almosthere Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 My big crushes friend brought me up, to one extent or another, the other day in school when they discussed her current bf. My crush said that she is "Too crazy about her bf to think about anyone else" but what stuck out to me is that she said "She hardly knows me" of course she told this to her friend, so if she didnt like me I think her friend would be an easy person to let know If she didn't like me right now I would have expected, a "no" or "not interested" I would not have expected her to tell her friend that she likes me a lot while she is dating someone else Is her reaction good for me in that it created a huge window of opportunity? Does this mean that getting to know her more is my way of geting anywhere? Keep this in mind, she had a bf for awhile before she had her current bf. Her current bf was in my EXACT spot while she was dating the other guy before. If you understand...So I am hoping/guessing this means I have as much a shot as anyone. Any insight is great.
amerikajin Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 My big crushes friend brought me up, to one extent or another, the other day in school when they discussed her current bf. My crush said that she is "Too crazy about her bf to think about anyone else" but what stuck out to me is that she said "She hardly knows me" of course she told this to her friend, so if she didnt like me I think her friend would be an easy person to let know If she didn't like me right now I would have expected, a "no" or "not interested" I would not have expected her to tell her friend that she likes me a lot while she is dating someone else Is her reaction good for me in that it created a huge window of opportunity? Does this mean that getting to know her more is my way of geting anywhere? Keep this in mind, she had a bf for awhile before she had her current bf. Her current bf was in my EXACT spot while she was dating the other guy before. If you understand...So I am hoping/guessing this means I have as much a shot as anyone. Any insight is great. If she said she's crazy about her boyfriend, then one can logically deduce she has absolutely zero interest in you at the moment. If she was interested in you, she would have asked your friend all about you and probably made comments about how she'd like to date you. She didn't do that. She did the opposite. She talked about how into her boyfriend she is. Move on, dude.
Author almosthere Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 If she said she's crazy about her boyfriend, then one can logically deduce she has absolutely zero interest in you at the moment. If she was interested in you, she would have asked your friend all about you and probably made comments about how she'd like to date you. She didn't do that. She did the opposite. She talked about how into her boyfriend she is. Move on, dude. Did you miss where I said that she felt the same way before with her other boyfriend? She wasn't interested in her current bf while she was dating the other guy. This girl is the type who won't do anything with any guy ever if she is dating someone. Like more loyal than anyone I have ever known. I understand what you are saying, and with most girls it would be true.
amerikajin Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Did you miss where I said that she felt the same way before with her other boyfriend? She wasn't interested in her current bf while she was dating the other guy. This girl is the type who won't do anything with any guy ever if she is dating someone. Like more loyal than anyone I have ever known. I understand what you are saying, and with most girls it would be true. Look, I can only go by what you've disclosed so far. There is nothing you've written that would indicate to me that she has any romantic interest in you. Her dating history is only relevant in the sense that she might have dumped her ex for this guy because this new guy really turned her on whereas her ex was just kind of a passing interest or perhaps an old relationship that was already in its death throes. She's already told a third party in confidence that she likes this guy a lot, and she said next to nothing about you. Now there could be more to the story here. Maybe she's giving you a lot of signals or something, but that wasn't apparent in your post.
Trimmer Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 ...what stuck out to me is that she said "She hardly knows me" of course she told this to her friend, so if she didnt like me I think her friend would be an easy person to let know If she didn't like me right now I would have expected, a "no" or "not interested" I think you are grasping at straws. After you know she said that she was too crazy about her current boyfriend to think about anyone else, are you suggesting that the difference between her saying "I hardly know him" and "I'm not interested" is enough to create a "huge window of opportunity?" I can understand, if you are crushing, how you would look for ANY tiny positive sign, and try to turn it into a big one, but if you're asking for an objective opinion, I don't really see it. Listen to yourself here: This girl is the type who won't do anything with any guy ever if she is dating someone. Like more loyal than anyone I have ever known. ... I am hoping/guessing this means I have as much a shot as anyone. I guess you could say that yes, you do have "as much a shot" as anyone, but if she is truly more loyal than anyone, then that shot is effectively zero while she's with her current boyfriend. How would you be any different from anyone else in the eyes of this loyal and honorable girl? Now, if your perspective is that you will wait around for her current relationship to fail and then take your shot, then yes, you have a shot. But remember, this isn't a dying relationship - it's one in which she's "crazy about her current bf." If you are trying to become her friend to try to get her attention and interest and push her current relationship along towards its end, kind of like a vulture circling a weak calf, waiting for it to die, you need to ask yourself if that's how you would want to enter a relationship... if that's how you want to spend your time and energy... if that's who you are and who you want to be...
