Cenerentola Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 This may not be the right place for this post, but here goes. Just a story of something in my life, and a wish for a man that changed my life for the better, but will never know. I met this man about a year ago who completely changed my life. I was sort of at a crossroads in life - I was struggling so hard to escape an opinion of myself that had been placed on me by men from my past. When I met this man, I remember I had a dream about him. In my dream, he was the kindest, best person I had ever known, the type of person who really cared about other human beings for who they are and would do whatever he felt was the right thing because he valued other people simply for being human. It completely blew me away, and I woke up in a daze unlike anything I had ever felt before. I worked with him for some time, and he proved to be exactly like the dream. So kind, charitable, caring about other human beings, completely like the person I dreamed of. If I could explain the lengths he went to to be kind, I think it would amaze people. I was blown away by him, and had feelings for him which I never have for other men. His friend, however, was very cruel to me, and when no one was looking he treated me terribly, the way men have always treated me. At first I let it pass, but then when I saw the goodness in this other man, I realized I did not have to put up with such cruelty anymore, and I stood up for myself. I finally said, "I deserve more than this. You cannot treat me this way anymore." Well, it is no suprise I suppose that his friend was angry at me for standing up for myself, and in the long run, as everything has turned out, I think the man I thought was so good really hates me. Standing up for myself turned out to be something that made me look bad because I was new to everyone and they believed the guy who was treating me bad, not me. Anyways, it has been a very long time now since I saw this man, but tonight, so close to Thanksgiving, I was thinking about him. I know he hates me, but I can never forget him or stop wishing the very best for him. I wish that I could somehow make his life so happy for everything he did for me. He might hate me through his friend, but he changed my life. He made me see I deserve respect, kindness, charity, and that I am worth so much more. I can never tell him these things, and I know he will spend his life probably thinking terrible of me, but I will always think nothing but the best of him. I wish I was an angel, I would bless his life in more ways than I can think of. Because of him, I now have a better life to look forward to. I just hope his life will be even better than I could dream for mine! I give thanks for him, and hope his life will be more than he could ever give thanks for!
Lovegod Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Wow, you really need to work on your self-esteem. I think the man I thought was so good really hates me. This is what you think. Did you ever ask him if he hates you? Did he ever tell you that he hates you? If you answered no to both of those questions, then your imagination is getting the best of you and it's quite likely that he does not hate you at all. You're just too damn worried about measuring up to his standards, and you don't even know what his standards are! Try to avoid letting your mind speak for other people
jcster Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 know he hates me, but I can never forget him or stop wishing the very best for him. I wish that I could somehow make his life so happy for everything he did for me. He might hate me through his friend, but he changed my life. He made me see I deserve respect, kindness, charity, and that I am worth so much more. I can never tell him these things, and I know he will spend his life probably thinking terrible of me, but I will always think nothing but the best of him. I agree with Lovegod, you have only your own assumptions to go on as to how he feels about you. If he's as great as you think, I would find it very unlikely that he hates you. Why don't you tell him what you told us? Drop him an email or better yet, send him a card. Even if you never see him again, you will know that you did something nice for him - and that's the best way to feel good about yourself.
kymberann Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 This does not make sense that someone would hate you for standing up for your self, especially if this person is as kind as you say he is!
Author Cenerentola Posted November 22, 2007 Author Posted November 22, 2007 Well, I suppose sending him two emails over two months asking for a recommendation, and never receiving a reply, (when he told me how incredible I was before I left, before he knew I had stood up for myself) kind of speaks for itself. Really, it does not matter, I just wanted to express what I felt.
Lovegod Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 Wow, you REALLY read into things too much! Remind me never to ask you to translate the bible for me
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