loveinlife Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Hi, my gf went to hang out with soem friends at their house, guys and girls. I called her and she didn't pick up the phone. She text message me back saying she is helping a friend handle a problem. Then i asked her is everything okay, does she need anything? She texted back, don't worry just need time. Go to sleep first plz. Im just frustrated by her action of her trying to spend time with friends i don't know of, and who knows if she is with just a guy or her ex. I just dont' know and its making me frustrated. Like why can't she pick up her phone when i called... has this happened to anyone before, or am i just over reacting..
marley_86 Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Way over reacting. She can hang out with whomever she likes, and maybe did it feel it appropriate to answer the phone with friends. If you can't trust a girl when she doesn't pick up, you shouldn't be with her. At least she responded to your phone with a quick text. These friends have to be approved by you first?
dbtmarley Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 But I know it already does so what good does saying that do? When you say you don't know these friends, do you mean that she has never introduced you? If that is the case, then she has a life that you are not a part of. Why are you not hanging out with her? Do the two of you have totally separate social lives? When you hang out is it without her? Does she approve of it when you do? When you placed the call you were checking up on her. Adults generally do not like this. How long have the two of you been going with each other? Has she given you any reason to not trust her in the past? I agree with, Marley#2... if you cannot trust her or get bad vibes like this maybe she is not for you... or you for her.
Author loveinlife Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Way over reacting. She can hang out with whomever she likes, and maybe did it feel it appropriate to answer the phone with friends. If you can't trust a girl when she doesn't pick up, you shouldn't be with her. At least she responded to your phone with a quick text. These friends have to be approved by you first? I think i am over reacting a bit, not that her friends need to approval of me. I just want to cut the relationship off if she is doing stuff behind my back before i prolong this. I found a hicky on her neck that i didn't recall giving it to her. She also constantly have guys calling her. I prefer having a girl who can be there for me and not a spare for her. But I know it already does so what good does saying that do? When you say you don't know these friends, do you mean that she has never introduced you? If that is the case, then she has a life that you are not a part of. Why are you not hanging out with her? Do the two of you have totally separate social lives? When you hang out is it without her? Does she approve of it when you do? When you placed the call you were checking up on her. Adults generally do not like this. How long have the two of you been going with each other? Has she given you any reason to not trust her in the past? I agree with, Marley#2... if you cannot trust her or get bad vibes like this maybe she is not for you... or you for her. Currently we do have separate social lives bc we only know each other for 1.5 months. Im not with her due to us living 50mins away from each other and we've been seeing each other every other day. its also a way to keep our relationship fresh. i spend a lot of time with her, sometimes i like to go my separate way.e Only reason why i feel insecure is that she's been hanging out with this guy once a week ever since he came back to the city...
Author loveinlife Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Just spoke with her and she was hanging out with her friends and her ex. i'll just stay cool, seems like i've been trying to look for trouble before there is trouble.. Maybe i just don't like to waste time in a relationship and is looking for something real. Recently my exgf has been wanting me to come back while im with my new girl.. Just want to see whose the best for me and im looking out for my own self interest been hurt before and im preventing this kind of stuff from happening. thanks for the replies mar and db. =)
Lovegod Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Im just frustrated by her action of her trying to spend time with friends i don't know of If you want to control women, adopt a female puppy. Otherwise, let your gf have a life outside of you! who knows if she is with just a guy or her ex. If you don't trust this woman, then you should break up with her. Like why can't she pick up her phone when i called. Because she's busy. She'll talk to you later. If you want to keep anybody on a leash, get yourself a puppy. has this happened to anyone before, or am i just over reacting.. You're just over-reacting. Just spoke with her and she was hanging out with her friends and her ex. Are the both of you in a committed relationship, or just dating?
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Bottom line lil, it appears to me that you're doing a little private sabotaging, in order not to invest again thus open yourself up to being vulnerable. If you're in this mindset, especially since the ex is in the background, step away from relationships for awhile, until you've recharged your internal strength and are able to take another emotional hit, if it ever comes to that.
Author loveinlife Posted November 22, 2007 Author Posted November 22, 2007 If you want to control women, adopt a female puppy. Otherwise, let your gf have a life outside of you! If you don't trust this woman, then you should break up with her. Because she's busy. She'll talk to you later. If you want to keep anybody on a leash, get yourself a puppy. You're just over-reacting. Are the both of you in a committed relationship, or just dating? I agree that im over reacting, but i don't treat women like a puppy. I respect them. thats why my exgf is trying to get back with me and wants to marry me now... but i am in a commited relationship with this current girl. So its kinda tough to decide on whose better to choose. =/ Bottom line lil, it appears to me that you're doing a little private sabotaging, in order not to invest again thus open yourself up to being vulnerable. If you're in this mindset, especially since the ex is in the background, step away from relationships for awhile, until you've recharged your internal strength and are able to take another emotional hit, if it ever comes to that. You got the point, i was self sabotaging to give me some kind of excuse to find out which girl is better. so silly of me. Im going to give myself some space and just think a little bit and not over react. Thanks =)
Lovegod Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 I agree that im over reacting, but i don't treat women like a puppy. I respect them. Getting pissed off at a woman because she doesn't pick up the phone when you want her to isn't respect. It's control, and when you control them, you don't respect them as individual human beings. thats why my exgf is trying to get back with me and wants to marry me now Respect has nothing to do with attraction. You can be respected by that old lady who lives down the street, but I doubt she'd want you in bed. You're displaying value because you're with another woman. You're probably banging your gf which displays sexuality. Plus, getting you away from your current gf is a challenge. All of that makes you desirable to any woman, which includes your ex.
