London Girl Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Hi all, I never thought I could like someone after my ex who I was devasted over when we ended! I met this new guy on a dating site and we have been together for about 5 weeks. He initiated all the dates and when we are together he is all lovey dovey and telling me how beautiful I am etc., constantly kissing me etc. and we finally slept together after one month of dating. I began to fall for him and let my guard down in the last week but I'm abit concerned now and need some advice. He is still on the dating site as when he signed up he did so for 3 months although he said he cancelled his renewal option. Surely if he was into me he would cancel his membership? I know he has not logged on for about 2 weeks but I noticed that he logged on twice this week which is confusing me since if he was into me he would not even log on right? We are meeting up this Saturday at his suggestion. I know he wants to take things slowly but do you think once a week is okay, we only spoke on the phone once a week too but we have been emailing every day. I just scared of getting hurt again if he is stringing me along or perhaps I am over analyzing this and not sure if I should be honest with him and tell him how I feel but I'm worried that by doing that I will come across clingy and scare him off. Perhaps he thinks that I am not that into him since I was hesitate in going on a second date with him when he asked me the first time we met and I've kept my guard up a little when I've been with him. Any advice would be gratefully appreciated. Thank you and happy thanksgiving.
Pyro Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Before you take this any further, you need to ask him where he stands in regards to you and him. Surely if he was really into you, he would have cancelled that membership. Communication is the key.
Author London Girl Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Thanks Riddler. He has 2 months left of his membership and he told me he cancelled his renewal option - he might be just checking his account out of curosity to see who has been emailing him but the fact that he has logged on twice this week is making me feel insecure. I know communication is key and I do want to ask him how he feels about me but I don't want to come across heavy and scare him off. I did ask him what he liked about me on our second date and he said I was alot of fun and he really fancies me. It was all him at the beginning and he seemed really keen, may be he is just wary and keeping his options open because I have been keeping my guard up a little. I sent him a text last night, it was the first time that he had not initated any contact so I sent him that text to which he did reply 20 mins later and he ended his text with lots of kisses. I am so confused.
Pyro Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Thanks Riddler. He has 2 months left of his membership and he told me he cancelled his renewal option - he might be just checking his account out of curosity to see who has been emailing him but the fact that he has logged on twice this week is making me feel insecure. I know communication is key and I do want to ask him how he feels about me but I don't want to come across heavy and scare him off. I did ask him what he liked about me on our second date and he said I was alot of fun and he really fancies me. It was all him at the beginning and he seemed really keen, may be he is just wary and keeping his options open because I have been keeping my guard up a little. I sent him a text last night, it was the first time that he had not initated any contact so I sent him that text to which he did reply 20 mins later and he ended his text with lots of kisses. I am so confused. Hmmmmmm, this is a tricky one. I just don't see why he would still go on the site even after meeting someone. Thats cool that he wants to take things slow, but talking on the phone once a week is stretching it IMO. Asking him where the two of you stand will not make you come across as being needy. If that is true, then I guess everyone in a relationship is needy. All I can tell you is that actions speak louder than words.
marley_86 Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 London Girl, you are also on the dating websites if you can see when he's online. I think you guys need to have a talk.
LifesontheUp Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Could it be that he is checking whether you are still active on there? and he can see you are by the fact that you know he has been on? I think you need to have a chat with him.
heartoutside Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 I don't know which site your new BF signed up for, but I have read that several sites will keep members listed on their sites even after they cancel their membership because it allows for the site too look like they still have millions of members; one of the many reasons I've never signed up for any of them. So he may have canceled the membership but the site just hasn't taken him off for that reason. Just talk to him.
Author London Girl Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Thanks guys. I cancelled my membership which eventually expired anyway as I only had signed up for one month - he signed up for 3 months and has 2 months left but he cancelled his auto renewal which means after his 2 months, his membership will be terminated. He knows I had cancelled my membership and I no longer have my profile on the site so he is definitely not checking on my profile. I am getting mixed opinions on this. Some say we have only been dating for 5 weeks so it is still early days and he is doing nothing wrong but I cannot help but worry as I have been hurt before and I do not want to go down the same road. I want to tell him that this bothers me but I'm scared by doing so it might scare him off. So complicated. Surely if he was that interested in me he just would let his profile run its course until the 2 months is up but why does has he logged on twice this week which is confusing me!
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