LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I have been visiting a bar for about 2 weeks now. There is a waitress up there I have been attracted to since I have been going. Well, last week, I got brave enough to ask her for her phone number. She did not give me hers, but I gave her mine. 2 days later, she contacted me via text. We have chatted since then. Well, last night, I decided to go up there, with a friend, and have some beers and watch the Hockey game. It was fun and she chatted with me a lot (as much as she could since she was working). As the night went on, I eventually got very heavily buzzed/borderline drunk and when i was away from the table, she aksed my friend if I was ok to drive or if we needed to take a cab. She seemed very concerned for me/us. I told her I would stop drinking (and did) and eventually asked her if she wanted to goto Denny's when she got off of work. She said she would like to go. Well, about 30 minutes before she was to close, she said she might have to cancel because a friend of hers got kicked out by her boyfriend and would need a place to stay, but that it was not set in stone. So, as I was leaving, I told her to text me if she could go. She said she would within 30 minutes. 30 minutes had passed and I was waiting to find out at my friends house. I gave it another 30 minutes and sent her a message "I am about to head home" and then about 10 minutes later, another one saying "Thanks for the beers and the Good night." She then sent me one saying "Sorry, I got a little busy and couldnt text you" and then "If you drive home, please drive safe". I then texted her back "I was about to leave, but nice guys will wait for the girl"... no response. Then I texted about 10 minutes later "Shock me. Meet me at Denny's" (She had told me earlier that she contacted me based off of liking to shock people). She did not respond anymore last night. I do believe her about the friend and was probably wrapped up in that situation. She had told me she had not lied to me since we have been chatting, so I dont think she blew me off... especially how she had been acting the whole night and our text messages from before. I guess my question is this: How should I go about this? Contact her and tell her I am sorry for getting too drunk? Tell her sorry if I offended her? or just leave it alone and not contact her at all?
tomwiz Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I'd leave it alone, although getting drunk and driving was not really the smoothest move, it can be salvaged. I'd give it a few days and maybe ask her out on a more traditional sort of date.
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I don't think she's that into you. She may have gotten turned off by the drinking thing, but that's frivilous if that's the case. To say yes, and then to turn you down, sounds suspicious. Women tend to do this when they are: 1. Telling the truth 2. Get a better offer 3. Too tired Only if it's one is it a good sign. Go back to the bar - pace your drinking and see how she acts around you. Then play it from there.
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 I don't think she's that into you. She may have gotten turned off by the drinking thing, but that's frivilous if that's the case. The night I asked her for her number, I was WAY more trashed than i was last night and she still contacted me. This is when she said she did it for 'shock value' because I asked her why she would even think about contacting a drunk guy. To say yes, and then to turn you down, sounds suspicious. Women tend to do this when they are: 1. Telling the truth 2. Get a better offer 3. Too tired Only if it's one is it a good sign. Well, she had told me she had not lied to me yet (right before I left... whatever that means... if anything. But I do believe. I cannot NOT believe her, then I am just being a jerk. Go back to the bar - pace your drinking and see how she acts around you. Then play it from there. I dont plan to drink around her anymore. It really is not me and I was a fool and aggressive. I just want to be the nice guy I am.
Kamille Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 A friend who just got kicked out by her boyfriend is a friend in need. It's an evening of hearing a friend out as she cries on one's shoulder. I would ditch almost any guy if one of my friends was going through that kind of crisis. Your "shock me" texting was cute. I think what you should do is give it another shot, and if you get turned down again, then drop it. You could even take this opportunity to present things as: well, since my last attempts at spending more time with you didn't work out, let me ask you out on a real date.
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 You could even take this opportunity to present things as: well, since my last attempts at spending more time with you didn't work out, let me ask you out on a real date. Not to go against what people have said here (I appreciate all advice and will take the best and apply to my situation), but my sister and co-worker both gave me almost the same advice. Both said I should text her around 1 or 2pm and say "I got a little drunk last night and I am sorry if I offended you." Short and sweet and covers the fact that i was pushy and seemed like I did not care about the friend... Which i would have, had I not been drunk. I dont think I am gunna drink around her anymore. Atleast not anytime soon (assuming she will still have anything to do with me).
Kamille Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Well she herself said it wasn't set in stone that she would spend the rest of the night with her friend, so don't be yourself up over it too much. Offer a lighthearted apology, show empathy for the friend and then ask her out again.
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Well she herself said it wasn't set in stone that she would spend the rest of the night with her friend, so don't be yourself up over it too much. Offer a lighthearted apology, show empathy for the friend and then ask her out again. I think i am going to wait until tomorrow night (if she does not contact me before then) to do this... this is advice from one of my friend's co-workers that I really liked and will follow. (unless of course I find better): I would just tell him to not contact her for a couple of days and then text her maybe tomorrow evening or later and ask her how everything is going with her friend and that maybe they can go out once she gets things situated with her friend. Tell him to make sure he gives it a couple of days.
tanbark813 Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Well, she had told me she had not lied to me yet *shakes head* Of course she did. Who says, "I might not be able to meet up with you. Oh, and I'm lying, by the way."? It sounds like she blew you off. Your last two text messages were lame also. When she said she couldn't meet up you should have just told her no big deal and left it at that. As far as what to do now, don't apologize for drinking too much. Do this: Go back to the bar - pace your drinking and see how she acts around you. Then play it from there. Just play it off like the whole incident doesn't even matter.
Mz. Pixie Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Ummmmm, weren't you married and have only been separated for a short time? Or do I have you confused with someone else??
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Yes, I am recently separated (since Aug 4)
Scarlett513 Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 whether she is into you or not, you don't want to scare her away. you already texted her too many times in one night. leave it alone (at least for awhile). maybe just apologize to her if you see her in the bar again.
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Ok, sent her a couple of texts today. Me: "Is everything ok for your friend?" Her: "yeah, she is ok. She will be having thanksgiving with us" Me: "I got a little drunk, sorry if my actions offended you" Her: "You didnt offend me" ----------------------------------------------------------- I am not going to contact her again until Saturday. I told the friend that went with me what she said in texts. He said "The way she was acting, if you go too long without contacting her, I am almost sure she will contact you. I bet she sends you a text saying 'Hi' this Friday. Anyways, just thought I would update.
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Went with my gut and got her... So yeah, my previous post said was not going to talk to her until Saturday.... well, I talked to her sooner. I sent her a "Happy Thanksgiving" text yesterday and she sent one back. Asked her if she was working tonight and she said yes. So, me and my friend went up there and she talked to me more. Since she is so busy with 2 night jobs, I dont really have a chance to take her on a date, but she agreed to goto Brunch with me next monday. And i asked her if she still wanted me to text her (not out of the blue, just not saying whole conversation) and she said yes. I asked how much and she said 'Surprise me'. So, i take that as much as I want. But I do realize too much can still be too much. I am not dumb
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 So, last time I spoke with her was on Thursday night. Should I just show up Monday at our arranged lunch date spot or should I text her first to see if she will be there?
Author LosingMyDreamGirl Posted November 27, 2007 Author Posted November 27, 2007 Things seemed fine Thursday when i talked to her. Showed up Monday and she was not there. No worries, moving on.
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