asilisa Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 Hi everyone I've been doing pretty good considering it hasn't even been a month yet. So the reason I write tonight is because my ex is making me very angry. Although I got almost 98% of my things from his house the night we broke up I did leave a few things there. My brother in law went to his house last night to pick up the paints I left there because my sister wanted them and I asked her to ask my ex if I left my JLO sandals at his house. Well, it turns out I did. He said he saw them when he was moving things around but can't remember where he put them. Come on! I could understand if I asked for them back a year later but it's been like 3 weeks. There isn't that many place he could have put them. I just wanna yell "GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK!" I would just let it go but they were like 70 dollars plus why is he being such a jerk? He was just sitting there drinking why couldn't he get up and look for my darn sandals? I don't want to see him - I wanted him to give all my stuff to my brother in law. I haven't had contact with him since the first week of our break up except when he texts me to tell me he is gonna get me a muffler. I don't think I'm even gonna take the muffler or answer his texts about it anymore. I guess I'll have to send my brother in law back in a week or so perhaps my ex will have "found" them by then. It just makes me so angry because he is either playing games or just being an a**. Why? Just leave me alone. Thanks for listening people...he is just making me so angry.
Tony T Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 He cannot make you angry. You can only decide to make yourself angry. He has no contact whatsoever with your emotional system. It is unfortunate that you don't have your sandals and it would be nice to have them back but his not getting them for you immediately is no basis for you to decide to totally upend your world. First, you have to take some responsibility here for leaving them at his house. Obviously, if you left them there when you packed up all your stuff you yourself didn't do such a hot job of keeping track of them...how could you expect your ex to? Secondly, I'm sure he will get your sandals to you when he finds them. He's certainly as eager to break all ties as you are. Always go out of your way not to upset yourself. It's a cruel world out there and if you're not going to be nice to yourself, how could you expect others to? Celebrate the fact that you are away from this guy and about to start a whole new life! Getting angry can also shorten your life. Google "anger heart" and see how much the emotion of anger plays into heart disease...among other things.
Author asilisa Posted November 19, 2007 Author Posted November 19, 2007 Well actually Tony he can make me angry because I guess I can't turn off my emotions like you. And I lived with him for 4 years so I'm sorry if I forgot to grab a few of my things...not to mention that when i was packing I wasn't the most emotionally stable person. My ex said that he JUST seen the shoes and put them somewhere...but couldn't remember where. I find this hard to believe because he doesn't live in a mansion and his room is about as big as a shoe box. If he was as eager as I was to cut ties he would have had all of my stuff in one place because he knew my brother in law would be getting it. So when he saw the shoes that little light bulb would go off in his head that said, "Oh maybe I should put these with her other things." He could remember to give me back stupid pencils but not the shoes that I specifically asked for? Whatever...I just want to be done with it all. Trust me I can't wait til I don't care anymore.
Jmina Posted November 19, 2007 Posted November 19, 2007 He cant make you angry. Tony T is right. and its not about 'turning off' your emotions. It isnt even about the shoes either, i mean.. its jsut a pair of shoes. buy a new pair! tell him to chuck em out. why are you really angry. it cant be about the shoes. you think that he is holding your shoes to make you angry and upset? maybe out of spite? and its working? which makes you more resentful and angry not only to him but yourself? hey i could be totally off the mark here, but i knwo its not about the shoes. i also know that this forum is good just to get some frustrations out so i think its fine that you posted what you did, but in hindsight it would also be good to pick up any old patterns and learn from them. only trying to help. you seem quite angry and i dont want to get my head bitten off because you 'cant turn off' your emotions. I know you can control them when you want to. Jmina. x
Recommended Posts