Author loveinlife Posted November 22, 2007 Author Posted November 22, 2007 Getting pissed off at a woman because she doesn't pick up the phone when you want her to isn't respect. It's control, and when you control them, you don't respect them as individual human beings. Respect has nothing to do with attraction. You can be respected by that old lady who lives down the street, but I doubt she'd want you in bed. You're displaying value because you're with another woman. You're probably banging your gf which displays sexuality. Plus, getting you away from your current gf is a challenge. All of that makes you desirable to any woman, which includes your ex. you have a point, i do admit i was over reacting. as part of what is displayed through my post on these few sentences is only an aspect of my emotions at a given time and shouldn't be judged as a whole bc you dont know who i am. I hope you know what i mean. Given anythoughts at all, you are the same and trying to redirect my attention to what you believe is true. am i not wrong? that is a form of manipulation, part of controling ppl in your surrounding, if you think about it. I am just here to seek advice like anyone else, please give me air to vent. Thanks ---------------- Attractive or not to any woman is not is non of your business. I am not sure if you have any nice male friends to know the diversity of males and not base simple emotions on something so big. I have lots of women friends, all of them have called me nice guy and very sweet, i have always been the type of guy women come to when they have problems.
Lovegod Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 Given anythoughts at all, you are the same and trying to redirect my attention to what you believe is true. am i not wrong? that is a form of manipulation, part of controling ppl in your surrounding, if you think about it. I could care less about you, let alone manipulate and control you. I'm pointing out where you f\/cked up, and can only hope that you'll take a better look at yourself and improve the way you treat the women you encounter in your life. How, if, and when you correct your actions is entirely up to you. It's your choice if you decide I'm full of 5hit and continue to get mad at women for not jumping when you say jump. ...and if you believe I'm the only one who thinks you're treating this woman like crap, then you might want to re-read some of the other responses again. Attractive or not to any woman is not is non of your business. Then why did you include the fact that your ex wants to marry you? If you don't want people butting into your business, then maybe you shouldn't post anything. i have always been the type of guy women come to when they have problems. ...and you believe this is a good thing? I'd prefer to take a woman out on dates and have fun with her as opposed to becoming her emotional tampon.
Author loveinlife Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 As far as you trying to correct my mistake, i am doing the same for you just helping you see that it was a temporary emotion and don't misjudge a person so easily by giving me big names and starting to use profanity. but what i say may not affect you bc looking at your name on this site already gives me the thought that you like to be superior on this subject of love and nothing else matters.
torranceshipman Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Wow....you sound mean with what you posted here: 'thats why my exgf is trying to get back with me and wants to marry me now... but i am in a commited relationship with this current girl. So its kinda tough to decide on whose better to choose.' Who you should choose? This isn't a candy shop! If you have committed to your girlfriend, commit to her. If you think you want your ex, split with the current girlfriend, and get back with the ex. It sounds so arrogant of you to say 'whose better to choose' as if they're boyth on trial! - sounds like you dont feel true love for either. Also, If your ex displayed ANY affection for you, you should have said it was a totally inappropriate thing to discuss, as you are with a new girlfriend now, and you should possibly even cut contact for a while, as your ex has romantic feelings for you, which can't be discussed or acted on in your present situation - its disrespectful to talk to her about this behind your girlfriends back-really disrespectful. Which is ironic as its YOU saying you dont trust HER.
Lovegod Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 helping you see that it was a temporary emotion Having "temporary emotions" like this will eventually cause problems in your future relationships. You can never take back what you say or do. That's why I'd suggest you work on whatever issue is causing you to have these "temporary emotions", and from the surface it seems to be distrust or the need to control her actions and her associations. If your issue is something deeper, then only YOU can find it and fix it. but what i say may not affect you bc looking at your name on this site already gives me the thought that you like to be superior on this subject of love No, I AM a superior on the subject. You may call me an arrogant prick because of that statement, but I'm the only one I know who is unbelievably fantastic at attracting women.
Author loveinlife Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Having "temporary emotions" like this will eventually cause problems in your future relationships. You can never take back what you say or do. That's why I'd suggest you work on whatever issue is causing you to have these "temporary emotions", and from the surface it seems to be distrust or the need to control her actions and her associations. If your issue is something deeper, then only YOU can find it and fix it. No, I AM a superior on the subject. You may call me an arrogant prick because of that statement, but I'm the only one I know who is unbelievably fantastic at attracting women. I see your point. Like you i have similar levels of attracting women as well.
Sunblast Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I was on this other board for a while, and to paraphrase a terrific post, one of the legends said something like, "these boards are meant to discuss things like 'how do I get threesomes' and 'getting to simultaneous multiple orgasms.' Instead, it's 'she looked at me twice and then looked away, what do I do.' " People! Wake up! Are you that incompetent that you need a forum to know when to talk to a woman, or to a man, and when to call, and when not to, and to take basic risks until you figure it out, and how to lay your partners properly! (That applies to both sexes, by the way). Come on, LOOK at yourselves! Can you really wake up in the morning and look in the mirror and realize that your ancestors got laid and raised kids just fine for 40 unbroken generations, and then you are the one f'ck-up who can't figure out how to set up a date?! Are you KIDDING me!
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