alli02 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 is it possible for a man that has a history of cheating to be with someone and not do it to them??? i am currently involved with a man that was married for 3 years and claimed to love the woman more than anything...yet he still cheated on her. now he is engaged to another woman...they have been engaged for about a year...but has had sex with 2 other woman while with him...now me. he tells me he does not love his fiance and that he is trying to figure out a way to end it...he told me that he proposed to her because he didnt want to be alone...he also says that he needs her financially...i am currently between jobs so i am not in the position to help him out in that area...he also tells me that he doesnt think it is just sex between me and him is there any reason for me to believe that we could have an actual relationship...or is he going to do the same thing to me??? is it possible for a man to change??
imstunned Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 When I started readng your post I assumed this man was with YOU. That he is engaged to somebody else and has cheated on her with 2 other women besides your self. I never ever like to sound harsh to anyone on these threads - but why would this man change with all these women prepared to sleep with him despite the fact that he is engaged/married or whatever. Looks like a serial cheater to me. xx
passionateconfusion Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Serial Cheater - run away fast - sounds like this guy has no regard or respect for women.
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 is it possible for a man that has a history of cheating to be with someone and not do it to them??? i am currently involved with a man that was married for 3 years and claimed to love the woman more than anything...yet he still cheated on her. now he is engaged to another woman...they have been engaged for about a year...but has had sex with 2 other woman while with him...now me. he tells me he does not love his fiance and that he is trying to figure out a way to end it...he told me that he proposed to her because he didnt want to be alone...he also says that he needs her financially...i am currently between jobs so i am not in the position to help him out in that area...he also tells me that he doesnt think it is just sex between me and him is there any reason for me to believe that we could have an actual relationship...or is he going to do the same thing to me??? is it possible for a man to change?? He's not even married to this woman and he said he can't end it????? Come on.. He needs her financially... what a pathetic loser... I just can't believe that you are even questioning this... It is OBVIOUS... .YES he WILL do the same to you... why would it be different with you... My-my ... I just can't believe posts like that... what is it with you women? Are you sooo desperate, you will settle for just any idiots? NOOOOOO this guy WON'T change..
Cobra_X30 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 is there any reason for me to believe that we could have an actual relationship...or is he going to do the same thing to me??? is it possible for a man to change?? Nope, Your just getting used! You cannot change him! What does he have that you want anyway? I'm sorry but he sounds like a total loser! Good Lord he cant leave because he needs her $$$? I'm not sure how this guy cheats on anybody.
Author alli02 Posted November 19, 2007 Author Posted November 19, 2007 this is not typical for me to even consider anything with someone like this.... i met this man 3 weeks ago and at first had no interest in him...he even asked a mutual friend what she thought his chances with me were and i said that he had no chance at all i have not been very happy for the past coupe of years and had mild depression...he makes me laugh and we have fun together...he says hes not happy with the way things are but in the past coupe weeks he has been happier...they both have children living at home...but none together...and i think that has a lot to do with why he hasnt left her yet... i know i am being very naive...
child_of_isis Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 A poor serial cheater at that! pun pun pun ;-)Serial Cheater - run away fast - sounds like this guy has no regard or respect for women.
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 this is not typical for me to even consider anything with someone like this.... i met this man 3 weeks ago and at first had no interest in him...he even asked a mutual friend what she thought his chances with me were and i said that he had no chance at all i have not been very happy for the past coupe of years and had mild depression...he makes me laugh and we have fun together...he says hes not happy with the way things are but in the past coupe weeks he has been happier...they both have children living at home...but none together...and i think that has a lot to do with why he hasnt left her yet... i know i am being very naive... Yes you are very naive my dear... This guy is a master manipulator... I know the kind... he will hurt you cause he doesn't give a sh*t about you. You sound like a smart woman... so I wonder why you even consider this guy. He's a waste of your time and energy... trust me on that one. This guy knows exactly what to say, how to say it and to whom to say it... and he will go to great lengths (third party) to get what he wants.. then once he gets it... you're a waste of his time... and he will move on.
Gwyneth Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Sorry, but he sounds like a walking disease. Sounds like an ex of mine (the scumb bag). He has some growing up to do. We have discussed this before in this room--there are men who cheat, and there are men that cheat like it's their job. This is the man who cheats like it's his job. Sounds like he doesn't know anything else--sad, isn't it? I'm sure he really did love the woman he said he loved. He's engaged now, and has 3 other women on the side? Isn't one woman on the side enough? Wow, he has some game going on. It's quite risky of you to sleep with a man who has three other woman he's also sleeping with at the same time. Like I said, walking disease. Just think about how many other men the other two mistresses are sleeping with. You are all swapping those germs. Yucky. Drop him like yesterday's trash, please. Do yourself that favor and prevent yourself from the worst of all, the STD. That would be my main concern.
