KnownTruth Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I have been involved with a MM for several months and have know him for Several years. We both are in love. His wife knows how he feels about me, but nothing has really come from it yet. Her knowing has all happened very recently....Anyway How do you just decide it is time to end the affair and get out of the situation? Do You give the MM time to deal with it all coming out? Or is it time to hit the road? Anyone else feel this way. That they just want out of the situation but don't know how because you are still in love with the MM. But the rollercoaster ride of ups and downs are driving us mad:eek:
RoseRen Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 That somewhat sounds like me. I'm in the same position and hence won't be the best person to advise you. But I want to wish the very best for you. Trust me, you'll find the best help here.
justice Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 If she knows, then why is he not with you instead of her? Sorry if this sounds harsh, but it sounds like you are being strung along, is that what you really want? Or do you want someone who is truly able to love you freely without a prior commitment? Getting into this with someone who is married wasn't right in the first place, staying in it, is asking for heartbreak and trouble.
child_of_isis Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I think OW's walk away when they have had enough of the crap. But not until.
nadiaj2727 Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 How do you just decide it is time to end the affair and get out of the situation? You tell yourself: "it is time, I must do this, no matter what anyone (including MM) tries to do to stop me. I am strong enough to do this" until you believe it, and then, like Nike says, you "just do it." Do You give the MM time to deal with it all coming out? No way, this is about YOU, not him or anyone else. You need to do what is best for you. No matter how great a person your MM is or how much he says he loves you, he has been doing the wrong thing by keeping you in his life and staying with his wife. You sound like you know it's time for you to start doing the right thing for yourself, therefore, be prepared to encounter resistance from MM who wants to keep what he has -- his wife and you. I'm not saying be cruel to him or forget about the love you shared with him, but remember that the two of you, unfortunately, never had anything besides an affair, that it is time for that affair to end, and you need to do what protects YOU and helps YOU get out and onto a much better life without him. Anyone else feel this way. That they just want out of the situation but don't know how because you are still in love with the MM. But the rollercoaster ride of ups and downs are driving us mad:eek: I did feel that way, it was very hard for me to break up with xMM. I still loved him (and I often feel those same feelings when I think about him), but I knew that what we were doing was wrong in general, wrong for his wife, and wrong for ME, so I decided to start listening to logic and my conscience over those really strong feelings I had for him. It is very hard, I admire you for stepping towards this direction. Best wishes, be strong.
simplegirl Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I can totally relate to this feeling and I wish I had an answer for you. My MM BS doesn't know anything as fact but I am getting tired of the games. I think everyone hits a point where they have had enough and walk away. It just depends who is first!
White Flower Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I have been involved with a MM for several months and have know him for Several years. We both are in love. His wife knows how he feels about me, but nothing has really come from it yet. Her knowing has all happened very recently....Anyway How do you just decide it is time to end the affair and get out of the situation? Do You give the MM time to deal with it all coming out? Or is it time to hit the road? Anyone else feel this way. That they just want out of the situation but don't know how because you are still in love with the MM. But the rollercoaster ride of ups and downs are driving us mad:eek: I think Owman, GreenEyedLady, and Lyssa are the ones to ask because they all have MM who left for them. Sorry if I'm leaving anyone out. Good luck knowtruth:)
frannie Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 His wife knows how he feels about me, but nothing has really come from it yet. How do you just decide it is time to end the affair and get out of the situation? Do You give the MM time to deal with it all coming out? Or is it time to hit the road? When you say 'nothing has really come from it', were you expecting his W to just give up on the M if he said he had feelings for someone else? Do you know for certain that he's told her how he feels about you..? Or has he just confessed to an affair, and they're trying to deal with that? What 'comes of it' really needs to come from him. i.e. if he wants to leave, he has to tell her that, and my guess would be that he hasn't. In any case, I think that it would be a good plan for you to leave them to it for now, and see whether or not they do separate. If they don't, and he comes back to you with reasons why he needs to stay there but continue things with you... (the most likely outcome), then you need to decide for yourself if that's what you want for your life. Otherwise... love yourself more than you love him. You don't need to waste your life propping up his marriage.
Ms_Natalie Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 You walk away when: *He leaves her for you *You have had enough of the fun and games * You have fallen in love with him and he will not commit!! I know its nasty (no.2) but you'd be urprised how many people sleep with MP to get their rocks off!!! If his wife knows, and there are no children involved...he should be with you!!!!
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 His wife knows how he feels about me, but nothing has really come from it yet.Just curious how you know his wife knows about you? Did she tell you that personally? Do you know her and she confided this in you? Because that's the ONLY way you'd know if that statement were true or not.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 We both are in love. How do you just decide it is time to end the affair and get out of the situation? Do You give the MM time to deal with it all coming out? Or is it time to hit the road? Well, first you say that you are both in love...But you must have reservations about it because of the questions that you ask... Why is it that you would wait until now to think about ending the A? Are you not entirely sure that you are compatible with one another? Does he have the qualities that you are looking forward in a partner? Do you meet each other's needs? Or are you more concerned with everyone knowing and everything that comes with that? I have been with my partner almost 3 years...He is finally going through the process...and I love him and focus on our R...I will support him through this time...It's not easy, I went through a D myself, I know what it's like, even when you want it with every ounce of your body... If you truly love him and want to be with him, why would you abandon him now? Is he saying he wants to work it out with her and keep you as a Long-Term OW? Then I would simply tell him that you can't agree to those terms and then WALK AWAY...I let mine go and he came back to me and became a wonderful partner, a true partner... So I think you should explore why you would be wanting to get out now, that his W knows...Is it because it was a competition or is it because you're not sure you're right for each other? I hope my questions don't sound harsh...I ask them so that you will think about them and come up with your own answers...You have to get to the bottom of what you want and who you are before you can be a good partner and let your partner know what it is you need from them... All the best! GEL
Lyssa Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 If you truly love him and want to be with him, why would you abandon him now? Is he saying he wants to work it out with her and keep you as a Long-Term OW? Then I would simply tell him that you can't agree to those terms and then WALK AWAY...I let mine go and he came back to me and became a wonderful partner, a true partner... KT - GEL has said it all and I totally agree with the above quoted part. If my MM didn't divorce his W and wanted me to be his LTOW, I would tell him to shove those 4 big letter-word up his a**! I don't deserve to be a LTOW and no other women should, for that matter. If you feel that you can't be with him anymore, you can't see yourself waiting anymore - then walk away. It will be hard to do so but it's even harder the more you invest and the longer you wait.
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