LoveLace Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Ok ya'll...here's a guy none of ya have heard about! I actually met Dan like 2 years ago, over the internet. He was 36, me 28. Initially, I didn't think he was very cute, but I was drawn in by his manly, tall, toned, beer-belly physique. Our 1st date was a total blast...yes we had sex too soon, but OMG what sex it was...we hung out a few times soon after and the sex continued to be great...but it seemed if he ever got wind that I wanted it more serious, he disappeared for a couple months at a time, and it was definitely just "booty calls". This continued on and off for over a year, and he would talk about or make plans with me, then be nowhere to be found. I eventually got pretty sick of it, and I'd get pissed at him pretty much every time he came in and out of my life as I pleased..however I let him.. While with him though, he is very much a gentleman and all that. He's always claimed to have had 2 very long term relationships and engaged both times. He's always acted as though this is all he's ever known. But he doesn't come across as the settling type (maybe that was the problem?) he's what I like to call a "free spirit" and he does party a lot, but he lives for fun, which I always liked about him. Anyhow we got together last about a year ago but he was weirded out due to me having a male roommate, and he totally avoided me after that..until now. We've gotten back into touch recently (especially I broke up with someone and feelin' lonely!)...even after a year I've always hoped I would have sex with him again...if only sex, oh well, it's just that good. We are so sexually compatible it's incredible. Last night we finally met up after playing phone tag for a while; had a great time together, and yes amazing sex, all night long. I've long accepted that it's just a very sexual relationship. But for a guy keeps saying he wants to find "the one", why does he keep straying? I do know that I won't get mad at him anymore; he could call me in a month and I would probably be happy just to have sex, yet again...even while I date other guys...I think of sex with Dan constantly...it's very passionate and after last night I can't get it out of my head...so...what do you think? Will it always be just sex?
oppath Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I think one reason you have been unhappily single is you choose unavailable men. Dan is unavailable to you. His history indicates this. Marty before him was unavailable to you. I doubt this will turn into a relationship. Only 10% of FWB relationships ever become romantic. Is it possible? Yep. But aren't you just repeating past behaviors that have not produced the relationship you want?
Author LoveLace Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 dI'm not even sure that Dan is a guy I'd wanna take home to mom and dad, to be honest...just wondered about the idea itself...I wouldn't call it FWB, though, cuz we've never been just friends, it was sexual right off the bat, so it's more like just "benefits"...ha ha...the sex alone isn't going to break me...it's when something long term is promised then broken that hurts me...like Marty did. But once last year when Dan and I were together he said, "you always think I'm gonna leave, don't think that"....now that right there, is repeated behavior on my part...getting paranoid or angry when i think a guy is straying. It drove Marty away, too. So it seems like no matter who it is, I give off my insecure vibe no matter how much I try not to. But with Dan now it's to the point where I know he'll always be back eventually, so my feeling of paranoia doesn't even exist this time...usually right after sex I wonder when he'll call again, Blah Blah Blah...and this time it's just, not there, as if I don't care, so I wonder if I've just finally learned how to relax and enjoy myself...and maybe not with Dan but maybe with someone else eventually I'll land the real thing...
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