Do you think I cheated?

[KenzieAbsolutely]

She said ok...I take it to mean OK

She didn't want to be involved, She wasn't

She said no sex, I would have took that as no penetration (of her...or you..lol)

 

I haven't been it too many 3-ways (1 total, too many years ago) but I wouldn't think their is much less you could have done except for just watching and helping yourself with... yourself...?

 

Better ground rules at the time might have helped, but as you said, I think she is probably just looking for more ammo to make you look like the "bad guy"

 

I have had the "luxury" of hearing stories from both sides of a devoice over the years and have heard some pretty nasty stuff said about the other persons, it's amazing how the littlest things can get turned into the "main cause" of the devoice.

 

i agree. if she wasn't okay with it, she should have said no. if i give you a cookie, and you eat it, i can't get it back...unless i want it in puke form. and if i don't want it in puke form, it's my fault for giving you the cookie when i wanted the cookie in the first place.

 

what did she think was going to happen? you didn't even have actual sex with the woman, and despite some people's personal definition of 'sex', i am sure she didn't expect your threesome to mean you with your hands and feet bound while a loving couple screwed on and around your body. come on.

 

she's just pissed because she agreed and then took it back, but it was too late. hope she learned her lesson. be glad she's your ex; no one needs that kind of mind-f**king.

[whichwayisup]

I think you should have let Ken f*ck you in the @ss. It might have been less painful than getting f*cked in the @ss financially by the divorce.

 

Seriously, Wizer, though I was gasping for breath in tears after reading your post (I was laughing so hard)

 

Me too, I am currently wiping tears off my face, I snorted SO loud while laughing my husband heard me from the bathroom (he is taking a dump) and asked what was so funny! And yes, I read your post to him and now he's laughing.

I close my eyes, and suddenly I feel one...two...three...four...hands? on me at the same time! I open my eyes and my friend Ken has his hands on my dick.

 

This part nearly gave me a stroke! :laugh:

Out of surprise and more than a little bit of disgust, I swat his hands away and say, "no helping!". She finishes jerking me off onto her boobs, and it was party over.

 

This part made me think of Dora the Explorer, "Swiper! NO swiping!" LMFAO! sorry...

 

Later on he tells me that he "isnt gay", only "into experimenting". Right. The friendship was downhill after that.

 

I guess in a 3-some it's to be expected to be touched, sucked, rubbed up against by the opposite sex member...So you experienced. Have to ask, I bet it DID feel good to have four hands on your cock. Do you agree? Sexual experience is just that, doesn't make you 'gay.'..

 

Anyway, when I told my wife about it after the fact, she was furious and said that she "never thought I was serious about it".

 

It's too bad she didn't take you seriously, I mean, obviously she gave you some indication that it was OK to do, right? IF you felt like she wasn't onboard you wouldn't have gone ahead with the 3-some.

 

So, is it "cheating"? Is it my fault that she didn't believe me? Was it wrong to even do it? Should I have let Ken **** me in the ass?

 

Yes and no. Yes because it happened, but no because she kind of gave you the OK, but again, the no because you two really didn't sit and discuss it, but yes because she did tell you not to f(ck the other girl.

 

Yes, ken f**kin' you up the ass probably would have saved you some $$ in the divorce and maybe she wouldn't be such a beyotch.

 

What's your opinion?

 

Sorry that you have to go through this and hopefully they'll see that she's out for revenge, spite and hate, they'll ease up on you and things won't be as bad as the appear to be now.

 

PS You're a very funny guy and tell your life story's well.

[wizer]

I guess in a 3-some it's to be expected to be touched, sucked, rubbed up against by the opposite sex member...So you experienced. Have to ask, I bet it DID feel good to have four hands on your cock. Do you agree? Sexual experience is just that, doesn't make you 'gay.'..

 

Yes, ken f**kin' you up the ass probably would have saved you some $$ in the divorce and maybe she wouldn't be such a beyotch.

 

PS You're a very funny guy and tell your life story's well.

 

In hindsight (pun sort of intended), my friend Ken probably used the lure of a 3some to get me right where he wanted me. I'm sure his wife was aware of what I consider to be his "bisexuality tendency" and I feel that I was "sucker punched".

 

Did I enjoy having 4 hands on my dick? It was too brief and my shock was so strong that it erased any of the emotions I had immediately prior, so I can't say that it felt good.

 

And I dont get why having his dick in my A$$ would have saved me any money in my divorce, but given the choice right now I would probably bend over for the guy rather than take the shaft I'm getting from my wife and her attorneys.

