whichwayisup Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 Ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed. If a girl was calling you alot throughout the day. Meeting at coffee shops, hanging out, spending time together. I'm sure your gf would NOT like it one bit and she'd be feeling jealous and concerned. Problem is, noone knows the intention of the other guy...You know your gf, she says she isn't going to cheat on you, you gotta trust her. Bottomline is, if she cheats on you, she cheats on you..It's out of your control seeing as you're so far away. Choice right now is yours, have enough faith that what you two have is strong enough to get through this, trust her judgement and hope that if this guy DOES make a move on her, she'll tell him to F-OFF. Or, break up now because this is no way to be in a relationship.
Author kopper2003 Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Well she's going to be studying economics at Uni of Melb dancinggal We talked more about the issue. I suppose she has a better understanding of the problem from my side now. However, she decided to go to the program tomorrow anyways with the guy friend - and even though I absolutely don't like the idea, I didn't disapprove. Just told her in a light hearted manner that she shouldn't sit too close to him or let others think that he's her bf I did have a crappy dream at night..the guy sitting next to her and rubbing shoulders . I told her that too..and she just reassured me of her love for me and how she's just mine, and her love's just mine Regarding her feelings if she were in my shoes...well to be honest I don't think I have ever put her in that position..I always tend to avoid situations where she has to be jealous of somebody else. But I asked her nevertheless to think how she would feel if she were in my position and I had just one lone female friend in the city who was becoming my lifeline out of boredom. And she told me that she wouldn't have any problem whatsoever if it made me happy..kept me in a good mood..and also at the same time it didn't threaten my love for her..my affection and commitment to her. She was like, "it seems you would rather have me sulk and be bitter and lonely at home, maybe resentful towards you too, instead of living a fun life which involves nothing but hanging out with a good friend, and always having you on my mind as my sole lover..". I kinda freaked out when she used the word "lifeline" for this guy friend..saying that he got a lot of stuff and he was just someone she could talk to without him being judgmental and all. I calmly told her that I DO have a problem with someone else becoming her emotional lifeline..and especially if it's another guy. We haven't exactly sorted this out completely..i plan to talk to her soon about it though.. We have plans long-term..and we don't finish university for another three years or four....so we'll be in an LDR for quite some time. These small issues are potentially exhausting elements, we both realise...so we just agreed to work on them. I trust my gf a 110%..and I know for sure that if the guy does indeed make a move (which I am sure he won't), my girl WILL ask him to F-OFF. But...i guess i have a problem with overly clingy guy friends even if they are JUST good friends :S Is that unnatural?
Author kopper2003 Posted November 23, 2007 Author Posted November 23, 2007 Maybe if there was a way to spice up our relationship from so far away, I'd feel less of a need to go find fun and excitement in other places. I hope that makes sense!!! I understand just what you mean...we have pretty much the same problem really. Actually, we are in constant touch when we are both awake. And maybe that's why we sometimes run out of things to talk about... Most of the time all we talk about is what we ate through the day...what she watched on tv....what deadlines i have coming up..and that's pretty much it. (so it does make sense for me to be jealous when she herself tells me she is having a jolly good time and a lot of fun conversations with her new friend, no?) But as i said in my previous post, I told her we have to do sth about this issue..and we haven't talked about it yet. maybe tomorrow. To spice things up..welll...i sent her a birthday card from here..and a package containing some cheap jewelery and a teddy and since we kind of take special note of the date of the month on which we got together, she sent me a 'monthesary' letter which I should receive soon too . Besides all that, there's a bit of cute babytalk and quite a bit of intimate conversations between the two of us which makes us both kind of sparkly.
dancinggal Posted November 24, 2007 Posted November 24, 2007 Yeah, I can understand why you would be jealous of her new friend in that case. But just so you know, you guys are doing a lot more than we do. I used to write a lot, but stopped because he didn't have time to write back and it just felt stupid doing it myself. We do text and phone a lot, but nothing too intimate, mostly boring everyday stuff. I love the monthly letter thing! So cute! I know its hard to inject something fun and new and exciting into a long distance relationship.
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