sw Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 I was dating a woman for 3 months but the last month she got distant the told me she didnt want a commitment and needed time to hang out with her friends. Well her friend is her abusive ex boyfriend. I saw her hanging out with him the other day and couldnt talk because I had such strong feelings and was hurt... She wrote this little email to me today. She still wants to be friends with me but it sounds like she is thinking of getting back together with him. She wants to hang out with me next week now. I dont think I can do this though, I feel like a backup. " J and I have a long history. Yes a lot involves hurt but the core is that we were good friends. I have decided that I enjoy his friendship as long as that its NOT complicated. And who knows it could start to be less fun and that is when my boundries go up."
Trimmer Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I was dating a woman for 3 months but the last month she got distant the told me she didnt want a commitment and needed time to hang out with her friends. Well her friend is her abusive ex boyfriend. I saw her hanging out with him the other day and couldnt talk because I had such strong feelings and was hurt... She wrote this little email to me today. She still wants to be friends with me but it sounds like she is thinking of getting back together with him. She wants to hang out with me next week now. I dont think I can do this though, I feel like a backup. Red flags, indeed. I think I would feel the same way as you, and I wouldn't be inclined to want to "hang out" with someone considering re-entering a relationship that had been abusive. How much more drama do you need in your life right now? Bow out gracefully and wish her well as she goes on her way.
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