almosthere Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Have you ever felt like you found the PERFECT person for you, but you cannot have them? Or they are taken? If they were perfect for you would that mean you have to be perfect for them too? What denotes a great couple/relationship? Is it normal to feel that no matter how much I like them, if they don't like me then we are not a good match and its for the better? Sorry, I am struggling with these things.
IrishCarBomb Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Seriously, you're getting really creepy. She doesn't like you. She has a boyfriend. This is not a fairy tale. She will not magically realize that you're perfect for her and you will live happily ever after together. You're a senior in high school, and as much as you think you are grown up, you still have a LONG way to go. There's no way for you to know that she's perfect for you, because you still have yet to develop into your full person.
Author almosthere Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Seriously, you're getting really creepy. She doesn't like you. She has a boyfriend. This is not a fairy tale. She will not magically realize that you're perfect for her and you will live happily ever after together. You're a senior in high school, and as much as you think you are grown up, you still have a LONG way to go. There's no way for you to know that she's perfect for you, because you still have yet to develop into your full person. Agreed. But I would not say she doesn't like me, thats definitely not for sure. I just want to "talk it out" on here.
RecordProducer Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Have you ever felt like you found the PERFECT person for you Yes, several times. You just THINK he is right for you; that doesn't mean he really is. I knew my first husband for 6 years before we started dating and I was convinced he was great. I found out that I had no idea who he was until we started living together. If they were perfect for you would that mean you have to be perfect for them too? What denotes a great couple/relationship? Yes and no. My ex-BF thought I was the woman of his dreams and I didn't see him as the man of my dreams. But maybe I saw what he couldn't see. If a person is charming, playful, intelligent, and humorous, you might think of them as your soul mate, but they might not find you equally intriguing. Also, different people look for different things. There are several different types of men that are attracted to me, but I am only attracted to one type - which I haven't found yet. I believe this is the case with most people. There is also compatibility. E.g. everybody wants to be with a stable, reliable, honest person - even the slippery types. And finally, the most superficial example: no matter how average, fat, skinny, tall, short one is - everyone falls for a certain physical ideal. Is it normal to feel that no matter how much I like them, if they don't like me then we are not a good match and its for the better?Yes, if they don't like you back, you're not a perfect match. Maybe someone similar to him, but who will be interested in you; but not that very person. Sorry, I am struggling with these things. Don't be. I am sure he is a jerk.
Author almosthere Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Yes, several times. You just THINK he is right for you; that doesn't mean he really is. I knew my first husband for 6 years before we started dating and I was convinced he was great. I found out that I had no idea who he was until we started living together. Yes and no. My ex-BF thought I was the woman of his dreams and I didn't see him as the man of my dreams. But maybe I saw what he couldn't see. If a person is charming, playful, intelligent, and humorous, you might think of them as your soul mate, but they might not find you equally intriguing. Also, different people look for different things. There are several different types of men that are attracted to me, but I am only attracted to one type - which I haven't found yet. I believe this is the case with most people. There is also compatibility. E.g. everybody wants to be with a stable, reliable, honest person - even the slippery types. And finally, the most superficial example: no matter how average, fat, skinny, tall, short one is - everyone falls for a certain physical ideal. Yes, if they don't like you back, you're not a perfect match. Maybe someone similar to him, but who will be interested in you; but not that very person. Don't be. I am sure he is a jerk. I am a guy. lol. Really. I am only 17 but I have never felt like this before.
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 This is your first spin around the block with infatuation/limerance/puppy love. There's no such thing as the one, only levels of compatibility. Even though you may be highly compatible, it won't necessarily bring the chemistry, while sometimes the reverse holds true, in that you're not compatible but you have major chemistry. So...what was my point? Hell, who knows. Get out there into the dating market. Flirt with as many girls as you can and see who responds with big green lights. If so, ask her out, one and all. Just don't do the player thing. Sooner or later, you will find the right person with the numbers game. I'm not a big proponent of it but it seems to work for a lot of guys.
