wizer Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I'm in the process of getting divorced, after 18 years together. The reasons are many, but sexual infidelity isn't one of them. Or is it? STBXW brought this up on more than one occasion, during the last year or two of turmoil and in counseling. The counselor was rather neutral about it, probably because it happened at least 12 years ago and was not really contributroy to the demise of our marriage. It seems to me like she was looking for more ammo to make me look like the "bad guy" in the breakdown of the marriage. So at this point, it's more of a "loose end", a chapter in the part of the book that I must close..as I move ahead in my attempt to write poetry..I mean... in an attempt to move on with my life... Here goes: I had an old high school friend, who I will call Ken, and his wife, who I will call Denise, because those are their real names and I don't give a crap, it was over 10 years ago and we no longer are in contact. Anyway, they lived out of state at the time, but we were in contact on a fairly regular basis and they visited from time to time. One day, Ken calls and says they will be down for the weekend, and he had an interesting proposition for me. He and his wife would be into a "three way". Not sure how far it would go, but why not do a bit of "experimenting". My wife was of a fairly open and flexible nature, and she was ok with me partaking, as long as 1) she didnt want anything to do with it and 2) no having sex with the woman. She worked nights as an LPN, and wouldnt be around the night they would be over, which was just as well. So I tell Ken and Denise that I have the "green light" and they make plans to come visit the following weekend. They come over, we start off on the couch, she's in the middle, he starts playing with her breasts, and he looks over at me and gives me the nod. I was thinking, this is so weird. I am just going to reach out and start playing with my friend's wife's boobs. So I went for it, half expecting her to hit my hand away. She didn't. They were quite hard. I found out later on that they were artificial, and back then they didn't have the realism of todays implants. Anyway, things progressed, and my hands were between her legs, all over her breasts and nipples, she was moaning and squirming, and he suggested we go to the bedroom and put on a porn movie. So we do that, and continue in basically the same positions, her lying in the middle, and jerking both me and him off at the same time. So then we change positions, so we are both kneeling, one on either side of her. Shes jacking me off, and it feels so damn good to have a woman other than my wife with her hands on me...I close my eyes, and suddenly I feel one...two...three...four...hands? on me at the same time! I open my eyes and my friend Ken has his hands on my dick. Out of surprise and more than a little bit of disgust, I swat his hands away and say, "no helping!". She finishes jerking me off onto her boobs, and it was party over. Later on he tells me that he "isnt gay", only "into experimenting". Right. The friendship was downhill after that. Anyway, when I told my wife about it after the fact, she was furious and said that she "never thought I was serious about it". So, is it "cheating"? Is it my fault that she didn't believe me? Was it wrong to even do it? Should I have let Ken **** me in the ass? What's your opinion? Let's discuss.
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 If she said that it was okay with her, then personally I don't see a problem. But be prepared for the little lectures now I'm sure you will get from the usual people. Should you have let him do anal on you? If your first instinct is to swat his hands away then I think he is lucky he didn't put his little friend anywhere near you
Author wizer Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Should you have let him do anal on you? If your first instinct is to swat his hands away then I think he is lucky he didn't put his little friend anywhere near you I wasn't serious about that particular question! I was just throwing it in to inspire creativity on the part of those who might want to answer.
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I wasn't serious about that particular question! I was just throwing it in to inspire creativity on the part of those who might want to answer. Yeah I figured that but it's damn funny to think if you were serious As for creativity, this will be just like every other 3some thread, lectures, stories etc. Nothing new.
DazedandConfused66 Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Kinda depends on yours and wifeys definition of what was meant when she said to "not have sex" with the other woman. If she used a part of her body to bring you to ejaculation....I'm pretty sure that counts as having sex with the woman. If the situation were reversed and your wife had some guys fingers inside of her and he brought her to orgasm, would that be considered "having sex" or no? Sounds to me like you two needed some better ground rules....or this wouldn't be ammo in her box today.
Author wizer Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Sounds to me like you two needed some better ground rules....or this wouldn't be ammo in her box today. True. If we had better ground rules I probably wouldn't be in the midst of a nasty divorce.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 If she said that it was okay with her, then personally I don't see a problem. But be prepared for the little lectures now I'm sure you will get from the usual people. Should you have let him do anal on you? If your first instinct is to swat his hands away then I think he is lucky he didn't put his little friend anywhere near you You bet dollface!! She was stupid to have said yes. This is typical of the fallout from threesomes. Live and learn.
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 You bet dollface!! She was stupid to have said yes. This is typical of the fallout from threesomes. Live and learn. I'll dollface you in a second
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I'll dollface you in a second Try it darlin'. I used to kickbox.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I'll dollface you in a second Watch it Coco. If she gets behind the wheel of a bus, then you are sure to be history.
