honey001 Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 I'm pregnant an my ex left me for his mates...... I've been thinking maybe i should lie to him and say im moving away, would he hurt? would he try and stop me? i just want him to hurt because of how much he has hurt me.' is this a bad idea...... i know that its the wrong thing to do. Alot of people say no your be fine just move on.... but how can you, when your pregnant with his child, and you have something constantly reminding you everyday of him.... i love my unborne child but he has hurt me so much... i just want to see how much he really cares or see if the thought of me moving away would hurt and make him realise what he is loosing! I know in my heart he cares but he just has an issue with showing his feelings, and I know he will hurt if i do this, but i should i carry on hurting and feeling down and out all the time.... if i just know that he's feeling just as down as me, then i can deal with it.... but all i see in my head is him going out getting pissed with his mates and having a good time when im at home 8mths pregnant and wandering why this has happened, and if i did something wrong? if im attractive enough? so many questions and confussion going on in my head... So is lieing to him so that i really know how he feels the best thing to do?????????
Ocean-Blue Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 I'm pregnant an my ex left me for his mates...... I've been thinking maybe i should lie to him and say im moving away, would he hurt? would he try and stop me? i just want him to hurt because of how much he has hurt me.' is this a bad idea...... i know that its the wrong thing to do. Alot of people say no your be fine just move on.... but how can you, when your pregnant with his child, and you have something constantly reminding you everyday of him.... i love my unborne child but he has hurt me so much... i just want to see how much he really cares or see if the thought of me moving away would hurt and make him realise what he is loosing! I know in my heart he cares but he just has an issue with showing his feelings, and I know he will hurt if i do this, but i should i carry on hurting and feeling down and out all the time.... if i just know that he's feeling just as down as me, then i can deal with it.... but all i see in my head is him going out getting pissed with his mates and having a good time when im at home 8mths pregnant and wandering why this has happened, and if i did something wrong? if im attractive enough? so many questions and confussion going on in my head... So is lieing to him so that i really know how he feels the best thing to do????????? You have to first figure out if you want this man in your child's life. If you decide that you do, then you have to approach this from a more selfless position. By virtue of carrying his child, you can no longer think as a single woman wanting to get back at her not-so-nice ex. There is a child involved - you are going to have to be mature in your approach. For the sake of the baby (and it's emotional health) you need to sort your feelings for your ex out BEFORE his/her arrival. Rather than focus on what would get him to miss you, maybe you might consider having an adult conversation with him (where you are honest about your feelings and your wishes for your shared, unborn child).
michael d Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 good advice there from "ocean-blue". i would also say, actually move if you want to. it may help to give you a fresh outlook and aid in your getting over him, IF that's what you want. but lying about moving will accomplish nothing. don't move to try to change his feelings. talk to him honestly and be honest with yourself. if he is the right one for you, he will realize what he has with you. if not, you have your whole life ahead of you and a child as well. not to be harsh, but you do not need him to be happy. be happy with yourself and your new friend inside of you. life will be great, and he will either see the love and embrace it, or someone else will appear in your life who will be better for you and your child. stay positive. mike d
norajane Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 but all i see in my head is him going out getting pissed with his mates and having a good time when im at home 8mths pregnant and wandering why this has happened, and if i did something wrong? if im attractive enough? so many questions and confussion going on in my head... The only thing you did "wrong" was to be having a baby with a guy who is not ready to be a father. What I'm trying to say is, it's not you, and it's not that you aren't attractive enough. The problem is with him. He is not ready for the responsibility of becoming a father, and doesn't want to give up his lifestyle of going drinking with his friends whenever he wants and doing whatever he wants whenever he wants. He could be scared, or he could just be totally selfish. But it's not that you did anything wrong. So is lieing to him so that i really know how he feels the best thing to do????????? No, lying is never the best way to do anything. If you want him to be honest with you, you have to be honest with him. Did he tell you why he broke up with you?
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