stacy6910 Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 My boyfriend and I are living together and we talk about getting married all the time but its not going anywhere! Lately he's been acting very weird to me...like distant. He tells me he doesn't want to be all "lovey" but he'll have sex with me? He never helps me out around the house and when I complain he makes me feel terrible. Questions continue to run through my head about if we are supposed to be together?? Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong?
Dynamo Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 My boyfriend and I are living together and we talk about getting married all the time but its not going anywhere! Lately he's been acting very weird to me...like distant. He tells me he doesn't want to be all "lovey" but he'll have sex with me? He never helps me out around the house and when I complain he makes me feel terrible. Questions continue to run through my head about if we are supposed to be together?? Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? How long were you together for before you moved in together? Maybe you took things too fast and he's not all he's cracked up to be.
Krytie TV Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I did something like that before when living with someone. I was biding my time to end the relationship and eventually did not too long after.
BeautifulMystique Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 My boyfriend and I are living together and we talk about getting married all the time but its not going anywhere! Lately he's been acting very weird to me...like distant. He tells me he doesn't want to be all "lovey" but he'll have sex with me? He never helps me out around the house and when I complain he makes me feel terrible. Questions continue to run through my head about if we are supposed to be together?? Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? Have you both been together for long? I can only imagine that the reason why he's acting distant is because his idea of living together isn't all that dandy. I for one, cannot live with someone who will not help around the house! Doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman! I can't live with someone if he thinks as long as he fulfills my sexual needs and I do the same for him - then that is all there is to it. That is not it! There is so much more to living together.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 My boyfriend and I are living together and we talk about getting married all the time but its not going anywhere! Lately he's been acting very weird to me...like distant. He tells me he doesn't want to be all "lovey" but he'll have sex with me? He never helps me out around the house and when I complain he makes me feel terrible. Questions continue to run through my head about if we are supposed to be together?? Is this normal? Am I doing something wrong? Until you talk to him, it'll all just be conjecture. He may be taking something out on you (meaning, whatever the source of stress is, it could be unrelated to you). OR he may be feeling pressured to commit further (so he's stopped being "lovey"). It could be so many things... You need to ask him what the problem is.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Talk to him. Tell him that you feel his feelings may have been modified since (whenever). This will either makes things better or worse. But in the long run, you owe it to yourself to figure out if you can spend the rest of your life with this person.
Author stacy6910 Posted November 22, 2007 Author Posted November 22, 2007 thank you all for your reply... We've been together a little over two years it had been about a year and 9 months when we moved in together.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 thank you all for your reply... We've been together a little over two years it had been about a year and 9 months when we moved in together. So you moved in together after 3-4 months? IMO that is way too short of a time. Are you pressuring him to propose to you? Maybe this is making him act distant. When did you see these changes start? People don't generally live together for an extended period of time miserable and stay in that situation.
Author stacy6910 Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 oh no no no we had been dating almost two years when we moved in together...we waited awile. I'm trying not to pressure him but yeah I am. I'm getting alot better but its just something I want so badly.
Krytie TV Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 This may be a silly question, but why do you want to be married so badly? It's nothing but a piece of paper and doesn't make the relationship any better. If you're looking to "lock him in", marriage doesn't accomplish that.
Racquel Colette Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Well marriage is the natural step for a couple who have been together that long. It's time for him to fish or cut bait, not continue to live in limbo. She loves the guy and wants to marry him, Krytie. Why is this a diffiicult concept to grasp? Marriage is a lot more than a piece of paper. It's crazy when people say that.
Sunblast Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 [THIS IS FOR YOU, RC] We have this joke back home, it goes like this: Girlfriends are always so sexy, open, adventurous, horny, slutty, love beer, trucks, threesomes, etc etc etc etc... except for one flaw, they wanna get married really soon. - Why? It's hard to keep this act up for long.
Ocean-Blue Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 oh no no no we had been dating almost two years when we moved in together...we waited awile. I'm trying not to pressure him but yeah I am. I'm getting alot better but its just something I want so badly. Have you talked to him yet? Or are you trying to let things simmer a bit (in your mind)? Sometimes, two people can love each other and want very different things... And then you drive yourself crazy trying to figure out what the other wants.
Krytie TV Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 She loves the guy and wants to marry him, Krytie. Why is this a diffiicult concept to grasp? Because I've been married. It doesn't provide any more certainty and doesn't make things better.
Lauriebell82 Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Because I've been married. It doesn't provide any more certainty and doesn't make things better. Well, I don't think those are real great reasons to get married though. You get married because you love each other, you are compatible, and you want to be with each other forever. Marriage is NOT just a piece of paper, it's a committment. And no, I've never been married and I imagine that people have had horrific experiences with it. Anyway, Stacy, I really think you have a right to want to marry your bf and not just live together forever..that probably would get frustrating. Maybe you should lay off the marriage talk though, he's probably feeling pressured (even if you aren't intending to do so). But telling you he doesn't want to be all "lovey dovey" isn't really a very nice thing to say to you. I think you should talk to him (not about marriage or proposals) but about where you see you two in the future. Tell him honestly how you feel, that you would like to get married someday and don't want to just be living together forever. Ask him why he is acting so distant as well. Maybe it's something you too can work on together! Communication is everything, especially when you are living together.
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