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Try it darlin'. I used to kickbox. Hey, I was just kidding around, no need to get physical *reports* haha j/k
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Hey, I was just kidding around, no need to get physical *reports* haha j/k Actually, so was I, hence the smilie face. I don't get physical with chicks.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Watch it Coco. If she gets behind the wheel of a bus, then you are sure to be history. With you in the passenger seat. An accessory to the crime.
JHS Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 If she said that it was okay with her, then personally I don't see a problem. But be prepared for the little lectures now I'm sure you will get from the usual people. Should you have let him do anal on you? If your first instinct is to swat his hands away then I think he is lucky he didn't put his little friend anywhere near you Here's the problem with this type of reasoning: Sure she said go ahead, but that doesn't mean it had to be done and doesn't mean that she wasn't hurt by it. For example, if someone wanted to kick me in the gut, and I thought that I would be okay with it, and he did it, I could later find it hurt. Sure I let him, but he didn't have to take me up on it. And when it comes to a wife's emotions rather than something simply physical (like a kick in the gut), I say be much MORE careful. Don't take such risks and the proof is what you saw afterwards. To digress - I used to think it would be cool to date a stripper (too long to explain why). I end up dating a girl who was a stripper (okay) and wanted to go back into it. "Fine," I said. But boy did it hurt.
Monty P Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 She said ok...I take it to mean OK She didn't want to be involved, She wasn't She said no sex, I would have took that as no penetration (of her...or you..lol) I haven't been it too many 3-ways (1 total, too many years ago) but I wouldn't think their is much less you could have done except for just watching and helping yourself with... yourself...? Better ground rules at the time might have helped, but as you said, I think she is probably just looking for more ammo to make you look like the "bad guy" I have had the "luxury" of hearing stories from both sides of a devoice over the years and have heard some pretty nasty stuff said about the other persons, it's amazing how the littlest things can get turned into the "main cause" of the devoice.
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Actually, so was I, hence the smilie face. I don't get physical with chicks. I know you were, I was just kidding! LOL Maybe you should try out some of your kickboxing on some of the rowdy men on here, some need to be brought back into line ((coughs)) Wizer ((coughs))
Citizen Erased Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Here's the problem with this type of reasoning: Sure she said go ahead, but that doesn't mean it had to be done and doesn't mean that she wasn't hurt by it. For example, if someone wanted to kick me in the gut, and I thought that I would be okay with it, and he did it, I could later find it hurt. Sure I let him, but he didn't have to take me up on it. And when it comes to a wife's emotions rather than something simply physical (like a kick in the gut), I say be much MORE careful. Don't take such risks and the proof is what you saw afterwards. To digress - I used to think it would be cool to date a stripper (too long to explain why). I end up dating a girl who was a stripper (okay) and wanted to go back into it. "Fine," I said. But boy did it hurt. I can see where you are coming from. But he is not a mind reader. She told him she was fine with it, told him the limits to which she would be comfortable with it, so of course he will go ahead with it. It sucks if she regrets telling him to do it, but I don't see either of them being at fault here.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I know you were, I was just kidding! LOL Maybe you should try out some of your kickboxing on some of the rowdy men on here, some need to be brought back into line ((coughs)) Wizer ((coughs)) The physicality I was referring to, isn't about being rowdy and wizer wouldn't be my choice, although I'm sure he's very attractive to other women. As for threesomes, not too many people can handle them, boundaries or not. It's the evolution from fantasy to reality that seems to whack them upside the head. As usual, I feel it's disrespectful to suggest a threesome when you're in a relationship. There, now, lecture over.
Pyro Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 With you in the passenger seat. An accessory to the crime. I've seen you drive and I will never ride passenger with you.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I've seen you drive and I will never ride passenger with you. You're just afraid of the tread marks.
Author wizer Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 You're just afraid of the tread marks. You mean...skid marks. The brown ones.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 You mean...skid marks. The brown ones. No tread marks...all over the body. I tend to mow down the victim, back up and do it again. It's kind of messy...
Author wizer Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 No tread marks...all over the body. I tend to mow down the victim, back up and do it again. It's kind of messy... If I was to give you my stbxw's address...do you think you could...ah, never mind...
OpenBook Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I think you should have let Ken f*ck you in the @ss. It might have been less painful than getting f*cked in the @ss financially by the divorce. Seriously, Wizer, though I was gasping for breath in tears after reading your post (I was laughing so hard) I really don't think your 3-way which happened 12 freakin years ago with friends with your W's approval amounts to a hill of beans at this point. I think you're right, your stbxw is bringing it up to make your life harder. Just because she can. Divorce makes monsters out of people. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Good luck with it... it really does get better, eventually.
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