Author almosthere Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 This is your first spin around the block with infatuation/limerance/puppy love. There's no such thing as the one, only levels of compatibility. Even though you may be highly compatible, it won't necessarily bring the chemistry, while sometimes the reverse holds true, in that you're not compatible but you have major chemistry. So...what was my point? Hell, who knows. Get out there into the dating market. Flirt with as many girls as you can and see who responds with big green lights. If so, ask her out, one and all. Just don't do the player thing. Sooner or later, you will find the right person with the numbers game. I'm not a big proponent of it but it seems to work for a lot of guys. I wish I could find someone I like as much as her. I am the farthest thing from a "player." I am interested in dating someone only if I feel I could potentially see myself marrying them. Also, my standards are set VERY high. If a girl is a 9 I would only consider her, and I know I sound like a jackass. But, this girl is a 9/10, like many others I know, but only she is perfect in every other aspect. If only she would just dump her boyfriend;)
Trialbyfire Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I wish I could find someone I like as much as her. I am the farthest thing from a "player." I am interested in dating someone only if I feel I could potentially see myself marrying them. Also, my standards are set VERY high. If a girl is a 9 I would only consider her, and I know I sound like a jackass. But, this girl is a 9/10, like many others I know, but only she is perfect in every other aspect. If only she would just dump her boyfriend;) Okay. Time to slow it down. You're 17. Finding marriage material is so far off in the future, it should be like looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, for you. Get out and date. Seriously. Remember, looks are transient. While physical attraction is important, better that you like a girl first, before luurrrvvving her. Capisce? Also, don't poach.
RecordProducer Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 17? Never felt like that before? Well, when would you have time to feel like this BEFORE? In kindergarten? OK, I know how these young-age comments used to piss me off when I was much younger, but trust me, you wil discover so many truths and lies as you age.
Dynamo Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 I'm in the same boat as you man, although I'm a bit older. It's hard, trust me I know, but you just got to learn to live and let live - constantly thinking about her, double-guessing your actions and thinking about what "Could have been" between you two doesn't help anyone. I know your not going to like what I have to say but it's for your best. Do you think she thinks about you nearly as much as you think about her? Do you honestly believe, deep down, she has the same burning desire for you as you do for her? You are 17, and already considering marriage material? Isn't that a bit extreme? Don't worry though man I know EXACTLY how you feel - I'm in the same situation, but slightly worse: The guy the girl of my dreams is dating is my best friend. So that adds a whole nother level to the whole ordeal. Just give it time, and learn to move on. There are a lot of other women out there, and trust me, you only being 17 certainly means you have plenty of time to find the right one
BeautifulMystique Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 Have you ever felt like you found the PERFECT person for you, but you cannot have them? Or they are taken? Yes, I have. He is married so he is off-limit! If they were perfect for you would that mean you have to be perfect for them too? I don't know if I have to be perfect for him but I haven't heard any complains yet. Things just didn't work out. What denotes a great couple/relationship? I am in my late twenties and I am still figuring that one out. Is it normal to feel that no matter how much I like them, if they don't like me then we are not a good match and its for the better? It is for the better.
Author almosthere Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 Mutual friends (hers) talked to her today and we are gonna talk over the break at some point. They will let me know the good or bad news. Really though, the physical attraction is what is overpowering, and I can't find one girl in the world that looks as good to ME as she does. But again, she grew on me, so it has to be more. I really don't know.
Pedigree Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 They will let me know the good or bad news. Really though, the physical attraction is what is overpowering, and I can't find one girl in the world that looks as good to ME as she does I don't know about you but I think that physical attraction alone is not enough to justify the "OMG, she's PERFECT for me" feeling that you're having. Have you got at least some idea of what this girl is like as a person?
Author almosthere Posted November 22, 2007 Author Posted November 22, 2007 I don't know about you but I think that physical attraction alone is not enough to justify the "OMG, she's PERFECT for me" feeling that you're having. Have you got at least some idea of what this girl is like as a person? Thats the thing, I DO love her as a person just as much, thats why the attraction grew.
Trialbyfire Posted November 22, 2007 Posted November 22, 2007 Thats the thing, I DO love her as a person just as much, thats why the attraction grew. Do us a favour and tell us all about her. What are her strengths, weakness and what do you love about her? Try to stay away from the physical aspect.
Author almosthere Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Do us a favour and tell us all about her. What are her strengths, weakness and what do you love about her? Try to stay away from the physical aspect. Will do. She is not smart academically, not that that is a positive attribute, but it is not a negative to me She laughs a lot, not cocky in the least Has a similar sense of humor as mine She isn't fake She is a very down to earth girl, she may not be smart academically but she is not by any means a "dumb blonde" type, plus she is brunette Think politician mixed with comedian, that might be accurate She loves to have fun and laugh Is that good?
Author almosthere Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 Will do. She is not smart academically, not that that is a positive attribute, but it is not a negative to me She laughs a lot, not cocky in the least Has a similar sense of humor as mine She isn't fake She is a very down to earth girl, she may not be smart academically but she is not by any means a "dumb blonde" type, plus she is brunette Think politician mixed with comedian, that might be accurate She loves to have fun and laugh Is that good? So??? What do you think about my "analysis"? lol
Trialbyfire Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 I'm going to paraphrase your response: She's not too bright. She likes to laugh and has a similar sense of humour, likes to have fun. She seems down-to-earth. She's brunette. She can be tactful. Is this accurate?
Recommended Posts