Zona76 Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren.
Citizen Erased Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Does she not like your husband? That could have an effect on her seeing it as disgusting or whatever, in front of her or children
Trialbyfire Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 While something affectionate like that wouldn't bother me with my parents, sometimes kids just don't want to know that their mother is playing hacky sack with anyone, affectionate gesture or not. I'm guessing your daughter wasn't raised with PDA around the house, so she will be raising her children the same way.
Author Zona76 Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 I am more alert now to view public affectionate displays. Although I turn my head away it's out of respect over disgust. I love to see the non-teenage groups that still can kiss in public, that don't fear reprimands. And most of all I love to show the world that people over 50 can still be hot for each other. AND ha ha ha admittedly enjoy the stares.
Lovegod Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Did she ever see you do this when she was growing up? If not, it's probably just weird for her. I know how gross it is to see my parents display any kind of affection. Well, I haven't seen any for about ten years, but that's beside the point
IpAncA Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? Don't you think your taking this WAY too personal? Sounds like she's just not comfortable with it and I understand where she's coming from. At least you don't do what my parents use to do when I was around. There's images I wish I could pay someone to wipe out. My signature comment was "get a room."
Ariadne Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 ~ And most of all I love to show the world that people over 50 can still be hot for each other. ~ She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? ~ this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again ~ I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. ~ Including those of the grandchildren. --------- Eww.... poor your daugther. Yikes! Ariadne
Curmudgeon Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 My wife and I are decidedly over 50 and hold hand when we walk. May have remarked that our obvious love for one another (yes, even in light of my recent posts about it) can light up a room even if we're just standing next to one another. But that's pretty much where we draw the line publicly. If you didn't have this kind of closeness with your daughter's father in her memory then I can see where it might disturb her for you to display it with someone else. It's not that she begrudges you your happ[iness. It simply makes her uncomfortable and that's perfectly understandable and valid. Knowing that I would advise reeling it in. Hand holding is one thing. Then there's the rest!
Pirouette Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 What is your relationship with your daughter like? Can you not sit down and speak to her directly about it. You described her as sneering in your ear, which is a terrible image and a terrible way of feeling about your family. I'm in my 20s (just out of the teenage group!) and me and the boyfriend hold hands everywhere and give each other the occasional kiss. I would talk to my parents or my brothers if they ever made a comment like that to me. If I didn't feel like I could talk to them, then that's a whole other set of problems and I would respect their wishes and do what I want everywhere else. I probably wouldn't even care if I saw them, but perhaps cherished children would be worth the discomfort?
Author Zona76 Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 So I don't feel like her parent. She'd never take a suggestion of mine if I offered. She's a grown woman over 30. I suppose that I was hoping to have her as a friend. She helped me divorce from her Dad. Wrong of me. I don't have anything to do with her much. She grew up and changed and hates who I am because I don't spend money. Can't see what good it's doing sitting in the bank. She's frivolous. Buys things then tosses them in the trash rather than returning to the store. She's taken advantage of me and since I decided to say "NO" there is a difference. I wont have my future, my savings and pension taken away because she wants to redecorate or "needs" a new gold bracelet. She doesn't resent my husband. She just can't see old folks being happy. That's sad when you think of it. Life goes on. I have my life now I have love.
Trialbyfire Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 Your daughter is a product of her environment. Can the two of you not sit down and discuss your past resentments, perhaps hash them out to the point where both of you can be more accepting of each other? Is she truly happy in her life, that she can be happy for you? Don't you want your daughter back?
shadowplay Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 Honestly, I feel bad for your daughter. It doesn't sound like you care about her much.
PWSX3 Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 I am a few years from being 50 but me & the W still hold hands, crab each others butts once in a while. Our 17-7/8 yr. old son doesn't mind but he has been kind of embarrassed if some of his friends are around so we don't get crazy when his friends are around anymore, but I really don't see anything wrong with having fun when you get old. Tell your daughter; hey I still got it & if you don't like it then don't look. It also sounds like there might be a deeper reason why she said that.
allina Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 So I don't feel like her parent. She'd never take a suggestion of mine if I offered. She's a grown woman over 30. Life goes on. I have my life now I have love. OMG! Are you serious!? Honestly, I feel bad for your daughter. It doesn't sound like you care about her much. I agree 100% The daughter was probably kidding to start with, like "ah mom cut it out!" Wow, this post is full of :eek::eek:
White Flower Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren. She may not be used to it, but needs to get used to it now because it is who you are and what makes you happy. I got a carress ONCE last night and dat was it! No wonder we've got probs. Write her a note and tell her how you felt and that you don't want it getting between you and her and the holidays. Good luck. And congrats and the new and wonderful relationship.
White Flower Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren. She may not be used to it, but needs to get used to it now because it is who you are and what makes you happy. I got a carress ONCE last night and dat was it! No wonder we've got probs. Write her a note and tell her how you felt and that you don't want it getting between you and her and the holidays. Good luck. And congrats and the new and wonderful relationship.
White Flower Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren. She may not be used to it, but needs to get used to it now because it is who you are and what makes you happy. I got a carress ONCE last night and dat was it! No wonder we've got probs. Write her a note and tell her how you felt and that you don't want it getting between you and her and the holidays. Good luck. And congrats and the new and wonderful relationship.
