating scene. About three months ago I started seeing this guy. I immediately had strong feelings for him, emotionally. I don't know what it was, but it was like I had been struck by lightning. I was careful not to chase him though, I let him initiate our dates. Then, all the sudden, it stopped. He stopped talking to me, calling me, after he had been talking to me everyday. I was so hurt, my heart was broken. But more than anything, I was confused. After waiting a week or so, I contacted him online just to say hi, not to interrogate him, but to let him know I was there. We talked sporadically over the following weeks. After I made the initial effort, I always waited for him to come to me. I thought things were on their way to getting better, or maybe we would grow back together again. However, then he began ignoring me in person. Now I was totally confused. I let him though, I came to the conclusion that he wasn't into me. But then why had he told me he liked me and shown so much interest in me? To go from that to completely ignoring me was hurtful. It wasn't like I was expecting him to go out with me again, but at least acknowledge I existed. I thought I would quickly get over it. I tried to think about other things. But the pain was still there, and the more I buried it, the less bearable it became. So, I decided the only thing I could do was ask him what was up. I needed the comfort of knowing that I had tried. At first he played stupid, and I gave up, this wasn't worth my time. But then he suddenly apologized. He talked to me again and apologized more and said he just thought I wasn't interested, he didn't want to rush me, and that he definitely liked me. I accepted his apology but also let him know that I didn't want to make him feel bad, I just wanted to know what was going on, directly. Now, I wouldn't have gone through all this if I hadn't liked him. I definitely like(d) him. So, then he said, if you ever want to go out again, I'd like to, just call me. Why can't he call me though? After all, he was the one ignoring me. I accepted that much, but I was a little let down that he said "call me." Now it's been a few days and he hasn't talked to me. I just want to know what other people think. Is he letting me down? He said that I was a nice girl and didn't want to rush me, I want to believe him, but I'm not so sure.
Trialbyfire Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 There's no sure fire "tactic" to keep anyone's interest. Why do you feel it's a reflection on you? It's not. Chemistry happens or it doesn't. Don't chase this guy. You've more than done your fair share of pursuit. If he can't be bothered to act like a man and meet you halfway, let him go find his ego boost elsewhere. The two of you aren't really breaking up, you were just dating. Consider him a write-off and try to move on. Whether he comes back to you or not, isn't within your control and to be honest, I don't think he's much of a catch with his attitude. Don't you want a more assertive guy, one who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go get it? Do you really want to spend more time with someone who needs to have his ego stroked on a constant basis?
Author bandgeek0203 Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 thanks for the advice! i will definitely think about that last question.
honey001 Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 A woman knows certain signs! Does he seem sincere in what he says? He's probrably asking you to call him, because it felt like he was doing all the work and maybe he needs to feel that you are interested by you calling him! I think it maybe best if the both of you really take the time out in getting to know one another abit more. Give him a call, this could justify whether you should move on or not!
4whatItsWorth Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Give him a call, this could justify whether you should move on or not! I don't agree with this. A guy who is interested in a girl will make SURE that she knows this...he's just not that into you. Now go find a man who will IS!
birdie Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I don't agree with this. A guy who is interested in a girl will make SURE that she knows this...he's just not that into you. Now go find a man who will IS! no disagree with this, it depends on the man, not all are that confident. I agree with TBF. whatever the reason is he is not assertive enough. maybe he is insecure, maybe he has issues, whatever it is the timing is wrong and he is not in the right sort of place for a relationship. these things happen, find someone else who can give you what you need
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