2 guys and a girl

[Lucky555]

Currently have been hanging out with this guy. We had been on one "date" last year and after that it was in social settings where we hung out. However, he has always been jealous when i hang out with other "guy" friends. He has not asked me on a date, he has not asked me to be his girlfriend, and he has not made the claim. Therefore i should be free to see other people if i chose so, why would i wait around for someone who doesn't want to be "with" me.

 

Now, the other night i was hanging out with this (different) guy who has a girlfriend but we had been flirting with each other throughout the night. I have always had slight feelings for this guy because he Treats me like i want to be treated its always how i have wanted to be treated. throughout the night he was staying over at my friends place and i am taking my friends bed. He decided to move from the living room to my room saying he could not sleep. Next thing i know he putting his hands under my blankets and "caressing" me. Right then i didn't know what to do because i knew i liked him and have known him for about 3 years now. However, he has a girlfriend but he doesn't appear to be "in love" with her. I would not normally do this but he at least he knows now that i sort of like him..which he didn't before. SOme reasons for this is that he is 8 years older than i am and i am in my early 20's. I have experience dating older guys its all i date my last boyfriend was 30.

 

So i am not in love with these guys but the single guy he doesn't make me feel like the guy who has the girlfriend. The guy with the girlfriend is more experienced and he made me feel comfortable and like i said i had always this thing for him. I may or may not see him again due to our different lives.

 

Now, the single guy, I try to talk to this guy that i am kind of hanging out with but its like he doesn't want to, he will have a good time hanging out with me but wont take anything further than that. Otherwise, I am getting sick of it and on the verge of saying "lets just be friends" I know i like him but my interest is not up there because hes not doing anything except going out socially. The other night I told the guy "i thought we were all friends" So i have thrown it out there hoping that he realizes this is where its heading and i am fine with that but that means i am just his friend and it will remain like that. Things get complicated when u have feelings for someone you hang out with and then not defining "what we are" is just more confusing and i DO not want to waste my time.

 

So what do you all think? here is what i think and tell me ifs its fair, logical, and if its a good idea.

 

I think in this situation, that the guy doesn't want to commit but he likes going out with me and having a good time. However, he wants more to happen between us but he doesn't want to have a girlfriend. He knows that i am not going to do anything without making things exclusive because I am not like that. it also appears that he likes to lead and wants to do things at his own pace and if i pressure him he will just back off. So i will just let thing be where they are and still continue with other people. This situation does not allow me to let myself feel a lot for him because I do not know what he wants. There is no communication, but i know we do have a good time together and have a lot of things in common. I am in no way stringing or leading him on but I can't be sitting like a duck "hoping" because i may end up heartbroken and single.

 

So i will continue meeting people and having a good time. I don't think its right for me to progress with someone who does not want to and i don't think i should be going after the guy with the girlfriend either. SO i am at no win situation. ON the bright side of it all at least i am processing these thoughts and seeing what you all think

[Blue Eyed Brain]

I've never had sex with someone unless I had very strong feelings for them (love). If you want a friends with benefits, that what both of these guys are offering you. Nothing more.

 

It's your choice.

[Lucky555]

At this time i agree this is only friends with benefits right now with both of these guys. I don't do friends with benefits so i am going to keep looking as i am now. Thanks for the input.