MissMaris Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I guess most people go through this. Friends of mine, after seperating or divorcing, always seemed to get back into relationships. For example, my friend J started dating a girl three weeks after his wife left their home (they'd been talking about seperating for almost a year). He and his new girl were together 3 years, fell in love and everything, before finally realizing they weren't 'right' together. My friend L, after the breakup of her 15 year relationship, started dating and 6 months later had a new boyfriend who moved into her apartment. Within months, they were talking engagement, marriage, etc. It took her a full year of dating him to realize he was totally wrong for her. So now here I am....a year and 3 months (about) after seperating. I'm in a monogamous relationship which for all intents and purposes, is pretty OK. We're attracted to each other, like to communicate about various topics, find fun things to do together, etc etc. Only thing is, we've been together about a year and NOW I'm really noticing that things aren't quite 'right'. Really, I question the compatability factor and I realize this could have been a classic rebound. So, questions for you smarties out there -- How do you know if you're 'rebounding'? I mean, my relationship was on the skids for probably a good couple of years before we finally broke up. I yearned for my freedom. So I know this guy isn't just to appease a broken heart. I was not broken hearted at all. But....
sumdude Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I'm in the same boat. 10 months separated just starting a possible relationship. You know what it is maybe? We're dating again... same confusing questions, wondering if it's right etc. All those things we left behind a long time ago never expecting to revisit. It's actually a good thing you're questioning it. After being used to marriage we kind of want to fall back into it and maybe look past possible problems just to have that comfort again and avoid having to keep looking. I think that's why the second marriage success rate is even lower. Go with your gut..
AHIWON Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I've wondered a few times if that "perfect relationship" I thought I had that just ended was along the same lines. Rebounding. I thought it was really good but I've wondered if I just wanted it to be perfect and had my self in that frame of mind when reality was the opposite.
sumdude Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Before we met our former spouses we likely all had at least a couple or more previous relationships. To expect the first one out of the chute afterwards to be the next big one is unrealistic, not impossible but really unlikely. Just have to go through the whole dating and selection process all over again and be patient I guess.
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