exsequor Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I found out a month or two back that my 17 year old girlfriend was taken advantage of while drunk and essentially raped when she was 14. She didn't even tell her best friend until a week before she told me. I'm 19 and I've been dating my girl for 8 months now, and I still keep having thoughts about it from time to time. She pointed out scars on her inner thighs that I didn't really notice previous that he inflicted. It just really gets to me, and I just hate thinking of my sweetie in this circumstance. I'm just trying to look for the best attitude/mindset to take in order to cope with this better. Thanks for any advice...
Gyjin Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Been there before, almost in your shoes. The bad thing about knowing something is you can't unknow it. For me it was a metter of 1. don't keep talking about it- You can't undo it neither can she. She needs to talk to a professional. She sounds like she is still dealing with it. Encourage her seeing a professional and stay out of what was discussed. It's human nature to want to know certain things but you will make yourself miserble. Respect her and that time for healing. 2. Focus on enjoying eachother. SERIOUSLY Focus on fun things together. distract both of your minds as much as possible. slowly the pain for both will diminish I PROMISE. There are things that you will carry with you forever. For me I have absolutely zero tolerance for abuse of women especially sexually. And a weird mistrust of guys and their intentions. I hate knowing how guys treat (use) women and how our society accepts it. Good Luck
Author exsequor Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Thank you so much for the advice. This has pretty much been how I've been coping with this. just occasionally I'll think about it and get bad images/thoughts going through my head. I also cannot stand the thought of men using and physically abusing women. That's just me though...
wizer Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 She pointed out scars on her inner thighs that I didn't really notice previous that he inflicted. Scars? WTF did he do to her besides rape her? That's messed up...
Author exsequor Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 they're just faint scars around her inner thighs and that area... but regardless, it hurts thinking about it, but it's better to just know that it happened and that can't be changed, so it's best to just move on. Btw the guy that did this to her was like 20, but she hasn't given me too many specific details (and I'm glad for that...)
genki Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Im curious since Im in a similar situation have you never thought about beating the life out of the guy? Tracking him down and getting him back? seeking justice for her?
Author exsequor Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Oh when she first told me up until now, I talked about and thought of many scenarios of meeting this douchebag and taking him out of the genepool. But I have to get beyond thinking that because, they were both incredibly drunk, and obviously she has no idea who this ******* is. I won't lie...I wish she did. This was obviously several years ago, so she's had time to recover, but still...the thought of my sweetie being taken advantage of by some horny 20 year old dude just makes my blood boil =P.
genki Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 Oh I see. Both drunk, unknown people/guy, no real information available for you such as name, address etc
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