Looking for a guy

[LivA79]

I'm looking for a guy with the following:

 

1. Finished college.

2. Working successfully at his career.

3. Conscious about his finances, credit, etc.

4. Late 20s, very early 30s.

5. Has not been in a serious or really long-term relationship yet (2 years or less).

6. Choose to be single because he wanted to play the field. 43

 

I'm not looking for a guy like this for a relationship. I'm just interested in guys with these characteristics to ask them some questions. For example: 1.) Why did you choose not to be in a relationship? 2.) If you met the right girl, would you want a long-term relationship. 3.) If you met this girl, but part of you still wanted to play the field some, would you give up your relationship or just keeping thinking of what you could have?

 

I want to find someone who will be hardcore honest with me, not feed me a line of BS or tell me things that a girl wants to hear.

 

The purpose of this is because I've talked to guys older, some younger, some successful and some not. I haven't talked to guys around my age with the above-mentioned characteristics. I'm just curious to figure out how those guys think, feel, what determines their course of action, what would hinder them from doing something, etc.

 

If you would like to correspond, email me or send a message here.

 

Thanks

[Lovegod]

Hey, it's this thread again. Welcome back to 5 hours ago!

[Zona76]

You honestly don't want a guy then do you?

I mean seriously... Some stranger walks up and asks you how much is your net worth? Are you going to be honest?

Relationships begin. Friendships start.

If you were to ask all this of any stranger and expect an honest answer... you are not of this planet!

 

Oops sorry, I just read your message again and see this is purely for research.

[LivA79]

Hey, it's this thread again. Welcome back to 5 hours ago!

 

Yeah, well, I couldn't getting any serious responses on the other one, so thought I would try here.

[LivA79]

You honestly don't want a guy then do you?

I mean seriously... Some stranger walks up and asks you how much is your net worth? Are you going to be honest?

Relationships begin. Friendships start.

If you were to ask all this of any stranger and expect an honest answer... you are not of this planet!

 

Oops sorry, I just read your message again and see this is purely for research.

 

Guys that have those kind of priorities have a different personality than Joe Dirt at a convenient store.

[Lovegod]

If you like, I could point you to where happy, single men exist. Got an email address? I'll send you the link

 

Too bad they got rid of the PM system on here.

[LivA79]

If you like, I could point you to where happy, single men exist. Got an email address? I'll send you the link

 

Too bad they got rid of the PM system on here.

 

At this point, I'll settle for a guy that:

 

1. Physically conscious.

2. Financially conscious.

3. Not sure if he is ready for a relationship or not.

[Lovegod]

Again, I can point you in the right direction. You won't have to settle for a minimalized list of qualifications. However, I can't completely guarantee finishing college. You're most likely going to get entrepreneurs.

[LivA79]

Again, I can point you in the right direction. You won't have to settle for a minimalized list of qualifications. However, I can't completely guarantee finishing college. You're most likely going to get entrepreneurs.

 

Damn, I can't believe it's this hard, LOL. It's okay. I'll try to search another site or something.

 

Thanks.

[Zona76]

lovegod, the PM's work... you have to activate it. Did you used to have PM in LS? If so it's done the same way.

[Lovegod]

Oh, well f\/ck me sideways and call me a whoremaster!

 

I thought they made it so you have to pay for it. Some Mod must've got pissed off with the PMs I was responding to, so they shut it off for me. wouldn't surprise me.

 

Anyway, PM is on the way!

[Lovegod]

LivA79, turn your goddam Private Messages on! It's under "My Profile / CP"

[LivA79]

LivA79, turn your goddam Private Messages on! It's under "My Profile / CP"

 

When I do, it says I can't. Guess I'm not established enough.

[Lovegod]

Well that's freakin' gay! That's probably why I had it for a while, and then it got turned off.

 

....Just did a forum search. Apparently, you get privelaged after 50 or 100 posts. So just bump this thread like 50 times and you can PM me

[LivA79]

Well that's freakin' gay! That's probably why I had it for a while, and then it got turned off.

 

....Just did a forum search. Apparently, you get privelaged after 50 or 100 posts. So just bump this thread like 50 times and you can PM me

 

Yeah, I guess I'll give some advice.

[scratch]

I'm looking for a guy with the following:

 

1. Finished college.

2. Working successfully at his career.

3. Conscious about his finances, credit, etc.

4. Late 20s, very early 30s.

5. Has not been in a serious or really long-term relationship yet (2 years or less).

6. Choose to be single because he wanted to play the field. 43

 

I'm just curious to figure out how those guys think, feel, what determines their course of action, what would hinder them from doing something, etc.

 

I fit your qualifications, based on my own self-assessment, for whatever that's worth. To your questions:

 

1.) Why did you choose not to be in a relationship?

 

The incremental benefits available in a serious, committed relationship are not worth the costs. Monogamy isn't important - a sex buddy and I once discussed jealousy, and her opinion was that my ego prevented me from being jealous about the thought of her being with other men. Also, while I enjoy stability, I think stability has everything to do with your ability to make a dating situation fun, and nothing to do with a verbal agreement of exclusivity.

 

Moreover, financial interdependence is lose-lose for me. I'm in a position where I really wouldn't benefit from dating a financially successful woman, but dating someone for whom I'd have to provide would drastically cut into my ability to save.

 

Finally, I want to come and go as I please. The idea of being temporally accountable to another person on a daily basis, and having to juggle an already crowded schedule, is unpleasant. A weekly date works best for me.

 

2.) If you met the right girl, would you want a long-term relationship.

