mlchris2 Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 okay, I'm here for some advice, comments and suggestions. i will try to keep this short. I recently started talkin to this girl i work with, been going on now for at least a month. We get along great and converse on just about any topic, etc. I finally asked her to come hang out with me and some friends, as expected, she didnt show up. i blew it off and we continued to talk to her on a daily basis. She finally called me at a Halloween party and said she wanted to hang out. the night went great. we went out dancing, got close... then i find out she has a BF and things arent going to well. Being the nice guy i am, i gave her my advice and told her to forget it for tonight. We snuggled while wathchin a movie at my place for the rest of the night and she went home. I got a txt msg when she got home , it read "thanks for the best night ever". well weve been talkin ever since. I finally got to learn alot more about her and she is really truly amazing. i did get her to hang out with me. we went bowling and did kareokee. this time around, things were alot more sensual than before. we kissed and got really really close. i stopped things before they got to a uncomfortable point. she decided to go home. well by now i am going crazy. i told her i needed her to tell me whats going on between us. i told her im crushin on her. her response was "I like how our relationship is going. I've never meet anyone like you and i love it". I left it at that. i decided to step back a little bit, cause im really crushin on this girl. i know i need to stop, cause of the whole BF issue and because I dont want to ruin things by going crazy over her. I decided to let her initiate conversations. i thought that things would go unsaid for awhile, but she starts converstations with me and tells me to txt her later that night. I try to be strong, but i am thinking about her alot and her converstaions make me smile when my days going bad, etc. etc. so what do i need to do so i dont jeopardize her and our friendship? it's getting bad, each day i can think of another reason why she's perfect... but then i remember she has a BF. your advise and comments are really appriciated. thanks,
MatsumeKazuo Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I like how you're making it so that she's initiating the conversations, but that's not enough. She can't have her cake and eat it, too. You need to let her know that to be with you, she has to lose the boyfriend.
kymberann Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 That should have been the number one thing. Lose the boyfriend before proceeding with a beyond friends relationship! Tread carefully!
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Sorry, but I disagree with the above poster. You do not know the current state of her relationship. It maybe going sour or having big problems. If she likes you and you obviously like her, go for it. All will reveal itself and it sounds like she will be with you and the bf is on the outs (if not already). Go for it and report back to us.......
Author mlchris2 Posted November 21, 2007 Author Posted November 21, 2007 B.R.B. - thanks for your willingness to give a guy some encouragement to just ask. i was really hesitant today, but i finally had the guts to sit her down and tell her how i felt, what i wanted and what i expected. To my surprise, she broke down and told me she was falling for me and several other things that flat out made me smile and blush. All this time, I knew it, but i had to keep telling myself. but the situation at hand is putting a stop to things going further. she said her relationship is back and forth with the current BF and the fact we work together has a small portion to do with it as well. She divulged alot of information that shocked the socks off me. I told her that regardless of what happens, I'm kewl with being her friend, someone she can hang with, someone she can flirt with and left the ball in her court. honestly I am. i believe in everything happens for a reason, some may not. I am okay with the situation. I think its good we can flirt, learn about one another, talk, etc. I'm not going to stop dating and seeing other women, after all, were not together. I may have found the person of my dreams, but until she's actually mine... im not going to stop talking and dating other women. (and we talked about that too)
Blue Eyed Brain Posted November 21, 2007 Posted November 21, 2007 B.R.B. - thanks for your willingness to give a guy some encouragement to just ask. i was really hesitant today, but i finally had the guts to sit her down and tell her how i felt, what i wanted and what i expected. To my surprise, she broke down and told me she was falling for me and several other things that flat out made me smile and blush. All this time, I knew it, but i had to keep telling myself. but the situation at hand is putting a stop to things going further. she said her relationship is back and forth with the current BF and the fact we work together has a small portion to do with it as well. She divulged alot of information that shocked the socks off me. I told her that regardless of what happens, I'm kewl with being her friend, someone she can hang with, someone she can flirt with and left the ball in her court. honestly I am. i believe in everything happens for a reason, some may not. I am okay with the situation. I think its good we can flirt, learn about one another, talk, etc. I'm not going to stop dating and seeing other women, after all, were not together. I may have found the person of my dreams, but until she's actually mine... im not going to stop talking and dating other women. (and we talked about that too) Damn, I so do love it when I am right.... (sorry) Glad you were able to tell her how you feel. You do know that this will only make her feelings for you more intense (over time) along with flirting. It will be inevitable that you two will be together. Enjoy the time you have to explore and enjoy your time with her....
Author mlchris2 Posted November 25, 2007 Author Posted November 25, 2007 Here's something I dont understand... why is she playing the cat and mouse game with me? Im starting to wonder if I can handle this... this last week was really hard. I realize more and more that I'm falling for her and she keeps doing and saying things that make it even harder to just sit back and wait....
Author mlchris2 Posted December 7, 2007 Author Posted December 7, 2007 here's an update.... she flat out stopped talking to me for about a week, just cold turkey. well i heard through the grapevine she got engaged over the weekend. so i asked her about it. her response was as expected.... "i didnt know how to tell you, in fact i didnt really want to... i was dreading it since it happened". well my heart sank at this point. i passed on the congrats and told her i was crushed, but thrilled for her at the same time. I even went as far as telling her this guy better treat her like a queen or else i will kick is ace. lol. she ended the conversation with this "its so complicated. i wish i could tell you. Thanks for the kind words, Im happy, but you have no idea..." So here i sit... wondering what the hell??? My dad taught me to live and learn, i guess in this situation its true.
kymberann Posted December 7, 2007 Posted December 7, 2007 Sorry to hear of the update. now you know and can move on.
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