 

And thanks for the compliment about my life stories and how I tell them. I might just have a few more...

[burningman]

Are you 20 and phishing the internet looking for a creative writing 101 story? Sorry, man, no offense but thought it was worth asking.

[burningman]

....and please post your wife's attorney contact info.

[wizer]

Are you 20 and phishing the internet looking for a creative writing 101 story? Sorry, man, no offense but thought it was worth asking.

 

No. Age 45. And I don't like to fish.

 

....and please post your wife's attorney contact info.

 

Seriously. They are probably the best attorneys in my area. They know their stuff, they know the judges, they know how to work the system. I'm on my third attorney and it's still not a fair fight.

[whichwayisup]

In hindsight (pun sort of intended), my friend Ken probably used the lure of a 3some to get me right where he wanted me. I'm sure his wife was aware of what I consider to be his "bisexuality tendency" and I feel that I was "sucker punched".

 

Did I enjoy having 4 hands on my dick? It was too brief and my shock was so strong that it erased any of the emotions I had immediately prior, so I can't say that it felt good.

 

And I dont get why having his dick in my A$$ would have saved me any money in my divorce, but given the choice right now I would probably bend over for the guy rather than take the shaft I'm getting from my wife and her attorneys.

 

And thanks for the compliment about my life stories and how I tell them. I might just have a few more...

 

Nah, I just kidding around...I think no matter what went down, she would have had a problem with it. Touching or not touching the wife and if Ken f**ked you up the exit hole she would have had a problem with that as well.

 

I hope she realizes that what she's doing is really awful and cruel and that one day ALL of her cruelness WILL come and bite her hard in the butt. Karma's a real b*tch, and she bites back 100x harder when it comes around..

 

And thanks for the compliment about my life stories and how I tell them. I might just have a few more...

 

Feel free to post 'em when you're ready. God only knows I've shared afew (blush) good ones here on LS as well!

[RecordProducer]

Forget Ken. If you invited them and your wife didn't knwo they were coming or didn't know what was going to happen THAT night, thenit WAS cheating. But if she went to work and said "Have fun in the threesome" then it wasn't cheating. What you described is within the limits of the agreed terms. I mean, how would you participate if you just watched? Or is that what your wife expected from you?

 

Basically, if you did anything beyond what she told you she expected, it's cheating. I just can't understand how she could let you do that.

[Trialbyfire]

You've made me think of something RP.

 

A typical male/female conversation, volume and emotions turned down a few thousand notches:

 

Man: Honey, the boys and I are going to Vegas sometime.

Woman: Okay dear, have fun.

Woman: Where were you all weekend?

Man: I went to Vegas. Remember? I told you I was going.

Woman: But you never told me when you were going to Vegas this weekend. I thought it was in the distant future. I made dinner on Friday night and it burned in the oven, waiting for you to come home from work.

[Chrome Barracuda]

I'm in the process of getting divorced, after 18 years together. The reasons are many, but sexual infidelity isn't one of them. Or is it? STBXW brought this up on more than one occasion, during the last year or two of turmoil and in counseling. The counselor was rather neutral about it, probably because it happened at least 12 years ago and was not really contributroy to the demise of our marriage.

 

It seems to me like she was looking for more ammo to make me look like the "bad guy" in the breakdown of the marriage. So at this point, it's more of a "loose end", a chapter in the part of the book that I must close..as I move ahead in my attempt to write poetry..I mean... in an attempt to move on with my life...

 

Here goes:

 

I had an old high school friend, who I will call Ken, and his wife, who I will call Denise, because those are their real names and I don't give a crap, it was over 10 years ago and we no longer are in contact. Anyway, they lived out of state at the time, but we were in contact on a fairly regular basis and they visited from time to time. One day, Ken calls and says they will be down for the weekend, and he had an interesting proposition for me. He and his wife would be into a "three way". Not sure how far it would go, but why not do a bit of "experimenting".

 

My wife was of a fairly open and flexible nature, and she was ok with me partaking, as long as 1) she didnt want anything to do with it and 2) no having sex with the woman. She worked nights as an LPN, and wouldnt be around the night they would be over, which was just as well. So I tell Ken and Denise that I have the "green light" and they make plans to come visit the following weekend.

 

They come over, we start off on the couch, she's in the middle, he starts playing with her breasts, and he looks over at me and gives me the nod. I was thinking, this is so weird. I am just going to reach out and start playing with my friend's wife's boobs. So I went for it, half expecting her to hit my hand away. She didn't. They were quite hard. I found out later on that they were artificial, and back then they didn't have the realism of todays implants.

