SusanChess Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 Ok, this is about the same poor guy. We both seem to have feelings for each other, but every time he tries to get close to me I push him away. The latest fiasco was me asking him for homework help, and me failing to call when I said I would. Twice. This has been going on for several years now. Is it time for me to just admit to him what's holding me back? I've told him that I have a very hard time trusting people, and he knows that there's a reason why that I'm not telling him. A big part of the reason is that my old boss at the job I had right before he and I met knew I'd developed a crush on him and basically encouraged it for months before finally telling me that there was no way he could feel that way about me. Then he became emotionally abusive for months after that until I finally attempted suicide. (He fired me and I landed in my current job immediately afterward.) He already knows I've attempted suicide before, and he even had to intervene once when he thought I was about to try again, so I'm not too concerned about him being freaked out about that part of it. I think that this could be an important piece of information for him for several reasons. First, it would be a warning not to flirt with me if he turns out not to have feelings for me. Second, it explains a lot of my past behaviors as simply trying not to get hurt again. Third, he should understand why I've drawn the parallel in this situation because he hasn't officially said either way himself and he too used to be my manager at one time. (No, we don't work together anymore.) Thoughts?
HarakIgia Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 Hi, Why not protect yourself by being honest? Just put it out there that you want to know how he feels. You've been through so much. And no man or relationship is worth ending your life. I'm in the process of losing the love of my life. We've known eachother for 22yrs. But, he's changed and no longer values being in a committed relationship. He's into do as you like when you like it with whom you like. So, you can imagine the pain I'm in. It's been devastating. I would be lieing if I said it hasn't crossed my mind how simple it would be to hurt myself and end the pain. But, then I think of all the people that truly love me. Like my kids, my mom, my brother and friends. I can't allow one guy who has his own issues ruin my life. Please take your time and don't let anyone play mind games with you. Be upfront and take the initiative to protect yourself. If he's interested he should tell you. If you're not ready tell him. Did you get any help to get past what happened with the other guy? Because I've heard that we tend to keep choosing the guys that we have unfinished business with. So, if you didn't learn your lesson with the past relationship this new one may be similar. I hope that makes sense. Anyways, I hope he can be honest. Please take good care of yourself and remember that loving yourself first is the key. Then you'll be certain to pick the guys that will do the same anything less would be unacceptable to you. Wishing you only the best:) Happy Thanksgiving.
Author SusanChess Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Thanks HarakIgia! Does anyone else have any thoughts?
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