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Control/resentment?


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I'm currently a senior in college, yet feel like i'm back in high school when dealing with a professor of mine. When I first came here, we were flirty with one another, she would email a lot about random things...all in all, we both enjoyed it. After a few months I debated whether all this extra attention she was giving was the result of her being interested or if she was just having fun.

Then an incident changed our dynamic: She had emailed me about some info for an foriegn exchange program, asking if I wanted even more info...and I declined. Well, I had a change of heart a few hours after and accepted. The info, however, never came. The next class she was looking at me with teary eyes and didn't speak a word. I felt bad. I was interested in this woman and at that point, felt like I had blown it. So, rather than letting it blow over, I emailed her, asking her why she didn't send the info and if everything was ok (although it was a little more brash)...it felt horrible to see that look in her eyes and honestly, I didn't know what to do (for the record, I have been to therapy since). After this happened, she began acting childish towards me (rolling her eyes, calling me by the wrong name in class, and graded a lot tougher).

 

Over the course of the next year we developed a very push and pull relationship. At this point I questioned what is was she wanted: an ego boost or was she struggling with some feelings?

 

The push and pull, ups and downs, continued for months. Sometimes she wouldn't respond to messages/questions, other times she would write telling me how overwhelmed she's feeling with everything. To this day it continues.

 

I guess I lost my grip after what happened (above) and felt like there was no way to regain her trust. Yet, every time I to back away from this woman she comes closer, and when I get closer, she backs away.

 

Am I reading too much into this? I'm interested in this woman but am incredibly shy.

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