Meaplus3 Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 is it possible for a man that has a history of cheating to be with someone and not do it to them??? i am currently involved with a man that was married for 3 years and claimed to love the woman more than anything...yet he still cheated on her. now he is engaged to another woman...they have been engaged for about a year...but has had sex with 2 other woman while with him...now me. he tells me he does not love his fiance and that he is trying to figure out a way to end it...he told me that he proposed to her because he didnt want to be alone...he also says that he needs her financially...i am currently between jobs so i am not in the position to help him out in that area...he also tells me that he doesnt think it is just sex between me and him is there any reason for me to believe that we could have an actual relationship...or is he going to do the same thing to me??? is it possible for a man to change?? I would think for some men that could be possible, but it does not sound that way for this guy. He's engaged and has cheated on her twice? Come on now! Think about that! AP:)
Author alli02 Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Sorry, but he sounds like a walking disease. Sounds like an ex of mine (the scumb bag). He has some growing up to do. We have discussed this before in this room--there are men who cheat, and there are men that cheat like it's their job. This is the man who cheats like it's his job. Sounds like he doesn't know anything else--sad, isn't it? I'm sure he really did love the woman he said he loved. He's engaged now, and has 3 other women on the side? Isn't one woman on the side enough? Wow, he has some game going on. It's quite risky of you to sleep with a man who has three other woman he's also sleeping with at the same time. Like I said, walking disease. Just think about how many other men the other two mistresses are sleeping with. You are all swapping those germs. Yucky. Drop him like yesterday's trash, please. Do yourself that favor and prevent yourself from the worst of all, the STD. That would be my main concern. he is not with all of us now...the other 2 that he cheated with are no longer around, they were just 1 time things...i would not have sex with a man if i knew he was also having sex with 3 other women...he isnt even sleeping with the woman he is engaged to...or at least that is what he tells me.... ok so anyway i get the point i need to get rid of him....this is what my original thought was anyway
Gwyneth Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 he is not with all of us now...the other 2 that he cheated with are no longer around, they were just 1 time things...i would not have sex with a man if i knew he was also having sex with 3 other women...he isnt even sleeping with the woman he is engaged to...or at least that is what he tells me.... ok so anyway i get the point i need to get rid of him....this is what my original thought was anyway Oh, I apologize. I was confused by what you were saying. Well, I'm glad you have this figured out before you end up engaged to him, and he has a mistress on the side. Stick around here long enough and you'll become bitter toward cheating men as I have...it doesn't take long...
bish Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 is it possible for a man that has a history of cheating to be with someone and not do it to them??? Winning the lottery is "possible"
Lizzie60 Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 he is not with all of us now...the other 2 that he cheated with are no longer around, they were just 1 time things...i would not have sex with a man if i knew he was also having sex with 3 other women...he isnt even sleeping with the woman he is engaged to...or at least that is what he tells me.... ok so anyway i get the point i need to get rid of him....this is what my original thought was anyway OMG... I really feel sorry for you... I really do...geezzzz how can you be so naive... how old are you? Of course... he is sleeping with other women but NOT with his fiancée... hahahaha... really...
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Changing partners will not change a serial cheater. The changes he would have to make in order not to cheat anymore would have to be all internal, and done completely because he wants to change. If he cannot acknowledge that the problem lies in himself, and if he will not take the steps to make changes in order to fix those problems then he will end up cheating on anyone he is with. It would only be a matter of time.
GreenEyedLady Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 If he's having sex with that many women and you, I don't see why he would be just faithful to one woman at this time... I don't know why you'd put up with that arrangement...sounds pretty risky to me...
