Author Curmudgeon Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Be patient and gentle. You will get through this too! ...my middle names! Yeah! I'll/we'll get through this, somehow, I'm sure. She's decidedly not going to let go and I'm not convinced I want to.
RecordProducer Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Just don't drop the D word. When you get a rain of D's, the marriage inevitably goes spirally downhill. That's what happened in my marriage. Show a positive attitude on working things out. Put effort into understanding her. Sometimes all women want is to be understood on a deep level. Bury the axes and approach her with love and compassion. It's so easy to deal with women; just show love and affection. I can't believe guys don't get it. I wish you men had a one-button system that worked with you.
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 It's so easy to deal with women; just show love and affection. I can't believe guys don't get it. I wish you men had a one-button system that worked with you. Where would the challenge be if we all worked alike? Not to worry. No "D" word. I'd only say it if I meant it and meant it right then, in which case I'd immediately act upon it. There is no understanding her. She's a woman!
Touche Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 There is no understanding her. She's a woman! Hey, I resemble...err, I resent that remark!
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Hey, I resemble...err, I resent that remark! You're ALL woman!
Touche Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 You're ALL woman! Ha ha! Not sure how to take that! I joke a lot with H about that. I often say that I'm the MAN and he's the WOMAN in our relationship. I don't really know the truth of that...it just seems to work somehow.
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Ha ha! Not sure how to take that! I joke a lot with H about that. I often say that I'm the MAN and he's the WOMAN in our relationship. I don't really know the truth of that...it just seems to work somehow. If you're the alpha-female, he takes second seat if he knows what's good for him. It can work very well. Man consentrates on and takes care of his career and provides income. Woman takes care of all the rest.
Touche Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 If you're the alpha-female, he takes second seat if he knows what's good for him. It can work very well. Man consentrates on and takes care of his career and provides income. Woman takes care of all the rest. Yes, it's kind of the way it is. But I make all the financial decisions pretty much. I also, was the one to push him to go out on his own as far as having his own practice and not working for someone else. He's thanked me a million times over for that. He was scared to do it...as was I. But I knew if I had to go back to work to make that work I would....and that I could support us since we live under our means. It all worked out though. I'm not sure that he takes a "second seat" though. I mean I am the leader in the relationship but he has strong ideas of his own. He's vetoed my ideas here and there...just not that often. I can be quite convincing. Plus I've usually been right! And he knows it. Ha ha!
Ariadne Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Man consentrates on and takes care of his career and provides income. Woman takes care of all the rest. I want a man just like that! Just like that! I also, was the one to push him to go out on his own as far as having his own practice and not working for someone else. He's thanked me a million times over for that... He's vetoed my ideas here and there...just not that often. I can be quite convincing. Plus I've usually been right! I know! If I were a man I'd want a woman just like Touche! Just like that! She's cool, and beautiful, and shrewed, and what a woman. Ariadne
Touche Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I want a man just like that! Just like that! I know! If I were a man I'd want a woman just like Touche! Just like that! She's cool, and beautiful, and shrewed, and what a woman. Ariadne Aww, thank you, you crazy Latin Woman! You're one in a million and you will find a man who realizes that one day. You will. I know it.
Art_Critic Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 C... I'm glad it is going better.. there is nothing like venting when you are involved with someone who is bipolar. even with medication.. It seems to me that what you felt was more on the lines of just getting tired of dealing with some of the bipolar issues and you dropped your guard some and possibly treated her like someone who doesn't have bipolar swings.. You then went back onto the reality track and are now compensating for her.. Having lived with and been married to someone who was diagnosed as a BPD and then a few years later on Bipolar I can understand what you deal with.. You seem to be able to handle it and are much more forgiving than I ever was..I guess that is why you both have made it 11 years... I'm glad you both are back on track..
