shadowplay Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Is there a way of gently prodding an SO to lose weight? My bf is normal weight. He's 6'2" and about 195 lbs. He's not overweight at all, but I still think he would look better if he were to lose about twenty lbs. Recently I saw some pictures of him from when he was 19 and about 20 lbs lighter and he looked remarkably hot (he's 23 now). He's still very good-looking, but he was like super attractive at the lower weight. Is there any way of me bringing this up? What if I suggested he come to the gym with me?
Trialbyfire Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 shadowplay, methinks you're way too concerned about superficial perfection. His weight at his height, is healthy. Stop it. If superficial perfection is important to you, you can work on yourself to become perfect. Don't put this on your b/f.
Star Gazer Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 If superficial perfection is important to you, you can work on yourself to become perfect. Don't put this on your b/f. Hallelujah!!!
marlena Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Oh, no, not another brainless thread about someone being 10 pounds overweight? Enough already!!!
Trialbyfire Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 shadowplay, I think you're projecting. If you think about it, how would you feel if your b/f told you he preferred that you lose 20 lbs to get to a thinner self, which to him would be even better looking? I suspect you'd be very hurt. Even more so, are you looking for excuses to sabotage your relationship? If you're not happy in it, for whatever reason, maybe it's time to reconsider it.
LivA79 Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Is there a way of gently prodding an SO to lose weight? My bf is normal weight. He's 6'2" and about 195 lbs. He's not overweight at all, but I still think he would look better if he were to lose about twenty lbs. Recently I saw some pictures of him from when he was 19 and about 20 lbs lighter and he looked remarkably hot (he's 23 now). He's still very good-looking, but he was like super attractive at the lower weight. Is there any way of me bringing this up? What if I suggested he come to the gym with me? If he is the competitive type, you guys have a little competition, like, who can get better abs, who can squat more, do more reps, go longer on the treadmill, stuff like that.
Author shadowplay Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 It's not that I'm unhappy with the way he looks now. I think he's really hot, but it's just the kind of thing where you see an old picture of somebody and you're like "gee, they look amazing with darker hair!" I just think it would be a nice perk.
Trialbyfire Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 It's not that I'm unhappy with the way he looks now. I think he's really hot, but it's just the kind of thing where you see an old picture of somebody and you're like "gee, they look amazing with darker hair!" I just think it would be a nice perk. Accept him. It would probably be a nice perk for him, if you were the perfect too. Are you?
LivA79 Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 It's not that I'm unhappy with the way he looks now. I think he's really hot, but it's just the kind of thing where you see an old picture of somebody and you're like "gee, they look amazing with darker hair!" I just think it would be a nice perk. Oh, how about this one, "Hey, let's see if we can look like we did in high school together. You want to?"
Author shadowplay Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 *Sigh*...forget I brought the whole thing up.
Author shadowplay Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Hallelujah!!! Hey, you were the one who was complaining about a mole on your bf's back!
Tony T Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 It's not that I'm unhappy with the way he looks now. I think he's really hot, but it's just the kind of thing where you see an old picture of somebody and you're like "gee, they look amazing with darker hair!" I just think it would be a nice perk. Time moves on, people get older and their body changes. Chances are good that if I could show your boyfriend a picture of what you will look and what you will weigh 25 years from now...oh, well, nevermind...don't even want to go there!
Star Gazer Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Hey, you were the one who was complaining about a mole on your bf's back! He was never my BF, we were casually dating, AND I realized how LAME I was being. But what's your point in bringing this up in conjunction with dealing with YOUR situation?
Author shadowplay Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Okay, okay, people. I'm a terrible superficial bastard. I'll just go jump off a bridge now. Forget I mentioned anything...
Racquel Colette Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 OK, if he does lose 20 pounds and is hotter, he will very likely find someone cuter and in a higher league than yourself and dump you for her. Are you willing to take that risk or accept him as he is (hot, yet not as hot as he could be 20 pounds lighter?)
Author shadowplay Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 shameless! But then she wouldn't get to enjoy the new, improved and depressed bf! But Shadow.... are you a perfectionnist? an idealist? It often sounds as if you're looking for something that isn't what you have in front of you. My personality type is INFP, so I guess I am sort of an idealist. And I do tend to be somewhat perfectionistic as well.
Racquel Colette Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Shadowplay, so I guess you don't want him to lose the weight now so he doesn't dump your ass for someone in a higher league than you? Good choice.
Sunblast Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Reward him with great head when he makes a serious effort.
afc2dj Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I feel a double-standard has appeared regarding this. If I made a post asking how to get my gf to loose weight I would attacked and told what a horrific superficial man I am and how I should accept her as she is, bla bla, but its become ok for women to expect their bf's to fit whilst they are shaped like an SUV [not that I am saying OP is, just general comment]
Pirouette Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I feel a double-standard has appeared regarding this. If I made a post asking how to get my gf to loose weight I would attacked and told what a horrific superficial man I am and how I should accept her as she is, bla bla, but its become ok for women to expect their bf's to fit whilst they are shaped like an SUV [not that I am saying OP is, just general comment] Did you actually read any of the replies to this thread?
Krytie TV Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 shadow, just cut the gut loose already. You want him to look hotter, you're flirting with (and thinking about) his best friends. Seriously, let the guy go. You would be doing him a favor because if he knew how deep the obsessions lie, he would probably thank you. That sounds harsh, but just let him go already. Give him a chance at love with someone who actually appreciates him.
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