carolinaboy Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Havent posted on here in a while. Havent seen my ex in a month. We broke up 5 mos ago after 2 1/2 years. I've been NC. It feels weird to say we've been broken up for 5 mos. Last I heard she had to do meth for a drug/blood study in San Francisco for lots of money, so she could get cash. I hung out with her sister, our old friends and I didnt bring her name up at all. Her sister brought her up to someone else while I was around. It was strange. I miss her. I have quit drinking for an unforeseeable amount of time. It wasnt helping. I'm tired of being depressed. She's obviously moved on. I don't think about her ALL the time anymore, I understand we're over, I just wish it had worked out differently. The meth thing bums me out, just cos I could see her doing it and I understand that we are indeed two different people. Im not judging, cos I know she isnt an addictive personality. She just did it for the money and she's into weird stuff like that, Hunter S. Thompson type stuff. Maybe one day I'll be over it. I want the drunk hookups that never amount to anything to end. Want to go out on some dates or just click with someone. I think I should figure some stuff out solitary before I go back into that one again.
Uhriventis Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I'm not sure a state government would sponsor a study on methamphetamine. The drug was discovered in 1818 and many studies have already been done. Hitler was administering it to his troops as well as himself and JFK was injected with it to keep him going (He had Addison's disease) The point being did someone lie to you saying that it was sponcered as an excuse as why she is using? She would move on fast if she is using amphetamines... You don't really think much while on them.
Author carolinaboy Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 this is her blog to her sister. sounds real. I was wondering the same thing about illegality too. it's non of my business. i'm just bummed. its her life, i am not in it anymore (half by choice). i just miss her and dont know why shes doing meth other than for cash and some notoriety. NOTES FRM THE (METH) LAB i'm in the meth lab. this is day 3. the pills so far have been placebo i suspect, some minty sublinguals with no apparent affect. tomorrow they dope me then the next 4 days give me the real lobeline then meth one more time two days of recovery and observation and i'm out. i've been left alone for the most part nurses come in and out to collect my voids and give me pills every four hrs. every now and then this Korean dude pops in to give me fruit. calls me young girl, "young girl i brought you this" rounds the curtin holding a banana or small apple. i'm in one of those ass exposed gowns with an iv in my arm that they draw blood from. and even though i feel fine it's hard to not slip into the roll of patient in a sick bed. so i've been sleeping a lot and making a lot of demands and inspiring a lot of pity out of some twisted dedication to the garb. i'll probably end up writing you more but it's about time for my 12:00 dose. on my window view: smoke from the roof large metal pipes a bird flys )))))))))))))))))))))))))) arm with out the needle i reach for the apple in the cup and find that it is small +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ return my library items ass hole. is it still the cage,jad fare, porn tapes? you fool your mucking up my good name. yeah thats right it's me. i got email again. theres this roving laptop that you have to call dibs on so i got this thing until 4:00 today then i have to make another request. i probably won't have it tomorrow though. tomorrow is my big day theyre going to administer the meth. i'll have all sorts of wires cliped to tabs that nervous fumbly nurses stick to my chest an legs i'm really glad this isnt a lsd study. theyre probably going to be swarming me all day,wonder how thats going to be on a head full of meth.fck! they usually leave me pretty well alone sept to dose me every four hrs. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
melodymatters Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 No way. This has got to be a hoax. Whether it's her to you, her to her sis, regardless, they are not legally testing meth on people for cash, no way, no how.
Author carolinaboy Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 yeah.... i dunno. it is most likely not true. she may have just done a sleep deprivation/blood test thing and wrote a story about how they dosed her w/ meth or something. that's totally her style. the mentions of lobeline and whatnot really made it convincing. maybe she's just a really great writer. haha. just to have not seen her in a while and to know that her and her sis do whatever they can to avoid work, i didnt put it past her. man, i feel embarrassed. well, either way, I miss her, no meth is good news and thanks for setting me straight everybody.
melodymatters Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 ok wait, I remeber you now ( I think) they were twins right, your ex and her sis ? Are you all in the same state now ? Whats the update ?
Author carolinaboy Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 well its strange....my ex's new guy is in Oakland, she goes out there to see him and he mustve told her about this study (blood/sleep deprivation/apparently not meth), so that was an email on her sisters blog she sent. i saw her sister cos we were both out in NYC for seperate reasons but went out w/ some mutual old friends. i'm just kinda gullible and crazy about the turn of events....learning how to sober up and get my head straight. i didnt even think of the facts when i saw that blog, just kinda was ready for anything.
melodymatters Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 Well sure CB, don't beat up on yourself, life is long, weird and often times stranger than fiction. Glad to see you back here posting ! One question, did you ever have feelings for the twin or visa versa ?
Author carolinaboy Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 no, never really had feelings for the other twin. it was weird, i was attracted to my ex more than her sister, but everyone always told me her sis was prettier. They're identical! haha... nope its also funny too cos while i am friends with her sis, we never really clicked. the twins bf's kind of have to be really tight with the other one or kind of double date vibe (my ex is now dating her sisters bf's close friend, who happens to be her sis's friend too). Before that she dated me and her sis dated a guy i played music/was friends with who had the same first name, build and interests as me. i should just forget about her but w/ the advent of myspace and other technology, its too easy to know what shes up to. i always check out her sis myspace page. i miss her. it's human nature.
Uhriventis Posted November 20, 2007 Posted November 20, 2007 I suspect it isn't real either. I hate to admit to this but, I've used the drug too a couple of times and you would be surprised at what you can come up with in writing. What a dirty drug. Trashy if you ask me. I wouldn't worry about her. Once she gets on coming down and has a period of sobriety then she will think of you, no doubt.
Recommended Posts