Author BurriedAlive Posted November 26, 2007 Author Posted November 26, 2007 I don't think you are as mad at him as you are at yourself. Not being snarky, but reading your post, I had to wonder why you even got involved with a man that saw hookers and unethically paid for it with his company VISA? I would be mad at myself that I deluded myself into somehow justifying his actions, forget about the fact that he has a W. I would be mad that I decided to turn a blind eye to the things that he told me were wrong with his character. Is it possible some of the anger you have is at yourself? You know, you are absolutely right about how I turned a blind eye to things that were sure signs that this guy was a looser. In fact, I bet his W does the same thing.... Having just ended an absolutely sexless 5 marriage when I started up with MM, I had zero self confidence. It is not rocket science for anyone to figure out what would happen next when someone started paying attention to me. At the beginning of our affair, I just wanted sex. That is what it was all about. The visa incident, btw only came after I started up with MM. But anyway, I never intended on falling in love him. I guess once I started to get to know him I realized that he actually had good qualities that I really liked. That's when I told the little voice of reason to shut up.... I guess I should always listen to my voice of reason! But in response to your question, I am really not angry at myself as much as I am angry at him. I used to be angry at me but I think I did the best I could with what I had to work with.
smileysmile Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 I don't sympathize with any person who gets invloved with a MM/MW. Leave well alone until they are D or you know he has moved out. And it is so easy to tell if they are lying or not about there situation. YOU are aiding and abetting with this MM and you are a contributor to this Affair. So back off and leave him alone until it is finalized. Stop whingeing.. For Gawds Sake!
OWoman Posted December 25, 2007 Posted December 25, 2007 I don't sympathize with any person who gets invloved with a MM/MW. so we noticed. so... why are you here? Feel like spreading a little christmas cheer, do you?
White Flower Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I don't know if I am buying it... here is my analogy...if my 13 year old dog were to ever leave (die) or I would have to adopt him out (never happen)...I would be heart broken. I would cry...for days upon days., upon days, upon days. But I would never EVER feel anger toward him. I hate to admit this, (cough) but in all probabilities, I love my dog more than my X. So something is missing in this anger thing. I'm not quite sure what is missing or what you are asking.
White Flower Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I don't sympathize with any person who gets invloved with a MM/MW. Leave well alone until they are D or you know he has moved out. And it is so easy to tell if they are lying or not about there situation. YOU are aiding and abetting with this MM and you are a contributor to this Affair. So back off and leave him alone until it is finalized. Stop whingeing.. For Gawds Sake! It always amazes me; the black and whiteness thinking. There is a made for TV movie with Reba MrIntyre where she played a wife who was in a coma for twenty years or so. Her husband had an A with her best friend. Reba woke up and H realizes he still loves his W and ends the A. Was it ok for him to have an A? Deep down, most people would say yes. Now, most of us don't have issues that are outwardly that extreme. But some of us have very deep and hidden ones. Blanket judgements will not increase your learning or understanding of human behavior.
White Flower Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 I don't think you are as mad at him as you are at yourself. Not being snarky, but reading your post, I had to wonder why you even got involved with a man that saw hookers and unethically paid for it with his company VISA? I would be mad at myself that I deluded myself into somehow justifying his actions, forget about the fact that he has a W. I would be mad that I decided to turn a blind eye to the things that he told me were wrong with his character. Is it possible some of the anger you have is at yourself? I can buy this, certainly. I wonder, however, if most of this information was discovered after she fell in love with him. Yet, anger is anger and sometimes it is misplaced. Everytime H blames me for something I can certainly see that he is really angry with himself. He is just more comfortable lashing it out on others rather than making the changes to better himself. But that's another thread...
smileysmile Posted December 26, 2007 Posted December 26, 2007 OMG! An A with her best friend? Hmmm couldn't he have chosen somebody closer? An I think you are talking about a situation which isn't at all common. I think you are trying to pick an argument lol I think you know what situation/scenario I meant. Its far to common and the guilty ones are now reading this post. Shame on you
PoshPrincess Posted December 28, 2007 Posted December 28, 2007 Burried, I wish I could answer your question! I have been through every emotion imaginable since my break up with MM over a year ago. This Xmas I have been feeling a hell of a lot of hate towards him. I have had this overwhelming urge to inflict mental and physical pain on him (although I wouldn't do either). I know he had a pa with his sis-in-law (Ws brother's W) some years ago and seriously feel like spilling the beans as I was the only person ever to know (apart from the two of them). I want to ruin his life as much as I feel he has ruined mine. Of course, that's a bit melodramatic, but those who have been there know what I mean! I have been analysing everything in my head and the only thing I can come up with at the moment is that I feel he has robbed me of my one true love (him) and that, like all the others that end the A and go back to their W, his life has carried on pretty much as normal. Same as your MM though, Burried - not very happily by all accounts! I feel angry with myself too as I am now with a lovely man who treats me exactly how I should be treated and puts me first always. I want to feel about him how I felt about MM. I just can't seem to get the b**tard MM out of my head. Burried, I hope things get easier for you re the hatred. I am hoping that soon I will run out of emotions to feel and will be able to move on to indifference! x
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