 

Anyway, things progressed, and my hands were between her legs, all over her breasts and nipples, she was moaning and squirming, and he suggested we go to the bedroom and put on a porn movie. So we do that, and continue in basically the same positions, her lying in the middle, and jerking both me and him off at the same time. So then we change positions, so we are both kneeling, one on either side of her. Shes jacking me off, and it feels so damn good to have a woman other than my wife with her hands on me...I close my eyes, and suddenly I feel one...two...three...four...hands? on me at the same time! I open my eyes and my friend Ken has his hands on my dick. Out of surprise and more than a little bit of disgust, I swat his hands away and say, "no helping!". She finishes jerking me off onto her boobs, and it was party over.

 

Later on he tells me that he "isnt gay", only "into experimenting". Right. The friendship was downhill after that.

 

Anyway, when I told my wife about it after the fact, she was furious and said that she "never thought I was serious about it".

 

So, is it "cheating"? Is it my fault that she didn't believe me? Was it wrong to even do it? Should I have let Ken **** me in the ass?

 

What's your opinion?

 

Let's discuss.

 

This whole situation is just F-ed up! lol!!!

 

Your male friend wanted you that's what the wink was for!

 

Anyway's your wife was looking for a reason to get rid of you she found your enjoyment in the act to solidify negative thoughts in her head. She probably got parenoid. Because not many men ask to have a orgy with a man and a woman!!!! See what I'm getting at?

 

I think you should make it up to your wife. Apologize, roses, everything in the book.

 

That's a pretty stupid reason to divorce because basically if she didnt want to engage in it, all she had to do is say no. But yet she agreed right?

[JHS]

I can see where you are coming from. But he is not a mind reader. She told him she was fine with it, told him the limits to which she would be comfortable with it, so of course he will go ahead with it. It sucks if she regrets telling him to do it, but I don't see either of them being at fault here.

 

Well, personally, I think he's at fault. But that's not the question he raised nor you - but even if no one is at fault, his behavior caused hurt, no? He needs to realize that. Again, despite her knowing consent (and it did not sound like a really deep conversation at that) she was hurt and I think that's really important.

[JHS]

So, is it "cheating"? Is it my fault that she didn't believe me? Was it wrong to even do it? Should I have let Ken **** me in the ass?

What's your opinion?

 

Let's discuss.

 

BTW: In my opinion you did cheat, but I think that cheating depends on what is done outside the marriage, not whether the spouse consents. Also, yes, you should have let him **** in the ***. Why not - you're all there naked having fun, why stop? "It's all good" right?

 

Finally, this post really smacks of one of those fake letters written into a magazine - it sounds like Wizer is a bit of a dramatist. But that's just me. I could be wrong.

[BetrayedMM]

Yeah, I think you broke your marriage vows... there was a line in there about "forsaking all others", right? Maybe I'm a bit old school, but I took that part seriously when I got married.

 

I see it as you asking for permission to break your vows(wreck your marriage).

 

I'm sorry if that comes across sounding harsh, but, consider this- how would you feel if your wife had been the one to basically announce her intention to do something on that order, then followed through? I bet it would feel like she added insult to injury.

 

But, at least you were honest to her about it all...

[LifesontheUp]

No. Age 45. And I don't like to fish.

Seriously. They are probably the best attorneys in my area. They know their stuff, they know the judges, they know how to work the system. I'm on my third attorney and it's still not a fair fight.

 

Yeah I know that feeling well. Got cleaned out too. But you know it was worth it....cause it got him out of my life.

 

Loved the story by the way

[JustBreathe]

I think you better quit playing on the computer and do your English homework before your mom finds out what you've been up to.

[gullible]

She worked nights as an LPN, and wouldnt be around the night they would be over, which was just as well. So I tell Ken and Denise that I have the "green light" and they make plans to come visit the following weekend.

 

Anyway, when I told my wife about it after the fact, she was furious and said that she "never thought I was serious about it".

 

So you had it planned in advance. You were going to wait until your wife was at work, have your friends come over and tell your wife about it after the fact. How could this not be cheating?

 

If you thought she would be OK with it why didn't you tell her what you had planned when you first made arrangements with Ken and Denise? Then she would have had a chance to tell you that she never thought you were serious and that she said yes only because she thought it would never happen.

 

Obviously you didn't think she would be OK with it or you wouldn't have kept it a secret from her.

 

Of course there's a good chance that JustBreathe is correct and that this is all made up.