JMC Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Just got dumped because of the kids, not because of the wife. Ah what a classic. Kids (count 'em, four of 'em) are acting up and feeling neglected with the extreme little time MM and I spend together....and he just cleanly and neatly just cut me out. I told him they're going to be hurt whether he leaves now or when they're all grown up. I know he's doing the right thing, it just pisses me off that he didn't foresee this happening before we got together 3 months ago, so I could have been spared some hurt.
nadiaj2727 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I know he's doing the right thing, it just pisses me off that he didn't foresee this happening before we got together 3 months ago, so I could have been spared some hurt. They don't have any foresight when they're only thinking with their you-know-whats. I'm sorry this is happening, JMC, I know it must be so hard. You are so much better off without him, though! Stay strong!!!
child_of_isis Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Do you believe him? Or do you think he just used the tired old line on you? You only got an "extreme little time" and for only 3 months....? How are you feeling about all of this?
whichwayisup Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Why are you putting all the blame on him? I mean, you could have foreseen it happening too, since you knew he had kids. Things change and he obviously doesn't want a bad relationship with his children, so he changed his mind and ended the A with you. He's being UNselfish and putting the needs of his kids first and his happiness last. Sorry you got hurt along the way, but this is his choice, he has the right to do what HE feels is right/best for the sake of the kids.
Woggle Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 This is actually a very good reason to end the affair. Maybe his concience got to him and he is deciding to end things and focus on his family again. He was wrong for cheating in the first place but he is taking a step back in the right direction.
luvmy2ns Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 IDK, really. Maybe his "spice of life" is starting to taste the same and he needs to shop for a new flavor. Keep on eye out and see if you can catch him doing this. I'd be curious to see what you find out. No reflection on you, just that some are merely cheating scum and nothing more.
Art_Critic Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I know he's doing the right thing, it just pisses me off that he didn't foresee this happening before we got together 3 months ago, so I could have been spared some hurt. Newsflash.. he is married... you didn't foresee that possibility that it wasn't a proper relationship to begin with?.. It is good that you see he is doing the right thing.. but you should also accept it for the same reasons.
reboot Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Why are people always so surprised when WS goes back home?
dbtmarley Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Sorry you hurt... but it is part of the game.. Don't worry there are more out there like him.. Good Luck!!
child_of_isis Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I dunno....I am thinking it to be more about OW becoming emotionally involved and putting pressure on MM. I read her other posts and I get the feeling that she was convinced that her MM was going to be one of the "different" ones. Things change and he obviously doesn't want a bad relationship with his children, so he changed his mind and ended the A with you. He's being UNselfish and putting the needs of his kids first and his happiness last.
Woggle Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 No cheating MM is ever one of the differenct ones. By nature they are already cheating dogs and the sooner women realize this the better.
Meaplus3 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Just got dumped because of the kids, not because of the wife. Ah what a classic. Kids (count 'em, four of 'em) are acting up and feeling neglected with the extreme little time MM and I spend together....and he just cleanly and neatly just cut me out. I told him they're going to be hurt whether he leaves now or when they're all grown up. I know he's doing the right thing, it just pisses me off that he didn't foresee this happening before we got together 3 months ago, so I could have been spared some hurt. I don't think he's using the kid's as an excuse at all. It sound's to me like he woke up and realized that his action's could destroy their lives something in which he does not want to have happen. AP:)
Author JMC Posted November 19, 2007 Author Posted November 19, 2007 I do too, AP. God what is with this board?!! I thought this was supposed to be a supportive place for "Other People" to come and tell their stories and get support, not a place for "Other People" to be heaped upon with criticisms, judgments, "I told ya so"'s that they're already heaping upon themselves. There are some nice people here and I thank you for your insights. And for the record, my back story is complex, so it's not logical or fair to just stereotype my situation without knowing all the details. Also, I've never been involved with someone married before, so no there's no way I "should have known" what was going to happen, or what to expect. Why are so many of you here so mean and judgmental to people you don't even know?
wizer Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Just got dumped because of the kids, not because of the wife. You dont know why you got dumped because you cant believe a word that comes out of the guys mouth. His whole life is a lie right now. If he lies to the woman he's been married to and had children with, what do you think he will do to you? You think you are worth any more to him than she is?
