Steffie575 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 So after my ex broke up with me for about 2 months I was a WRECK. I cried everyday, talked about him constantly, and tried to call/text him with no avail. I was depressed on my birthday 2 weeks ago and basically nothing anyone could say made me feel better. I listened to sad songs all the time to apparently make myself feel worse. The thing is....the past few days I have felt better. Like.....a lot better. For no reason. I still have a lot of stressful things going on besides him and yet, I feel positive. I feel like I can fix all my problems I have and better yet, get over him as well. I still miss him, but Im not crying everyday. Here's the question. Am i just avoiding the issue? I wont listen to sad songs anymore, and if I begin to think of him, I usually stop immediately and think about something else. For the first few months I wallowed in my pain and grief and thought of nothing else but him. Is it doing me good by focusing on other things and people now? I figure since I already had my period of all the sadness, I am properly handling my feelings, but Im not sure. Sorry if this is confusing, Im even confused, haha. I just wanna know if Im doing the right thing by refusing to be depressed anymore. Thanks.
FindingMyselfAgain Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 You are successfully mastering what I am trying to master. My wound is only four weeks old, so I don't expect to be where you are now. You are doing very well.
ncpd25 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Steffie, I did the same thing. When the break-up first occurred, all I did was think about it, think about her and think about why it happened. I beat myself up, tried to figure out why she walked away. It was horrible. I'm at 9 weeks NC right now. Maybe a week or two ago, I suddenly felt as if things were better. It was strange. I'm not 100% yet and of course, I still think about things. I too, have occasions when something reminds me of her and I "turn my back on it". I don't think I'm ignoring my feelings or in denial. I believe I dealt with my feelings (still am), but my mind is telling me I don't want to hurt anymore. I've regained a more accurate view on things and feel it's time to get on with my life. You're simply going through the motions of a break-up and heartache. You felt the pain, sadness and all of the feelings associated with the initial break-up and your begining to move on. That's a sign of your strength and your will to feel better and get over this. You're right on track. I'm glad things are getting better for you!!! Stay strong!!
michael d Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 aloha steffie. all these people are right on! you are in a great state of recovery and moving on. i wish i could fast forward to that time in the future, because it is less than 2 weeks for me and i am a wreck, crying everyday and can't eat or sleep. extremely sad. you are moving right along the path to recovery. i am hopeful when i read of how people are ok and moving forward. as devastated and scared and hurt as i am by losing my wife, i am beginning to understand the truth from all you guys, that things will be better one day. stay strong. you are strong. and i will try to be as well. thanks. mike d
Crestfallen_KH Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I agree, this is a good sign. I will caution you, though, that it's probably only temporary. You will probably still have several days where you feel miserable, start crying again, etc. That's NORMAL. It simply means you are moving through the various stages. And, as long as you are moving through the stages but don't get stuck in any one, then you're still walking your path. In my case, I am at about the 3 month point and I can honestly say I was doing better two weeks ago than I am now. But that's ok - I expected this, planned for it, and know it's healthy so I'm not freaking out. It's just part of the roller coaster.
Phateless Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 So after my ex broke up with me for about 2 months I was a WRECK. I cried everyday, talked about him constantly, and tried to call/text him with no avail. I was depressed on my birthday 2 weeks ago and basically nothing anyone could say made me feel better. I listened to sad songs all the time to apparently make myself feel worse. The thing is....the past few days I have felt better. Like.....a lot better. For no reason. I still have a lot of stressful things going on besides him and yet, I feel positive. I feel like I can fix all my problems I have and better yet, get over him as well. I still miss him, but Im not crying everyday. Here's the question. Am i just avoiding the issue? I wont listen to sad songs anymore, and if I begin to think of him, I usually stop immediately and think about something else. For the first few months I wallowed in my pain and grief and thought of nothing else but him. Is it doing me good by focusing on other things and people now? I figure since I already had my period of all the sadness, I am properly handling my feelings, but Im not sure. Sorry if this is confusing, Im even confused, haha. I just wanna know if Im doing the right thing by refusing to be depressed anymore. Thanks. You are right on schedule. Keep at it girlie, because if it gets bad again, you know what to do. It came in waves for me, so you might go back to wallowing again for a bit, but remember to snap yourself out of it quickly. This whole process is just hard, there's no way around that. I'm proud of you.
MattyTee Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I know exactly how you feel Steffie and I even questioned it in the same way. Go with it, your body, mind and soul are coping with it in their own time - and as Phateless says you might find it comes in waves, but you know now that things do get better. Best of luck with it all!
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