White Flower Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren. She may not be used to it, but needs to get used to it now because it is who you are and what makes you happy. I got a carress ONCE last night and dat was it! No wonder we've got probs. Write her a note and tell her how you felt and that you don't want it getting between you and her and the holidays. Good luck. And congrats and the new and wonderful relationship.
White Flower Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren. She may not be used to it, but needs to get used to it now because it is who you are and what makes you happy. I got a carress ONCE last night and dat was it! No wonder we've got probs. Write her a note and tell her how you felt and that you don't want it getting between you and her and the holidays. Good luck. And congrats and the new and wonderful relationship.
White Flower Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren. She may not be used to it, but needs to get used to it now because it is who you are and what makes you happy. I got a carress ONCE last night and dat was it! No wonder we've got probs. Write her a note and tell her how you felt and that you don't want it getting between you and her and the holidays. Good luck. And congrats and the new and wonderful relationship.
RamChops Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 Evidently the "kid" your daughter is concerned about is herself ... if, as you say, she helped you with the divorce from her father why is she averse to your new love? Does she think he'll get/has his hands on what she's entitled to? Money does change people's attitudes ... Looking merely at the "public display of affection" that you've described, merely cuddling up to someone you love, it is perfectly harmless, and isn't it better to have affectionate people around developing children than distant, unloving couples ... the children then later in life turning around and accusing their parents and family of not displaying any love for each other ... I know what sort of family I'd rather be around, and the environment I'd have my children grow up in. Off-topic ... White Flower, looks like you got a bit anxious hitting "submit" - either that or you got FIVE caresses last night
White Flower Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 Yes, count em' ladies n gents: 5, I repeat, 5 displays of affection! I'm now afraid to post this due to another technical failure. Sorry, Zona:)
allina Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 Yes, count em' ladies n gents: 5, I repeat, 5 displays of affection! I'm now afraid to post this due to another technical failure. Sorry, Zona:) I counted 6
Ocean-Blue Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 If you know my story I found LOVE later in life. I never had the hand holding snuggly dates in my teens. Yes we stop and kiss frequently when walking. We gaze into each others eyes and listen when the other speaks. And we both still flirt with each other. My friends and family know how I am and how this love has changed my entire life. Or so I thought... Now you have the picture let me explain something that happened today that shocked me. At my adult daughters home was the big family dinner thing. She has a large extended family. Her first husbands relatives and on to her present one...After Dinner, we gathered to play games. Not enough seats in the living room; so many people my husband and I sat on the floor side by side. Robert pulls his arm over my shoulder as we were ALL crunched close together... I lean my head on his shoulder(it's been a long day) then my daughter reaches down and sneers into my ear. "Knock it off Mom there's kids around!" Whoa! We weren't sitting there making out. We didn't even kiss once at this gathering. She's not a prude. Why does this make me NOT want to go back to visit with her again? I wanted to leave Robert said, "No, it's too early yet. We can't leave this soon." This will blow over. It will be forgotten. But it disturbs me how I know what she really feels. She doesn't like to see me happy? or What? Did she think I was going to start ripping his clothes off in front of 30 people? I seriously feel I will bow out from any future parties or gatherings. Including those of the grandchildren. Zona, I can understand why you'd feel so upset. I'd feel the exact same way if a family member made this comment to me. Your daughter was overreacting (for what reason, I don't know). I think it's a shame that people don't show more affection when they are around family. Of course, one should always maintain decorum, but a little affection can be a wonderful thing. Children pick up on such things and internalize it - seeing their mother and father (or grandparents) hold each other or show love for one another (via a quick peck on the cheek or whatnot) provide them with positive feedback on love, relationships and affection. You'd be hard pressed to find adults who are "messed up" because they repeatedly witnessed their grandparents hug each other or lean on one another at family gatherings. That said, I don't think throwing your hands up in the air and wanting to boycott events at your daughter's is really going to help things. You should gently tell her that what she said hurt you very much (and that you found it to be insulting and inconsiderate). Listen to what she has to say... If you are still not satisfied, THEN make a decision... But for now, just talk to her. You may find that she regrets saying what she did.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 So I don't feel like her parent. She'd never take a suggestion of mine if I offered. She's a grown woman over 30. I suppose that I was hoping to have her as a friend. She helped me divorce from her Dad. Wrong of me. I don't have anything to do with her much. She grew up and changed and hates who I am because I don't spend money. Can't see what good it's doing sitting in the bank. She's frivolous. Buys things then tosses them in the trash rather than returning to the store. She's taken advantage of me and since I decided to say "NO" there is a difference. I wont have my future, my savings and pension taken away because she wants to redecorate or "needs" a new gold bracelet. She doesn't resent my husband. She just can't see old folks being happy. That's sad when you think of it. Life goes on. I have my life now I have love. OK, I just read this post now... Don't you think you're being a tad harsh on your daughter? I mean, yes, you have a new love and he makes you happy...but SHE is your DAUGHTER! Surely that means you can try just a tad, no? Why toss her aside like she meant nothing? Could it be that she resents any intimacy b/w your new husband and you because she feels she didn't get much of it from you? Were you affectionate/loving with her when she was a child? Maybe all of this "lovey dovey" stuff is new to her - sort of like, "what the hell is that? I never got that...ewww stop that!" Your posts suggest that you're very annoyed/angry with your daughter - to a point where you're willing to walk away from her. If that's the case, she can probably sense this is and is especially sensitive to anything and everything you do. I know when I get upset at my mom, I nitpick and call her out on everything. Your daughter may be doing the same thing.
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