MissingMyHubby Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Girl who flaked on me yesterday to hang with friends called me tonight. I missed her call but called her back 2 hours later. We get talking, she talks about last night a little bit, and we just generally converse and keep it playful for about 10-15 minutes. Then she says the dreaded words, "Hey, i feel bad for telling you this, but..." Basically she said that she doesn't want me to feel like I am being led on. She says she is "not ready" to date right now. I acted pretty aloof about it. I told her I had gotten out of a LTR 3 months ago, told her my spiel, then she told me she got out of one 1.5 months ago. They had been on for 6 months, off for 3, and back on for 2. I have only taken this girl out on a couple of dates and haven't even offically kissed her yet, and at the same time she tells me she doesn't feel any pressure whatsoever from me. I haven't tryed to force myself onto her in any way or act desperate. So I do not know how she can come out and tell me she doesn't want to lead me on any right now. She kept saying she felt bad about the whole thing, but I told her it was okay and stuff. I made her feel comfortable about everything she had to say. I did come out and ask her politely about if it was just me, or if it was her, in a roundabout way. She pretty much told me she went on a couple dates with some millionaire guy and he was cute, but she called it off with him. So I guess that is suposed to tell me to not take it personal. She said she would like to continue to hang out whe she comes back in a week and a half, but I am not sure how to approach it now. I do NOT want to get put in the friendzone. I know she's attracted to me. She told me she has a blast with me all the time. But its like something is holding her back right now from wanting to engage further than casually dating or whatnot. I am thinking about calling her tomarow and explaining why I havent made a move, sorta speak, on her because I wasn't sure how she felt and didn't want to make her uncomfortable. Maybe it would work in my favor. I can continue to say how I am "glad" she told me she doesn't want to exclusively date right now, because I am in the same boat. I did tell her I was cool with it all, but I can re-iterate the fact I am fine with this decision. Or maybe I should let it go? Should I institute NC? I am going hunting for a week. Maybe call her in a week? Or wait till she and I come back into town, and call? I don't know my next move. Unless its hers to make? I don't want to burn the bridge. But she tryed to illustrate to me not to take this personally. Maybe I got let down easy and just say oh well. Pick up my pieces and be done. Advice?
LoisLane Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 I'm confused. Are you a lesbian? If you're male, what's with your username? You like her alot, then give her some time. Call her when you get back from your hunting.
Author MissingMyHubby Posted November 19, 2007 Author Posted November 19, 2007 I am a male, and it is an old username. Long story about that. But you think I should call her? I was thinking NC....
tanbark813 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Well, IMO, you're already dead in the water. If she really were attracted to you she'd suddenly be "ready" to start dating again. But if you want to still give it a shot definitely do not call her and explain why you haven't made a move. It will look lame and won't do anything positive for you. When you see leading men in romantic movies do you see them grabbing the girl and kissing her passionately? Or do you see them calling on the phone and explaining why they don't have the balls to make a move? Be that guy. For now, don't call her. Wait until she gets back in town and calls you. And if she does and you end up going out, kiss her this time. She may pull away but at least you'll have your answer.
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