RecordProducer Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 is it possible for a man that has a history of cheating to be with someone and not do it to them??? Not the man that you described. He is a serial cheater. he tells me he does not love his fiance and that he is trying to figure out a way to end it...And you believe him? he told me that he proposed to her because he didnt want to be alone... Again, you believe him? he also says that he needs her financially...From a cheater, he advances to a gigolo. i am currently between jobs so i am not in the position to help him out in that area...Thank god or you would volunteer to be used as a cash machine! he also tells me that he doesnt think it is just sex between me and himHe is telling you what you want to hear. He will marry his fiancee (unless she finds out and dumps him) and he will always cheat on her with many women after you. is there any reason for me to believe that we could have an actual relationship...or is he going to do the same thing to me???You fell in love with a dog and your heart will inevitably be broken. I suggest you get yourself out of that unhealthy affair and move on before it's too late, before someone gets pregnant or an STD.
norajane Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 You fell in love with a dog and your heart will inevitably be broken. I suggest you get yourself out of that unhealthy affair and move on before it's too late, before someone gets pregnant or an STD. Yes, and please give some serious thought as to why you would even entertain the thought of being with him. This should really, really have been a no-brainer.
justice Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 This is clearly not the man for you, nor, any other self respecting woman. Put yourself in his fiance's shoes. How would you like to be her right now? Were I you or her, I'd be getting as far away from him as I possibly could, this man is no good for anyone but himself.
frannie Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 is it possible for a man that has a history of cheating to be with someone and not do it to them??? i am currently involved with a man that was married for 3 years and claimed to love the woman more than anything...yet he still cheated on her. now he is engaged to another woman...they have been engaged for about a year...but has had sex with 2 other woman while with him...now me. he tells me he does not love his fiance and that he is trying to figure out a way to end it...he told me that he proposed to her because he didnt want to be alone...he also says that he needs her financially...i am currently between jobs so i am not in the position to help him out in that area...he also tells me that he doesnt think it is just sex between me and him is there any reason for me to believe that we could have an actual relationship...or is he going to do the same thing to me??? is it possible for a man to change?? Yes, it is possible for a person to change. But the kind of things this man is doing, the person his is, well it would take a lot of work, a lot of desire and hard, hard work on his part to make those changes. And first of all, he has no desire to change. And secondly, he has no motivation to change. Especially why would he, with you and other women prepared to give him sex and money and ask so little (like fidelity) in return. So no... I don't see anything changing for this man.
ICallsEmAsISeesEm Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 ...he also says that he needs her financially...i am currently between jobs so i am not in the position to help him out in that area...Why should you HAVE to help this user financially? Surely you wouldn't lower youself for this loser even MORE by helping him financially????? This jerk doesn't have an HONEST bone in his body. He uses women for a multitude of things and thinks it's A-OK to do so. He's currently engaged to some woman because 'he didn't want to be alone' and because he 'needs her financially.' PUKE. What a USER and LOSER. He's also a serial cheater to boot. I haven't read ONE positive thing about this waste of life. ...he isnt even sleeping with the woman he is engaged to...or at least that is what he tells me....LOL...I wouldn't believe this lying sack of sh*t if he told me the sun was shining outside - I'd have to look out the window MYSELF. Don't worry about this piece of garbage being hurt if you dump him. You're just one in a long string of MANY to come.
Ms_Natalie Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 I believe he is a serial cheat!! He is very flippant regarding marriage, engagement and relationships and I feel this should be a huge warning sign. Dont become another one of his victims. If you feel that you are strong enough to continue this relationship, then do. If you want to avoid heartache, then I suggest you have a good ole chat with him to discover where his true wants and needs lie. You may find that he is truly honest, men (and women) are funny things...but step into this situation with eyes wide open (oh, and ensure those rose tinited spectacles are off) Myself??? I would rather be young, free and single, than share my life with this man...sorry! However; We must understand that not all MM, if they cheat, are doing it for the sex...some are, some arent.... Each individual is different and we should refrain from tarring them all with the same brush!! Good Luch, Sweetheart x
GreenEyedLady Posted November 23, 2007 Posted November 23, 2007 is it possible for a man that has a history of cheating to be with someone and not do it to them??? Even SI does not believe once a cheater always a cheater... I think it has more to do with why the person cheated...
Author alli02 Posted November 24, 2007 Author Posted November 24, 2007 so...i decided to tell him that i can not continue this with him...he told me that he can and is willing to change...i told him that first he needed to leave his fiance...we will see if this ever happens, as of now it has not...and i dont believe that it ever will...so we are prolly over however, i have learned a lot about his relationship with his fiance tho...like when they first got together she was cheating with him on her bf at the time, and she has serious anger management problems, she does not trust him and never has...he didnt start cheating on her until she accused him of it. im not trying to make excuses for him...i see now that he is scum...thank you all for being so honest with me...i needed to hear the things you had to say to wake up and see what was really going on
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