imagineinc71 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Hi all. I'm new to this site and I have a question about a freind I have been talking with long distance for about 6 months or so. We met on line and we have talked over the phone. We have both expressed that we like each other and want to meet. Initally we planned for the weekend of the the 24th but that has now been post-poned until the following weekend if she can get the day off. This will be our first date. So anyway the last couple of days we have been talking about our schedules. She sends me an email telling me she is going to try and get someone to work for her the following weekend but that the weekend after that is know good because she is going to visit a friend in Colorado. Every time I get knews like this my first instinct is to want to know if its a guy frined and what is the framework of the relationship. I have know problem with girls having guy friends especially when Im not even her boyfriend. However, if this frined she is meeting in CO is a guy and its some one whom she only has a cyber/phone relationship with Im not sure how I would feel about that. Part of me wants to ask her to help in deciding if I want to waste my time meeting up with here because I think if this is some one she may have an interest in I dont think its that cool that we have been talking and telling each other we like each other and then she also has been doing the same thing with some one else. I realize Im doing alot of projecting here and I really hate it when I do that. However at the same time I kind of want to know to help me to decide whether or not I want to give more towards a possible relationship or pull back. If I do try to get info about this "friend" whats the best way to go about getting it and not coming across as jealous or asking 101 questions. Im not jealous I would just like to know to help in my decision making process. Any and all feedback welcome. Thanks for reading. Peace
dancinggal Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Dude, First of all, do you really have a problem with a girl having a guy friend? I can understand if its because they have an attraction for one another, but it not, I don't see what the big deal is. I have to say, I'd go crazy if my boy got jealous of every guy I know. Secondly, yes, you must ask her. The only way to do this is next time you guys chat is to ask casually about the friend. You don't even know what sex it is, so just go, what's your friend's name? How'd you guys meet? Its cool you still keep in contact even though they are so far away. Also, still go on the date. You never know, she could be special.
Aussie65 Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 A person has to set bounderies...so often people fall into the mistake of being "friends" with someone of the opposite sex then end up having sex with them.I personally avoid things being alone with someone else of the opposite sex....come on,there is a thing called chemistry. I have a problem with this too so if you do then you need to tell her how you feel and hopefully she will put you first.
Author imagineinc71 Posted November 20, 2007 Author Posted November 20, 2007 Thanks for the advice. Im definitely not jealous if she has guy friends. Im more interested in the framework behind the realtionship. If she is going to visit the guy. Is it someone she has know for a long while.. is it someone she recently met... etc. I think in some ways Im probably searching for some black and white answers that just sometimes arent there. Get this... I asked here who this friend was in CO. I said I didnt want some mountain man luring her away from what could potentially be her knight in white boxer briefs.. I told her I know we have never met but that we have been developoing cyber bonds etc.. She got a kick out of my inquiry and told me that I didnt need to worry that I was still her number 1 cyber sweety.... She totally side stepped the question..... Should I assume based off her response that it is a guy and or someone she has a potential interest in. I'm still interested in knowing more but just not sure what angle to take. Like I said I dont want her to feel lik she is being interrogated or that Im being jealous Im just trying to find more out about her relationship behavior and what she thinks is acceptable..... during the pre-dating phase... I feel like sending her an email that says way to aviod the question. On the other hand she did tell me not to worry and part of me wants to trust that. But the non-trusting side of my nature wants answeres Dammit!! LOL!! Still Looking for more feedback. Thanks All!!
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