bish Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Just got dumped because of the kids, not because of the wife. Ah what a classic. Kids (count 'em, four of 'em) are acting up and feeling neglected with the extreme little time MM and I spend together....and he just cleanly and neatly just cut me out. I told him they're going to be hurt whether he leaves now or when they're all grown up. I know he's doing the right thing, it just pisses me off that he didn't foresee this happening before we got together 3 months ago, so I could have been spared some hurt. he was suppose to forsee it? What about you? Uh...sorry..he's married. Should have thought about this before you got involved KNOWING he had a wife and kids. Its just too bad his wife didn't find out...she deserves to know. I don't feel the slightest bit sorry for you.
luvmy2ns Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Sorry if you found my post "mean," but please note I did say "no reflection on you." I just think the guy is moving on to another OW. What's wrong with someone having an opinion, just because it differs from yours?
Art_Critic Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 You dont know why you got dumped because you cant believe a word that comes out of the guys mouth. His whole life is a lie right now. If he lies to the woman he's been married to and had children with, what do you think he will do to you? You think you are worth any more to him than she is? Very very good point Whizzer..
Meaplus3 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I do too, AP. God what is with this board?!! I thought this was supposed to be a supportive place for "Other People" to come and tell their stories and get support, not a place for "Other People" to be heaped upon with criticisms, judgments, "I told ya so"'s that they're already heaping upon themselves. There are some nice people here and I thank you for your insights. And for the record, my back story is complex, so it's not logical or fair to just stereotype my situation without knowing all the details. Also, I've never been involved with someone married before, so no there's no way I "should have known" what was going to happen, or what to expect. Why are so many of you here so mean and judgmental to people you don't even know? Try and ignore the post's that annoy you. I understand what your saying, however everyone is entitled to their own option. AP:)
IpAncA Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Also, I've never been involved with someone married before, so no there's no way I "should have known" what was going to happen, or what to expect. I know he's doing the right thing, it just pisses me off that he didn't foresee this happening before we got together 3 months ago, so I could have been spared some hurt. If you didn't foresee things happends, then why you would expect him to?
JamesM Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I guess this answers your other thread quite well. Is he one of the good guys? Sometimes the comments do seem harsh here, but many are spoken from experience. As harsh as they come across, it is because these people have been where you are and have experienced even more. As you have discovered, the MM is as other married men. He (like I would) thinks he is different, but when you base a relationship on a lie, then you are no different than any other person who has done this. Take this as a learning experience. Now when you visit this board (and I am sure we all hope that you do), you can share your experience with those who have questions that relate to your affair.
child_of_isis Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Truthfully,....your situation is pretty typical. OW's get all caught up in the lies and sweet talk. They wouldn't be OW's if they didn't. And for the record, my back story is complex, so it's not logical or fair to just stereotype my situation without knowing all the details. Also, I've never been involved with someone married before, so no there's no way I "should have known" what was going to happen, or what to expect.
Author JMC Posted November 19, 2007 Author Posted November 19, 2007 Thanks COI, I didn't know that. And thanks James too. And AP again too.
Cinabon Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 JMC - you will learn just to ignore those certain posters.
dbtmarley Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 JMC, He could be one of those married men who think, hell this woman did not respect my relationship with my wife... how on earth would she respect our own? Some guys are just crazy like that. I think you under estimated how much people frown on infidelity within a marriage... maybe you failed to realize... well.. that it is wrong no matter how you try to rationalize it. You say you have very little experience on this subject and this was your first time. If you ever become a victim of it you'll understand where the criticism comes from you've encountered in this post. It's simple if the guy has a wedding band on he's off limits... no matter what sob story he has for you...
Lizzie60 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Just got dumped because of the kids, not because of the wife. Ah what a classic. Kids (count 'em, four of 'em) are acting up and feeling neglected with the extreme little time MM and I spend together....and he just cleanly and neatly just cut me out. I told him they're going to be hurt whether he leaves now or when they're all grown up. I know he's doing the right thing, it just pisses me off that he didn't foresee this happening before we got together 3 months ago, so I could have been spared some hurt. After only 3 months.. I doubt very much he's being honest with the reason... I doubt very much it's because of the kids... especially if it was extreme little time.. how would they miss him? Methink there is more than one OW.. just a feeling. If you rarely see him, I really can't see how his kids would be suffering... really,... I think he's lying.
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