Pedigree Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 My big crushes friend brought me up, to one extent or another, the other day in school when they discussed her current bf. My crush said that she is "Too crazy about her bf to think about anyone else" but what stuck out to me is that she said "She hardly knows me" of course she told this to her friend, so if she didnt like me I think her friend would be an easy person to let know If she didn't like me right now I would have expected, a "no" or "not interested" I would not have expected her to tell her friend that she likes me a lot while she is dating someone else Is her reaction good for me in that it created a huge window of opportunity? Does this mean that getting to know her more is my way of geting anywhere? Keep this in mind, she had a bf for awhile before she had her current bf. Her current bf was in my EXACT spot while she was dating the other guy before. If you understand...So I am hoping/guessing this means I have as much a shot as anyone. Any insight is great. Unfortunately, this is where one has to swallow the bitter pill. I think that when you get to the point of "I know she has a bf, but somehow someway I still have a chance" is where you need to start getting over her. I've been there myself recently and it's going to be hard, but it's either get over her or wait for a long time. In your case, the precedent's there but what are the odds of her suddenly breaking up with a guy she's crazy about?
torranceshipman Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 The girl is crazy about her boyfriend...thats that! She isnt thinking about you, she's thinking about her boyfriend...sorry to be harsh, as you sound like you have the worlds biggest crush on her!-but its true. Move on and date other girls - if it gets to the point where she IS single, then make a move. Right now she is 100% off limits and you need to respect that. I'd say you could establish a friendship in the meantime, but I don't think thats a good idea, as you are WAY too into her - it'd hurt you, and you'd have too much of an agenda that goes way beyond friendship...plus, it can be a bit upsetting to a girl to find out a guy only pulled the whole friends routine just so he stood a chance to get with her.
Author almosthere Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Oh, I guess I didn't mention the "signs." Non stop eye contact, she always has a huge smile when we talk, she laughs at everything I say, she starts conversations with me-where she is usually shy and doesn't with other guys. Also, she was really "in love" with her prior bf too, and only after awhile did she dump him for her current bf. And, she said she thinks she is in love with him, not that they ARE, though I may be splitting hairs there. Hope that helps. Basically, I get a vibe from her different than any other girl. Her good friend told me that I am in the same exact spot as her current bf was in. That she didn't like him much for awhile. He actually stalked her for a good year tbh. Her friend told me to talk more with her and that SHE THINKS things will "progress." I would hope that an honest and forthright friend of both of ours would tell me if she was not interested. And, it may be too personal but tell me this. Wouldn't two kids having sex 1 month or less into a relationship indicate something other than love? Isn't this like the standard case of what teens THINK love is??
jerbear Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 And, it may be too personal but tell me this. Wouldn't two kids having sex 1 month or less into a relationship indicate something other than love? Isn't this like the standard case of what teens THINK love is?? Not really, I almost and would have married her.
Author almosthere Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Not really, I almost and would have married her. Elaborate. Basically she felt this way after they were at that stage. I can swear that this was like the stereotypical teen misconception of what love really is, and that sex that quick usually does not work.
jerbear Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Love requires some sorts of attraction. After that you get something like a relationship. Like I said, I almost married her.
Author almosthere Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Love requires some sorts of attraction. After that you get something like a relationship. Like I said, I almost married her. Whats your AIM sn?
