B_E_L Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 I'm not sure really what I'm doing here. Actually I don't seem to know much of anything any more. I think I just need to get it all out there and talk to someone about it and then maybe I'll feel better....or maybe not, I don't know. To make a long story short, my husband left me on November 2nd to go home (which is 5000 miles away) and he doesn't plan to come back. He says he feels trapped here and that he has no options. That he thinks he missed out on some things before he got married and he feels like he needs to go back and do those things before he can be married. He says he loves me, and he doesn't mean to hurt me, he's just very confused and feels it's better to just end it than to keep me hanging on. I'm so confused..part of me thinks he just doesn't know how to tell me he doesn't love me anymore and another part believes that he's just very confused and what he's telling me is true. I'm just so sad I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I know "this too shall pass" and all that jazz, but right now I just wanna lay curled up in my bed forever and smell his pillow.
MattyTee Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Hey B, You are here because it's a great place to be and you'll find a lot of warmth and support. You are here because many of us are going through the same pain and confusion as you and we share that, on days when we feel strong we will share that strength and on days when you feel weak you will be bolstered by many hands, with a deep caring born of understanding. I'm sorry that you are going through this, do keep posting though, I am sure it will help. Really, all you can do is take this time to be good to yourself. He will need to go through whatever he has to go through and you can't do that with him. It's horrible and hard, but we can't change people's minds - they can only do that themselves. I would say go with the emotions as they come. Try not to get stuck in anything but let them come, be with them and then let them go as they do. Why not stay in bed curled up! But then why not get up and have a hot bath and a nice hot mug of tea! Treat yourself, be good to yourself I wish you the best.
Trialbyfire Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 I'm so confused..part of me thinks he just doesn't know how to tell me he doesn't love me anymore and another part believes that he's just very confused and what he's telling me is true. It doesn't matter what he says, it's what he does that matters. All the knowledge in the world about his motivations, won't change the fact that he's removed himself from your life with an insurmountable distance. Let all your feelings out. The pain and the anger. It's part of the cycle of healing and uninvesting. There's nothing wrong with wanting to curl up and cry.
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