 

No. However, if I liked someone enough I'd negotiate with them to arrive at mutually acceptable terms for a relationship. There's just never been a girl I've liked (as an adult) to the point where I genuinely preferred to date them with all kinds of strings instead of dating them with the option to see other people.

 

Two examples of long term relationships into which I entered - I was engaged to be in an open marriage, and I lived with a woman where sex with other women was okay as long as we were both involved.

 

3.) If you met this girl, but part of you still wanted to play the field some, would you give up your relationship or just keeping thinking of what you could have?

 

If I liked her enough I would probably agree to be monogamous. Hell, if I liked someone enough, there's no limit to the extent I'd capitulate to her terms, but that's more of a theoretical point than a practical one. She'd have to be hotter, more successful and more entertaining than the overwhelming majority of the women I date, and I'm pretty sure beer would have to come out of her nipples.

[LivA79]

YES, FINALLY!!!! You are definitely the guy I'm looking for!!!

 

1. So, have you ever had a long-term, exclusive relationship?

2. When you were in school did you date a lot, or were you too focused on your education? If so, do you feel that you have to make up for lost time, in so many words?

3. You seem to like your freedom to sleep or date other women. Is there a reason for this?

4. Hypothetically speaking, if you meet a girl that is hotter, more successful, and sex is better than other women you have dated, but with no beer coming from her nipples, would that change you opinion of being monogamous or giving up other women? Is having different women much more appealing?

5. What if this girl said inviting other women into your sex life was fine once you guys got into a comfortable state in your relationship, how would this affect your decision about this woman?

 

Again, please be honest. Don't worry about offending me or other women, it's just a curiosity on my part.

[shadowplay]

I fit your qualifications, based on my own self-assessment, for whatever that's worth. To your questions:

 

 

 

The incremental benefits available in a serious, committed relationship are not worth the costs. Monogamy isn't important - a sex buddy and I once discussed jealousy, and her opinion was that my ego prevented me from being jealous about the thought of her being with other men. Also, while I enjoy stability, I think stability has everything to do with your ability to make a dating situation fun, and nothing to do with a verbal agreement of exclusivity.

 

Moreover, financial interdependence is lose-lose for me. I'm in a position where I really wouldn't benefit from dating a financially successful woman, but dating someone for whom I'd have to provide would drastically cut into my ability to save.

 

Finally, I want to come and go as I please. The idea of being temporally accountable to another person on a daily basis, and having to juggle an already crowded schedule, is unpleasant. A weekly date works best for me.

 

 

 

No. However, if I liked someone enough I'd negotiate with them to arrive at mutually acceptable terms for a relationship. There's just never been a girl I've liked (as an adult) to the point where I genuinely preferred to date them with all kinds of strings instead of dating them with the option to see other people.

 

Two examples of long term relationships into which I entered - I was engaged to be in an open marriage, and I lived with a woman where sex with other women was okay as long as we were both involved.

 

 

 

If I liked her enough I would probably agree to be monogamous. Hell, if I liked someone enough, there's no limit to the extent I'd capitulate to her terms, but that's more of a theoretical point than a practical one. She'd have to be hotter, more successful and more entertaining than the overwhelming majority of the women I date, and I'm pretty sure beer would have to come out of her nipples.

 

LOL

[Lovegod]

LOL

I'm really trying to figure out what's funny about that? He makes some fantastic points.

 

LivA79, if you want more responses like this, set up a toss-away email and I'll help you out.

[LivA79]

I'm really trying to figure out what's funny about that? He makes some fantastic points.

 

LivA79, if you want more responses like this, set up a toss-away email and I'll help you out.

 

Okay, try this one. [email protected]

[scratch]

YES, FINALLY!!!! You are definitely the guy I'm looking for!!!

 

Again, please be honest. Don't worry about offending me or other women, it's just a curiosity on my part.

 

Glad to help. If I may offer a pair of constructive criticisms, read my answers carefully before asking me a follow-up I've already answered. And, a second (even a first) reminder to "be honest" is a little insulting.

 

1. So, have you ever had a long-term, exclusive relationship?

 

Depends on your definition. I listed two instances where I had what I considered serious relationships. The last time I had a typical average relationship was at 22. I'm 31 now.

 

2. When you were in school did you date a lot, or were you too focused on your education? If so, do you feel that you have to make up for lost time, in so many words?

 

I dated plenty when I was in school, about the same amount I do now. School isn't any more time consuming than work; in fact, significantly less so.

 

Not having time and being focused on education are excuses people use for turning someone in whom they aren't interested down, or rationalizations they use when they aren't as socially successful as they'd like to be.

 

3. You seem to like your freedom to sleep or date other women. Is there a reason for this?

 

Do you realize you just asked me if there's a reason I like having freedom? Perhaps you meant to ask "why do I like this freedom so much?" The answer to the latter is that, because I don't wish my partners to be monogamous, I'm not willing to sacrifice my own pleasure to extract that commitment.

 

4. Hypothetically speaking, if you meet a girl that is hotter, more successful, and sex is better than other women you have dated, but with no beer coming from her nipples, would that change you opinion of being monogamous or giving up other women? Is having different women much more appealing?

 

No beer nipples, huh? You drive a hard bargain.

 

Kidding aside, I don't think it would change my preference. However, I would likely agree to (and abide by) monogamy if it was critical to making things work with that woman.

 

5. What if this girl said inviting other women into your sex life was fine once you guys got into a comfortable state in your relationship, how would this affect your decision about this woman?

 

If I felt she was on the level about it, it would likely be acceptable. But I'd probably test her on it at some point, and if it turned out to just have been a strategy on her part, it would represent just as severe a betrayal as cheating is for regular people.