Trimmer Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Oh, I guess I didn't mention the "signs." Non stop eye contact, she always has a huge smile when we talk, she laughs at everything I say, she starts conversations with me-where she is usually shy and doesn't with other guys. Thing #1 To Worry about: her current boyfriend gets jealous and decides to pound you... Her good friend told me that I am in the same exact spot as her current bf was in. That she didn't like him much for awhile. He actually stalked her for a good year tbh. Her friend told me to talk more with her and that SHE THINKS things will "progress." I would hope that an honest and forthright friend of both of ours would tell me if she was not interested. Thing #2 to Worry about: Her "honest and forthright" friend is trying to push her current relationship over a cliff by encouraging you to persue her. How honest and forthright is that? Thing #3 to Worry about: You are effectively describing yourself as a "stalker" here... Also, she was really "in love" with her prior bf too, and only after awhile did she dump him for her current bf. And, she said she thinks she is in love with him, not that they ARE, though I may be splitting hairs there. Thing #4 to Worry about: You are hoping she will continue to follow her pattern of dumping her current bf for someone else she is interested in while the relationship is still going on. If she becomes consistent in this pattern, what is the next logical step that you think will happen if she starts a relationship with you under these circumstances? And, it may be too personal but tell me this. Wouldn't two kids having sex 1 month or less into a relationship indicate something other than love? Isn't this like the standard case of what teens THINK love is?? Wow - did you learn this from the "honest and forthright" friend, or directly from your unfailingly "loyal" crush herself? I think this tells us less about "how in love" they are than we would learn about her from a repeated pattern of dumping behavior. Bottom line: to answer your original question, those "signs" that you didn't mention in your original post (her giving you attention different from everyone else, her "friend's" assurance that things may progress for you) may well mean you "have a shot." But like I say above: think about what that shot means. If it means that she continues her pattern of dumping a current bf for the next flavor of the week, then if you hook up with her, enjoy it while you can (hey, sounds like you're going to want to hang in there for at least a month, right?), but be prepared for the pattern to continue to it's logical point of repetition.
Author almosthere Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Thing #1 To Worry about: her current boyfriend gets jealous and decides to pound you... Thing #2 to Worry about: Her "honest and forthright" friend is trying to push her current relationship over a cliff by encouraging you to persue her. How honest and forthright is that? Thing #3 to Worry about: You are effectively describing yourself as a "stalker" here... Thing #4 to Worry about: You are hoping she will continue to follow her pattern of dumping her current bf for someone else she is interested in while the relationship is still going on. If she becomes consistent in this pattern, what is the next logical step that you think will happen if she starts a relationship with you under these circumstances? Wow - did you learn this from the "honest and forthright" friend, or directly from your unfailingly "loyal" crush herself? I think this tells us less about "how in love" they are than we would learn about her from a repeated pattern of dumping behavior. Bottom line: to answer your original question, those "signs" that you didn't mention in your original post (her giving you attention different from everyone else, her "friend's" assurance that things may progress for you) may well mean you "have a shot." But like I say above: think about what that shot means. If it means that she continues her pattern of dumping a current bf for the next flavor of the week, then if you hook up with her, enjoy it while you can (hey, sounds like you're going to want to hang in there for at least a month, right?), but be prepared for the pattern to continue to it's logical point of repetition. Good post. Her bf is in my school but is only there one period a day, no worries there;) My friend doesnt want to push her relationship over the edge or anything. I think she actually likes her current bf. She doens't regularly dump guys, this is only her second bf in 5 years. I learned the other "info" from my friend, who was told by my crush obviously.
Trimmer Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Good post. Her bf is in my school but is only there one period a day, no worries there;) My friend doesnt want to push her relationship over the edge or anything. I think she actually likes her current bf. She doens't regularly dump guys, this is only her second bf in 5 years. I learned the other "info" from my friend, who was told by my crush obviously. You know, back when I was in school, if I had been lucky enough to have an attractive girl making eyes at me, I probably would have felt the same as you; I do relate... Just be honest with yourself, and keep your eyes open. Be yourself, and instead of making it your goal to "get with her", make it your goal to get to know her, and let her get to know you, the way you really are. Let things go where they may. Good luck.
Jilly Bean Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 What's concerning to me, is that here is a very young girl who goes through serial relationships, where you seem to think she says she's in love with the guy shes dating, yet she dumps him cold, then picks up with someone else immediately afterwards? Why, oh why, would you want to put yourself in her rotation? Remember this - the way they come to you, is the way they go out on you. Don't think for a second if you were with her, that your 15 minutes would be any different than anyone else...
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