Zuleykha Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Hi everybody. I'd just want to know what you make of my situation. A mature med student (in my 30s), very strong academically, got the brains, the guts, very rational to the point of cynicism. What happens now? I get a crush on one of my former lecturers, 10 years my senior. He is not the most handsome man I've ever seen, and his manners are just plain bad. We have in common a certain bluntness, being to the point, and no fussing about. The same ideas on religion, and relatonships. We are in contact via email. i should be, as he is a leading authority in our field. What I don't like is the way I act around him. I look people in the eyes when I talk. With him I just can't. If he is around I run away, if possible. When he asks me things, my voice is feeble. I think this might come in the way of my research. the other day he was cycling to school. I was walking. We stared at each other for 5 seconds without a blink. Then I had to smile, I was so embarassed. I am not a romantic person, but it's the first time I find myself wanting kids, possibly as ugly as him. I don't think he is in a relationship. No wedding band on his hands. And he is the lone wolf kind. I'd be surprised to know he has a mate. What shall I do? I don't know how to attract a man, and being really timid does not help. On the one hand I'd hate it if he knew I fancy him , but I don't know if I can hide it any longer. Any advice is welcome. Zuleykha
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Um... I don't know what kind of advice I can give you except, go right to him and ask him out... or write him an invite. I am the straightforward, no-beating-around-the-bush type of woman.. so I say.. go for it!!!!! It will probably work.. from what I read, he might be just waiting for you to do the first steps as he might be too proud and not sure enough about how you feel... some men don,t like to get a 'no' for an answer. You go girl!
jcster Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Since he's older, and an authority in your field, he's probably waiting for you to make some sort of move. For him to do it would be unprofessional and morally suspect. You really should ask him out - if he says no, then you will at least be cured of your ailment.
Author Zuleykha Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Thank you for the replies. As a scientist I do agree with the last post. No man turns down free sex. I wish I could go as you say Lizzie. But that is the only part of my life in which I just can't act spontaneously and do as I feel. I need some tactics here. The chances to meet are decreasing, and I must make the most of what I have got. Asking him out is too much for me. Any tips?
Yamaha Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 You need to flirt (and be bold about it). Look him in the eye, touch him whan you talk, let him know you enjoy his company. If he doesn't pick up on the flirting then he may not be the guy for you.
Author Zuleykha Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Allright. This is what we would do if we were in the 'natural state'. I am going for it. That would be me. I'll keep you posted.
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