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 C... I'm glad it is going better.. there is nothing like venting when you are involved with someone who is bipolar. even with medication.. It seems to me that what you felt was more on the lines of just getting tired of dealing with some of the bipolar issues and you dropped your guard some and possibly treated her like someone who doesn't have bipolar swings.. You then went back onto the reality track and are now compensating for her.. Having lived with and been married to someone who was diagnosed as a BPD and then a few years later on Bipolar I can understand what you deal with.. You seem to be able to handle it and are much more forgiving than I ever was..I guess that is why you both have made it 11 years... I'm glad you both are back on track.. Didn't realize how much I needed to vent but obviously, it was a lot. Too bad I started it with such a negative prediction. You're right about the BP. Sometimes I forget what a toll it takes on my wife and permit it to take a toll on us. Thanks for pointing me back in the right direction. All that being said, and meant, I'll never be comfortable with her "the past was perfect" approach but I'll have to live with it if I want to continue to have her in my life. Thus far, that's the status.
burning 4 revenge Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 Wow, women stay evil right up until the end. I guess Im not surprised
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 I want a man just like that! Just like that! I know! If I were a man I'd want a woman just like Touche! Just like that! She's cool, and beautiful, and shrewed, and what a woman. Ariadne Does that mean you're an alpha-woman, Ariadne? I think a lot of us men have elements of that in us but there are other facets to us as well. I work, make a good living, bring it all home, pay the bills, handle the major investments and savings and my wife, now that she's retired, takes care of the home as well as saving and investing some of her pension. Before she retired the household needs were evenly split between us. Are you saying that the man should work, earn and turn it all over to the woman? Just curious. Would even be more curious to know where you'd find one like that who could still be considered a man. You're right on all counts about Touché. Quite remarkable, isn't she?
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 Wow, women stay evil right up until the end. I guess Im not surprised All the ones you know, and are they all dead now?
burning 4 revenge Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 All the ones you know, and are they all dead now? I dont know what that means
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 I dont know what that means ...all the ones you knew, stay evil right up until the end (death)?
Touche Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 No, not Denver Guy, Ariadne..sorry. That's clearly not meant to be. You'll have better. Curm, my H's ex was also diagnosed with BPD. He always told me that she suffered from "the grass is always greener syndrome." I'm telling you that for whatever it's worth. B4R, you're an idiot. That's why you'll never find a woman. But I still love you for some odd reason. I'd rather die than date a man like you though. So glad I'm not single... Phewww.
burning 4 revenge Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 No, not Denver Guy, Ariadne..sorry. That's clearly not meant to be. You'll have better. Curm, my H's ex was also diagnosed with BPD. He always told me that she suffered from "the grass is always greener syndrome." I'm telling you that for whatever it's worth. B4R, you're an idiot. That's why you'll never find a woman. But I still love you for some odd reason. I'd rather die than date a man like you though. So glad I'm not single... Phewww. What does your marital status have to do with it? If you were single do you think most of the single men would be like me? Theres only one of me in the world
burning 4 revenge Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 ...all the ones you knew, stay evil right up until the end (death)? It just seems that women don't change their selfish nature no matter their stage in life. My latest theory is that its genital. Women are basically a needy hole waiting to be filled
Author Curmudgeon Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 My latest theory is that its genital. Women are basically a needy hole waiting to be filled ...you can't get within arm's length of one.
2sunny Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 It just seems that women don't change their selfish nature no matter their stage in life. My latest theory is that its genital. Women are basically a needy hole waiting to be filled WOW - that's harsh! I would NEVER describe myself anything like that!
Touche Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 What does your marital status have to do with it? If you were single do you think most of the single men would be like me? Theres only one of me in the world What does my marital status have to do with it? Ha ha! Are you serious? Yes, most of the single men I dated were much like you, actually. Yeah, there's only one of you...right. Yes.
burning 4 revenge Posted November 25, 2007 Posted November 25, 2007 WOW - that's harsh! I would NEVER describe myself anything like that! :laugh:
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